NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- The Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary offers coursework in Greek and Hebrew, in archaeology, in the philosophy of religion and -- starting this fall -- in how to cook and sew.
Southwestern Baptist, one of the nation's largest Southern Baptist seminaries, is introducing a new academic program in homemaking as part of an effort to establish what its president calls biblical family and gender roles.
It will offer a bachelor of arts in humanities degree with a 23-hour concentration in homemaking. The program is only open to women.
Coursework will include seven hours of nutrition and meal preparation, seven hours of textile design and "clothing construction," three hours of general homemaking, three hours on "the value of a child," and three hours on the "biblical model for the home and family."
66 comments
These are the sort of fundies that need the "Minnesota Cure" Strip them down first for the sauna, after they get good and sweaty make them jump in the water through a hole in the ice when it's -30. Not forgetting chasing them all the way from sauna to dunking place while swatting them with birch branches.
If you are wondering why I suggest this I'm feeling kind of grumpy about Fred Phelps threatening to come to my state to protest the bridge collapse and I would like to do that to him.
Well what the fuck do you expect, it's a Southern Baptist Seminary, it's not like they're gonna teach women to be pastors or even mention Jesus except as an afterthought. Shit, they're gonna teach Paul and ignore Jesus's teachings altogether.
Does this course go into how to sell slaves, build a grass hut or tent for the nomadic caravan, how to prepare the animals the men kill, how to gather fruits/vegetables, how far to stay away from the family during a woman's period? If not, then it's not a biblical family and God will be much pissed and rain down fire and brimstone.
Here's a quick and easy formula to see how much money you'll be making with your new Bachelor of Arts degree from Southern Baptist Seminaries!
(-x) + (y * 365.25) = z
It's every modern woman's dream, you know, to be a homemaker. Because we just aren't as ambitious or intelligent as men, and have no interests or passions beyond cranking out babies.
I, for one, think archeology is pretty neat. But being female, you know what interests me even more (all us females have the same wishes, of course)? Diminishing my worth as a human being by developing an inferiority complex based on a single chromosome. That would be swell.
Well, golly gee whiz, sir, and here was silly ol' me thinkin' 'bout travelling the world and seein' myself some sights. Gosh darnit, I never realized how much I wanted to be a submissive little doormat who likes cookin' and cleanin' and gettin' knocked up and pushin' a squallin', disgustin' little bundle of joy out my twat.
Sir, I'll be wishin' real good and hard for a rabid wolverine to bite off that there cock of yours that apparently makes you so much better than half the planet.
General homemaking; you take a house, a biblical husband, a number of children (remember that contraceptives are a sin), hoemschooling, big, heavy shopping bags, an incredibly high level of stress and some wine. Mix together, then put mixture (should be a dark brown bordering on black) in a pre-heated oven for 35 minutes. Your home is ready!
Cool cat; the "minnesota cure" you're talking about is quite nice, actually ^_^
If you are wondering why I suggest this I'm feeling kind of grumpy about Fred Phelps threatening to come to my state to protest the bridge collapse and I would like to do that to him.
Phelps is protesting that? How can a bridge be gay?
Then, of course men can send their dogs on a somewhat more prestigious course where they learn to sit and speak.
To keep these habits well away from women, these courses take place on a remote location.
Sickening, but I certainly hope they're not getting any Federal money to fund the school. Otherwise, they're going to have a hell of a civil rights case on their hands that they'll no doubt lose when the first male student tries to apply for that course.
Coursework will include seven hours of nutrition and meal preparation, seven hours of textile design and "clothing construction," three hours of general homemaking, three hours on "the value of a child," and three hours on the "biblical model for the home and family.""
What? No sex edumacashun?
Am I weird in thinking that these classes should be taught to everybody? I mean do they expect men to marry right away or live at home or something? Cooking is a useful skill, so is sewing.
Exception being the "biblical model for the home and family."
Clearly a case of life imitating art. The words to Southern Baptist by Hugh Blumenfeld are just too funny and appropriate right now.
