[Response to why Evangelicals don't dance]
We don't dance (as it is today) for a couple of reasons:
1. most types of dancing we see today are sensual
2. the types of dancing we see today do not glorify the Lord
3. Modern dance involves the use of music that does not glorify the Lord.
69 comments
Bro. Randy, dear, since at least the Middle Ages, dances are sensual(see bellydance or flamenco, to name a few), because are meant to be the first step to find your couple. And of course, they don´t glorify God every minute of the day. Jesus himself was clear, render Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and to God what belongs to God.
Eating doesn't glorify God, Bro. Randy. Neither does sleeping. Or breathing.
That's it! Why don't you try to stop breathing. Then, as soon as you master that skill, you can devote more of your time to glorifying god!
I wonder if Bro. Randy ever takes a shit. I mean, that doesn't glorify God, does it? And, Bro. Randy IS quite full of shit.
For an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and omnivorous chap this YHWH is quite the attention whore, wouldn't you say?
Randy,
You forgot,,
4. Dancing requires comunicating on some level.
5. Dancing requires that sombody be willing to stand within 50 meters of you
Kevin Bacon, please call your office immediately!
If it makes you feel better, Randy, there is nothing less sensual than my recent attempts to learn to play Dance Dance Revolution. I do agree that most of the music sucks though.
Papabear: I wonder if Bro. Randy ever takes a shit. I mean, that doesn't glorify God, does it? And, Bro. Randy IS quite full of shit."
But don'cha know? God is supposedly everywhere and in everything.
That means, when you're attending to your business in the bathroom, god is in the toilet and also IS the toilet, god is in your ass and also is your ass, god is in the shit and also is the shit.
That explains the concept of the Trinity.
"Ever since there have been men, man has given himself over to too little joy. That alone, my brothers, is our original sin. I should believe only in a God who understood how to dance."
-Henri Matisse
Jezebel's Evil Sister: That means, when you're attending to your business in the bathroom [...] god is in the shit and also is the shit.
That explains the concept of the Trinity.
Well, if you buy the idea of Jesus being God, and the communion wafer actually becoming Jesus' body (as per the Roman Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation), and you take communion and then later take a shit, I suppose this makes some measure of sense.
However, unless Brother Randy converts to Catholicism (and I doubt the Catholics want him), he either engages in at least one activity regularly that doesn't involve God, or else we've finally discovered that he is even more full of shit than previously suspected.
Aww. I think somebody couldn't get a date for the prom and he's still pissed about it.
By the way, I just wrote a big, fat post about Randy on my blog. I just couldn't contain myself any longer.
I'm sure it's because I have Satan controlling my every move.
<< The Hora, the hora! >>
(*snerk*) Rimshot for flipper!
"We don't dance (as it is today)"? What KIND of dance done today, Randy? The Hora? Belly dancing? Flamenco? Slam? Waltz? Tap? Bavarian folk? The Hokey Pokey? Are ALL of these necessarily taboo? Just because the Bible tells people to dance in praise to God (and it DOES do this) doesn't mean you aren't allowed to dance for any other reason or in any other way.
~David D.G.
Randy 1-3 are not reasons, merely excuses!
The reason is you've got so many sticks up your ass, you can't walk, let alone have rhythm!
"Don’t know much about dancin’
That’s why I got this song
One of my legs is shorter than the other
’n’ both my feet’s too long
’course now right along with ’em
I got no natural rhythm
But I go dancin’ every night
Hopin’ one day I might get it right
I’m a dancin’ fool, I’m a
Dancin’ fool
I hear that beat; I jump outa my seat,
But I can’t compete, ’cause I’m a
Dancin’ fool, I’m a
Dancin’ fool
The disco folks all dressed up
Like they’s fit to kill
I walk on in ’n’ see ’em there
Gonna give them all a thrill
When they see me comin’
They all steps aside
They has a fit while I commit
My social suicide, I’m a
Dancin’ fool, I’m a
Dancin’ fool
The beat goes on
And I’m so wrong
The beat goes on
And I’m so wrong
The beat goes on ’n’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on ’n’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on ’n’ I’m so wrong
I may be totally wrong, but I’m a
Dancin’ fool, I’m a
Dancin’ fool
Youwsa, youwsa, youwsa
I got it all together now
With my very own disco clothes, hey!
My shirt’s half open, t’show you my chains
’n’ the spoon for up my nose
I am really somethin’
That’s what you’d prob’ly say
So smoke your little smoke
Drink your little drink
While I dance the night away, I’m a
Dancin’ fool, I’m a
Dancin’ fool, (etc., etc.)
I may be totally wrong, but I’m a
I may be totally wrong, but I’m a
I may be totally wrong, but I’m a
Fool-uh!
Hey darlin’...can I buy ya a drink?
Lookin’ for mister goodbar? here he is...
Wait a minute...I’ve got it...you’re an italian!
Hah?
Yer jewish?
Love your nails...you must be a libra...
Your place or mine?"
should we tell these fundies what sort of dance David did before the Lord (and Saul, and Jonathon)?
Bump'n'grind - a bit like the sensual dances you see women doing in "eastern" films.
Mhmm. Sure. And my wife Richard Wright.
Oh wait, she isn't! I'M NOT EVEN MARRIED! OF COURSE IT ISN'T EFFING TRUE!!
1. most types of dancing we see today are sensual
That's right, and inevitably so! All the more so for the two main disciplines (latin, ballroom) what with the interplay between the two genders. I do wish that Latin costumes didn't focus too much on the sexy (much to my own annoyance). For that matter, rock n' roll refers to a sexual analogy (from what I heard, take with the salt shaker!).
2. the types of dancing we see today do not glorify the Lord
I wonder what actually glorifies the Lord in any case
3. Modern dance involves the use of music that does not glorify the Lord.
- Yeah, cause most of it is secular music that isn't strictly worship music. That was pretty expected.
(Y) for sensual slow dancing, @#160972.
“We don't dance (as it is today)”
The question was NOT why you didn’t macarena, it’s why you don’t dance at all. Hula Dancing is centuries old, but people still practice it. The Waltz, same-same. You don’t have to dance whatever’s in the clubs.
“most types of dancing we see today are sensual”
Which would not be a problem for TRUE Christains, as the bible says such people cannot be tempted to sin. A True Christain would say, “It’s got a great beat, and you can NOT SIN to it.”
“the types of dancing we see today do not glorify the Lord”
Then rediscover or develop the dances mentioned in the bible, nu?
“Modern dance involves the use of music that does not glorify the Lord.”
Modern, Modern, Modern. As if there’s a law that any dance MUST reflect Top 40 trends.
So, the three reasons are actually one reason, your faith isn’t strong enough to go to a club.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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