[In a thread titled "We're really not going home this year, are we?"]
But---here is what gets me. If we are still here, all you have to do is take the Rapture 2009 prayer thread and change it to 2010...nothing would have changed. Take all the prayer requests and just move them to 2010. Take all the threads about excitement and any day now....change the date to 2010. Take all the warnings about Obama and such...slap 2010 on it.
93 comments
A brilliant idea... an infinitely updateable prayer. Every year, simply change the year in the prayer to the current year, then when the president is replaced, just change his name also. You could use this prayer for centuries...
But---here is what gets me. If we are still here, all you have to do is take the Rapture 66 prayer tablets and change it to 67...nothing would have changed. Take all the prayer requests and just move them to 67. Take all the tablets about excitement and any day now....change the date to 66. Take all the warnings about Nero and such...slap 67 on it.
I mean, haven't Christians been doing this for a while now?
"Truly, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place." - Matthew 24:34
... and so on. All the way up to 10,000,0000,000,000,000 AD, and beyond if necessary. Easy isn't it? Of course, there'll be no Obama by then, but no doubt other imagined Satanic bug-a-bears will have risen in your collective superstitious consciousness to take his place.
And the irony is that long, long before then, you will still be here, still being persecuted by the ghosts of a long departed humanity, while the rest of us normal, arrogant, atheist, monkeys will be spread throughout the galaxy or even a multitude of galaxies. But we'll still keep surreptitious recording devices running on Earth for entertainment purposes. You can't beat a bit of tomfoolery and inept foolishness for a spot of light entertainment.
While you're at it, save some time and do it for 2011, 2012, 2013, and fill out the rest of the decade. Then start on 2020, 2021...
Every year is rapture year. I suggest you raptards stop using real dates, and you can just label every day/month/year 'Rapturetime'.
Be sure to include all past dates, mmkay?
To cocopea9052: Why are you seriously waiting minute by minute for the rapture instead of using your time to make the world a better place?
I stated in the last post of yours here at FSTDT that the Bible states that no one will know the time when Jesus Christ will return. So why don't you go out and do something constructive other than witnessing?
Too depressed? Might I suggest you talk to a psychiatrist for that?
all you have to do is take the Rapture 70 prayer thread and change it to 71...nothing would have changed.
all you have to do is take the Rapture 71 prayer thread and change it to 72...nothing would have changed.
...
all you have to do is take the Rapture 1874 prayer thread and change it to 1875...nothing would have changed.
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all you have to do is take the Rapture 2009 prayer thread and change it to 2010...nothing would have changed.
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all you have to do is take the Rapture 2135 prayer thread and change it to 2136...nothing would have changed.
...
Also from the original post:"I know in my heart, it will not stop...it will not end! Another year on the calender is not what we need. We need to go home."
Revelation 9:6 - During those days men will seek death, but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them.
Yeah, I know. Garbage taken out of context... But that's what this reminds me of. They wish suffering upon others, but they seem to only bring it upon themselves, don't they?
Then 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 etc etc
@Osiris
"I think this one might finally realize the gig is up."
One can only hope. As extra motivation (and if cocopea9052 is reading this), remember:
Every day the (C)Rapture hasn't happened, is one more day we Atheists are proved right.
You people will die from old age filling your own grandkids' heads with this Rapture shit
Not necessarily- that's one of the scariest things about Raptards. They're all amazingly selfish- all of them assume that they're guaranteed a first-class seat on the Rapture Express, but every single one of the bastards fully expects their friends, family and other 'loved' ones to be 'left behind'. I've seen quotes from RRers talking about how they explained to their toddlers that one day their mother's going to disappear and they'll have to struggle through the tribulation.
It's sickening.
Should I post my Rapture Ready picture for this one?
Edit: @Pule Thamex, that would be past the stelliferous era in our universe, the Earth would no longer have any light.
OK! I admit it! It's my fault! My God is a jealous God and has mysterious and unknowable ways and I am made exactly in His image. The thing is, God loves me, presumably because I am so like Him, as He is so like me, in fact, we might even be twins, if you saw us both together you'd barely be able to tell us apart.