Southern Baptist
"I'm gonna be a Southern Baptist
A Southern Baptist girl should dream
I ain't gonna listen to your taunting
I'm gonna be a Southern Baptist
© 1998 Hugh Blumenfeld/Hydrogen Jukebox Music
@ Xi:
My mom is of the belief that men should have to live on their own for at least two years before they're allowed to get married. That way they'll hopefully get used to doing their own laundry, cooking dinner, cleaning house, etc. so that if they do get married/live with a partner, they'll be more likely to do half the work.
This applies to women, too, but so far we haven't seen any examples of women doing nothing while guys pick up all the slack. I know that they're out there somewhere, but we haven't seen it yet.
Ok, other than that last one, and the "only open to women" bit, I'd be interested in this.
I'd really like some instruction on how to cook and sew, since trying to teach myself has had some....unfortunate....results (often involving fire alarms and glares from my roommates).
Annoying how these people can take something completely reasonable and then kill it by presenting it like this.
When I was in ninth grade there was a home ec class that was offered and it was actually pretty useful. We did crafts, learned about budgeting, learned some basic knitting and sewing skills, cooked, stuff like that. However, it was open to everyone regardless of gender (and some guys did take it) and it didn't inject any Jesus. (We did, however, read Little Women. Yecch.) I think the problem with this is that only women are allowed to take it and they're basically being taught how to be a good doormat.
@ Delirium,
We had compulsory home ec in 8th and 9th grade, including cooking, 'healthy' cooking and sewing classes. Compulsory for the boys too! My mother was delighted she didn't have to teach my brothers to cook.
I agree that this course aims to put women 'in their place' ie. tied to the sink. Biblical model: *puke*.
In this day and age, I could actually see where a course based on the first 20 hours would be useful for MEN as well as women. In the day and age of soccer moms, simple household things are not being taught to guys or girls.
My son will know how to cook, do simple sewing fixes, and do his own laundry before he leaves for college. He will also know how to use his own mind to make his own life decisions. (Oops - free-will - a no-no according to SBTS.)
The last three hours of "the biblical model for the home and family" is something that a couple needs to decide on together once they get together - whether living together (oops, that is a SIN according to SBTS) or being married. You can't teach that - it come from being in a relationship and making that decision together .
I had the option of taking Home Ec in high school. I am glad that I took it. But I also had a GREAT mom and grandmother that made sure that I knew how to run a household. The two together helped make me the confident woman that I am today.
No doormat here!
PhantasyElementz: I don't think you'll want an archeology degree from this college. Something tells me that their form of archeology is strongly infused with creationism, meaning that they'll only teach human history up to a few thousand years ago (the start of civilization).
The program is only open to women.
But I wanna learn how to cook, sew, and go on and on about how precious my family and children are.
"It will offer a bachelor of arts in humanities degree with a 23-hour concentration in homemaking. The program is only open to women."
This is discrimination!!! Why can't we men enroll in the program??? Shame on you!!
Mister Spak:
No, it will be like a japanese catholic girls only school - yuri isn't just not against the rules, but kinda expected ;-)
I could do with a cooking course, and a sewing course for that matter.
But when it's presented like that, no thanks.
Lesson 4
When your husband comes to beat you, always remember to tilt your head about two inches in the opposite direction his hand is going (for maximum impact). That way, you get the most pain from the hit and everyone's happy. Now let's practice, who wants to volunteer?
Meal Preparation...
Now, can men, god forbid, teach?
I only ask because my partner is a chef (we're godless homosexuals, BTW), so I'm concerned about the quality of the resipes presented in this coursework.
Oh, never mind... As long as there is Miracle Whip, Cheez Whiz, Spam, Hamburger Helper and powdered garlic, who needs fresh basil?
After all, she'll be cooking for all the church potlucks won't she? (The kids can go get themselves all obese and diabetic at McDonald's)
Why is the program only open to women? Men don't need to learn to cook, keep a home, 'construct clothing' or learn the value of a child? And, what if a couple is lesbian? Which of them will be permitted to take the coursework?
Why is the program only open to women? As I see it, most women know a bit of sewing and cooking already. More men than women need this program.
What's "general homemaking"? Is it masonry, carpentry and tiling? That really are programs that many women would benefit from.
Neither number is that large, I know, but more men than women seem to NOT know the value of a child. I.e. more fathers than mothers abandon their children, before or after birth.
"biblical model for the home and family."
1) Dad does whatever he wants, including owning slaves and concubines.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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