"10. You vigorously deny the existence of God, yet you frequently blame him for everything that is wrong in modern society."
Nope, anymore than I blame the Tooth Fairy for my gingivitus.
"9. You repeatedly insist that man did not, in fact, evolve from an ape. Apes and men both evolved from another species who did not resemble Curious George in any way."
Man did not evolve from any modern ape. Man is, however, an ape, as were his common ancestors with all other ape species.
"8. You criticize Christians who don't know their Bible, yet you have never opened any of Darwin's texts."
I have read Darwin's texts, but that is irrelevant, science has progressed since Darwin's time, there are new books to learn. Equally, there have been new translations of the bible, but not only do many christians not read any of them, many reject anything except the KJV.
"7. While all created evidence and reasoning point to a Creator and absolute truth, you prefer to hide behind relativism and a theory of evolution which does not, in fact, describe the creation of the universe at all."
Yes, but most of your evidence is exactly as you say, created. Made-up stuff might convince you and your fundie mates (it certainly worked for the bible), but I prefer my evidence to come from demonstrably real and repeatable sources.
And the TOE doesn't deal with the origin of the universe, no. That you consider it a weakness, yet don't consider the bible's complete failure to address the hazards of improperly initialised pointers in computer applications to be equally a weakness, demonstrates your bias and nothing else.
"6. You can't seem to understand the fundamental differences between fundamental Muslims and fundamental Christians (hint: strap-on TNT)"
Both use bombs, but christians are to scared to hang around when setting theirs off? So I guess that fundamentalist christians are either cowards or not 100% sure that they're guaranteed to get into heaven.
"5. You willingly attribute all historical atrocities in Europe to a demographic that contained approximately 100% of Europeans during the period in question."
Europe had its pogroms against the Jews, its crusades against the muslims and its centuries of sectarian violence between various christian groups. If the demographic was 100% anything, who were they fighting?
Religion was and is used as an excuse for plenty of really shitty behaviour. While this isn't always religion's fault, it frequently originates from religion's organized mouthpieces.
"4. You also like to ignore the beneficial discoveries of the aforementioned demographic."
Religion is frequently the inspiration for violence and hatred, less frequently for invention and discovery. But then, the same is broadly true of atheism.
"3. You don't realize that a closed system can be defined however the observer wants, so you throw out technological phrases to try to ignore the implications of thermodynamics."
In thermodynamics, a closed system is defined as a system in which matter and energy neither enters nor leaves. The implications of the thermodynamics of closed systems refer only to 'closed systems' meeting thermodynamics' definition of one.
"2. You accuse Christians of being hateful and you hope that they DIAF."
I reserve that 'prayer' for those people who have demonstrated that the world would truly be better off without them. Even then, I don't actually desire that they die in any particularly horrible fashion (peaceably in their sleep would suffice), but if someone is publicly wishing a painful death on someone else, why not return the favour?
"1. Your biggest complaint is that these typically hopeful and caring people want to share the greatest single thing in their life with you."
Hardly my biggest complaint. And why, having declined their offer, should I have to put up with it being repeatedly thrust upon me? Why should I have to accept that they can go round me and share this 'greatest single thing' with my children without my permission?
I think sex is great, does that mean you're okay with me repeatedly pestering you and your kids to join in? Maybe I feel wearing a condom ruins the moment, should I then be allowed to trash 'safe-sex' education and say that maybe AIDS is caused by bad bananas?
"You're like an idiot who wipes with winning lottery tickets. Clap. Clap."
No, I'm like an idiot who won't buy a lottery ticket because he thinks the millions-to-one chance of a jackpot doesn't justify spending a couple of dollars on a ticket. However many lottery adverts air, however many past winners are trotted out, the simple calculation that led to that choice still stands.
You're like an idiot in a pyramid scheme selling next week's lottery numbers at $100 a throw. Sure, it's a great deal if you're right, but chances are you are not, and that you've been suckered yourself to boot.