Anyway, for some mysterious and unknowable reasons, jealousy may be part of it, I enjoy the fact that there are people awaiting a rapture in order to bring their lives to an end on Earth and I delight in their suffering. And so every day I pray to God that the rapture will never take place, and so far, God is answering my prayers. Who said prayers don't work? They're obviously not praying earnestly enough.
@ Smilodon
Yes, you are right. But can I claim in my defense that I was being just as fantastical as the original quote? No? Well, I did say "... long, long before then, ..." Still no? Could I suggest that one could knock a few noughts off according to ones taste? No, even more so? Blast! Why do I feel as though I've just been run through by a pair of ivory sabers?
Hey, and after 2010 you can do the same for 2011, 2012, 2013... oh who am I kidding? Everyone knows the dooms day is in 2012.
Old idea already used:
image
then 11...
this can add up pretty fast.
I mean, 2010 years already, and counting.
Ohhhh, soooo close to coming to the realization, but yet soooo soooo far away still.
Hate to break it to you raptards, but you're not going to be "going home" this year, or any year for that matter. There have been people throughout the past couple thousand years who believed exactly what you believe, and they believed that they would be "going home any minute now" as well.
How to ensure you're raptured in 2010.
1) Purchase a shitload of rat poison.
What I find funny is how they need a "prayer thread" for everyone to have everyone else pray for them for whatever reason. I mean, if God isn't going to listen to you, why would he listen to a bunch of other people asking him to change things for you? Of course praying is stupid & useless anyway, because if it's in God's plans he will change it, and if it's not in God's plans he won't change it no matter what. So stop groveling.
Of course it's most likely true that he doesn't exist anyway, and you can get the same results praying to the jug of milk in your fridge. It'll either happen, it won't happen, or you just have to wait.
Come on, join us on the dark side. It's really not that bad here. It's better than wasting your life waiting to "go home."
Here, have a cookie. They're fresh from the ovens of iniquity!
I have a better idea: Change it to "tomorrow". That way it always points to imminent future, and you don't even have to change it. Brilliant, isn't it? Of course, some of your brighter and more efficient fellows are already following such practices.
@ observiNG
Brilliant suggestion.
@Canadiest
"The Temples of Syrinx fall in 2112, better get your grandchildrens children ready for that"
Rush FTW (Geddy Lee is an Atheist after all).
@Quantum Mechanic
"Better go ahead and move that goalpost to 2235 now.
I'll see your 2335, and raise you 3335.
(*Auctioneer's voice *)
Aaaaany advances on 3335?!
@Jezebel's Evil Sister
"Typical fundyism. In one era, out the other."
GROAN
image
I can't help but feel pity for these sad, pathetic people.
I mean, really. These people need some serious help.
The most desperate (and most weak willed) are the ones that believe the most, though. Or so it would seem if you read these posts.
Good idea, then do it again for 2011, 2012, 2013...9685... whatever, it is NEVER going to happen, but go right ahead, as if prayers ever worked. *eyeroll*
God sure is gullible.
"Oh, a whole bunch more prayers! Wait on, these look kinda familiar... oh well, it's all praise I suppose..."
You can pray until the cows and the sheep come home, but hey, after 2,000 years, something's got to give.
That's just it, you fundies keep bending the schedule, applying it to every president you don't like. BECAUSE THE RAPTURE ISN'T REAL, you moron!
"Breaking News...
"In a major theological revelation, a previously unknown dead sea scroll, that had been inadvertently left behind in a storeroom move, has been revealed to the public for the first time today. The scroll, when translated, appears to be part of a private conversation between two scribes at the Essene compound at Qumran sometime around 50 AD.
"The scroll reads, "but here's what gets me. If we are still here, all you have to do is take the rapture 3810[*] scroll and change it to 3811... nothing would have changed. Take all the prayer requests and move them to 3811. Take all the scrolls about excitement and any day now... change the date to 3811. Take all the warnings about Emperor Claudius and such... slap 3811 on it.""
[* Hebrew calendar remember[**]]
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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