When Jesus said there would be signs in the sun, He didn't say that power grids would be knocked out or that solar flares, gamma rays, electromagnetic storms would always face the earth, and at times they will, He just said there will be signs in the sun.
So to me this is just another sign indicating that Jesus is coming very very soon!
49 comments
Yes, soon. Very sooooooooooooooooooon. Any day now.
YAWN. Give up with this rapture shit, for fuck's sakes.
Thank God for Rapture Ready, Sid Roth, Chuck Missler, et al
But for all you, there's the Washington Post. And Mr Fair and Balanced.
Ps. The sun is anyone's guess. But should there be an Electromagnetic Pulse sufficient to knock you off the grid - have a chuckle about all those survivalists you'd sneer at on a daily basis.
Jesus was a master ass-coverer. You can't look at the sun without risking blindness, so no one will ever see any signs. That way, they can't say there are no signs in the sun, ergo Wizard Did It.
A companionpiece to the "weird weather sign of Jesus coming soon" or "have you noticed the recent conflict in the middle-east? Surely a sign of end-times"
Be born-again doesn't mean you get to erase the past.
this is just another sign indicating that Jesus is coming very very soon!
Yes, "signs" and all that jazz. See confirmation bias
Its been about 2000 years now, you Rapturites have a very strange definition for "soon".
So if Jesus isn't saying what the signs in the sun might be, why would this indicate that he is coming very soon? Besides, if you look at the sun too much you'll go blind, though you're already blind to logic.
"He just said there will be signs in the sun"
And if these aren't those things, then what the hell are they going to be? Letters showing up on the surface of the sun (in English, of course)?
So solar flares which have been observed for hundreds of years and have probably been occurring since the formation of the sun are signs of Jesus' return?
Do these people ever realize how desperate they sound?
If it isn't mentioned specifically in the Bible, it didn't/won't happen.
Your precious USA not mentioned in your precious Bible, is it? Nor are satellites, electricity (and the distribution of such), computers or EMP, for that matter.
'Signs in the sun'? It's what happens outside of such that matters, not the fusion reaction in that star, you educationally inferior twat! But I guess Physics/Cosmology not part of your 'hoemskuling' curriculum, eh raptalcoholic?
The only sign I'm seeing here is that Ruptured Retards are needing a thicker grade of aluminium for those tinfoil hats. And not just to guard against all the 'Obamanation' BS, post-late last year. Your tumours affected by small growths called brains not cooked properly yet...?!
@John_in_Oz
Or even The Doctor. He could give ol' Jezzy a few pointers on how to come back to life, seeing as he's very experienced on that matter. [/Whovian] [/smartarse]
'Musician up his arse' on RR, I'm looking at you , re. your obsession with the Tenth Doctor (David Tennant) and all that jazz...! >:D
So to me this is just another sign indicating that Jesus is coming very very soon!
Holy solar flare!
The sun goes into sun spot max every 11 years, it is a cycle not something unusual, dumbo!
That'll teach yer not to ban those pesky science books from your home-skool curriculum. You'd have learned that the sun has been doing that for billions of years.
Oh and whilst we are on the subject, "signs in the sun". I need specifics, otherwise it doesn't count as prophecy. If it is vague enough, then any old twaddle can be interpreted as fulfillment of a prophecy. Of course, Christians would never stoop that low, would they?
Because obviously if it isn't mentioned in the Bible, it won't happen.
Oh no wait, the people who wrote the Bible could not see into the future, fuckwit. Shut up.
@Meeeh
"Holy solar flare!"
The Intrepid-class starship USS Voyager passes through the arc of a solar prominence in the opening titles of "Star Trek: Voyager"
"So to me this is just another sign indicating that Jesus is coming very very soon!"
You don't know the half of it. And way before then, in an episode of "ST:VOY", a shuttle was adapted to experiment with an advanced propulsion system (as a potential shortcut, re. their need to return to the Alpha Quadrant). Only, it worked a little too well: It achieved Warp 10, thus it occupied every point in the universe simultaneously. Onmi presence.
Therefore Tom Paris (Voyager's chief helmsman and pilot of said propulsion experiment run) became - for a short time - God.
Prophecy. Can be such a bitch when it wants to be eh, raptalcoholic...?! >:D
This "Jesus" guy doesn't seem to know jack shit about the sun or anything else he supposedly created.
---------------------------------------------
@Qazamir McSmarty Britches
Its been about 2000 years now, you Rapturites have a very strange definition for "soon".
Well, this guy is claiming "very very soon". Maybe that's different. Maybe it's only going to be another thou or so...
Wooooooooo-oooooooo getting SO close!
Not holding my breath waiting.
@ Z: Damn you, now I have to go play that song before it drives me nuts.
Re: OP - Considering you lot would see a sign of the Second Coming in a Pop-Tart, pardon me for not taking you too seriously.
"He didn't say that power grids would be knocked out or that solar flares, gamma rays, electromagnetic storms would always face the earth,"
Funny how Jesus never mentioned things that his fellow iron age tribesment knew about.
@ sheila
Don't these believers READ their holy book? Jesus was alleged to have said, some of those of you STANDING HERE will not taste death before they have SEEN the kingdom of god. People don't live for thousands of years so Jesus was LYING!
Google "wandering jew." Apparently they felt the need to invent a character to fit this prophecy. The story goes that supposedly there was a man who was present when Jesus said that and continued to live for 2000 years, is still alive today, and will continue to walk the earth until Jesus returns just to fulfill this prophecy. So instead of realizing that Jesus was wrong about the second coming happening in a short time, they decided to invent an extrabiblical story.
Of course that doesn't explain when Jesus said in Matthew 24 after describing all the things which would happen right before the end of the world that "this generation shall not pass from the earth until all this comes to pass." Not only does that say that Jesus was predicting the end of the world in his listeners' lifetimes, but it also kind of puts a wet blanket over the pre-tribulation rapture idea.
@Doubting Thomas
"Don't these believers READ their holy book?"
Of course they don't. Or [i]daren't[/i]:
image
'Properly read , the Bible is the most potent force for Atheism ever conceived'
-Isaac Asimov
@SpukiKitty
The fundie space mission has plans for a manned mission to the Sun. They're travelling at night , when it's cold.
[/Old joke taken from the Rosetta Stone] X3
I'm still waiting I'm still waiting I'm still waiting I'm still waiting Waiting for Christ in the USA Waiting for Christ in the USA Waiting for Christ in the USA Waiting til I die Waiting for the day Waiting for the day Waiting for the day He needs me I'm still waiting I'm still waiting I'm still waiting I'm still waiting Wasting my time in the USA Wasting my time in the USA Wasting my life in the USA Waiting til I die Waiting for the day Waiting for the day Waiting for the day He needs me Waiting for the day Waiting for the day Waiting for the day He needs me I'm still waiting I'm still waiting I'm still waiting I'm still waiting Waiting for a life in the USA Waiting for a life in the USA Waiting for a life in the USA
- Ministry, Waiting (Not their best work, but still the Rapture Freak anthem.)
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.