Acts5:41 #fundie

Acts5:41 #fundie rr-bb.com

It's coming... persecution.

I really wonder sometimes when I'm handing out Bibles, how long I'll be ABLE to do it. How long before they shut down my providers of literature? How long before anything to do with evangelism is targeted?

I think that is one reason I feel so compelled to do it. Better get your tracts now while you still can.

On the positive side, did you know Bibles are a non-tax item in Texas?

79 comments

old comment by A. Theist

Did you know Acts5:41 that you are a very important person and that you are providing a very important service? For instance, did you realize that you're more important than all the medical staff in the whole of Nigeria, to give you an example of where you should position yourself. And that the service you provide is more vital and important than that provided by all the sanitation workers in the whole of California, for instance. Imagine the dire consequences should you ever feel compelled to stop doing this utterly necessary job. When the persecution comes, ask God if He wouldn't mind sending down Peter's shadow for a couple of hours, so that it might fall on you. That should rejuvenate you sufficiently enough to perform all your required tasks. Go on. Be a hero. Do it for God. You know He wants you to.

old comment by Horsefeathers

"It's coming... persecution."

So is the Rapture.

Soon...

Some day...

Any time now...

*crickets*

"I really wonder sometimes when I'm handing out Bibles, how long I'll be ABLE to do it. How long before they shut down my providers of literature? How long before anything to do with evangelism is targeted?"

I suggest you familiarize yourself with the Constitution. Specifically the First Amendment.

"I think that is one reason I feel so compelled to do it. Better get your tracts now while you still can."

Oh, yes. They'll be snatching you off the streets any day now and taking you to some undisclosed location to "reeducate" you, I'm sure.

"On the positive side, did you know Bibles are a non-tax item in Texas?"

Perhaps they should be. They could finally fund that secession they keep yapping about.

old comment by dionysus

It's coming... persecution.

On the positive side, did you know Bibles are a non-tax item in Texas?

Is a little fucking consistency too much to ask for?

I really wonder sometimes when I'm handing out Bibles, how long I'll be ABLE to do it.

As long as you like, the first amendment guarantees it. Now here's my question: how long can an atheist billboard be up without you fuckers either vandalizing it or condoning the vandalization of it?

How long before they shut down my providers of literature? How long before anything to do with evangelism is targeted?

As long as the first amendment exists, you're protected. Because see, we actually respect the first amendment unlike you fuckers.

I think that is one reason I feel so compelled to do it. Better get your tracts now while you still can.

Don't worry, we won't run short of Bibles and tracts. Those things are like weeds, they're everywhere and even if someone DID try to get rid of them they wouldn't go away.

old comment by Prof. Bill Hill

I realize that you must be persecuted in order to fulfill your Biblical obligations, but the persecuting has to be genuine, as it probably sometimes was in the good old days. I'm afraid that if there is no genuine persecution taking place, which there isn't, then, well, tough luck. To try and refer to fairly innocuous events such as criticism of your cult as persecution augers for a rather long period spent at His Stupendousness's pleasure awaiting eternity's end in His rather extensive torture chambers.

Don't get me wrong Acts5:41, as much as I appreciate your ignorance and stupidity, and I truly do, misrepresentation of His Superbness's word will not be looked upon in too kindly a manner. OK, I also know that you slaver very well in your doltish cult, and I know that it serves a very useful purpose for ignorant and stupid people like you. But I speak only out of concern for your well-being, and not because I want you to turn to my ceiling monologueing brethren.

Drool on brother. But remember, lies and misrepresentation along with extraordinary braggadocio and unnecessary competitiveness could be the downfall of your upwardly aspiring cult.

old comment by Doubting Thomas

I really wonder sometimes when I'm handing out Bibles, how long I'll be ABLE to do it.

Probably until the day you die, or until you fundies finally destroy the First Amendment, whichever comes first.

How long before anything to do with evangelism is targeted?

Just because 99% of Americans don't want to listen to your evangelical bullshit, either owing to not being religious or already practicing Christianity or another religion, doesn't mean that that evangelism is being "targeted." And the other 1% are already fundie evangelists, so you're just preaching to each other.

P.S. Why the hell does anyone need a free bible handed to them anyway? The bible is online on several different websites. My personal favorite is http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com

old comment by Anon-e-moose

"It's coming..."

image

As long as you clean up the mess. X3

"persecution.

Have you had your basic human rights curtailed, to the extent that you no longer have any rights whatsoever, so that gangs of Atheists can beat you up, smash your windows, take your valuables & assets and ghettoise you? Then ultimately have you & your ilk rounded up & put in concentration camps where you're used as slave labour, beaten, tortured, used in hideous experiments, then gassed & incinerated?

...no? Well then. STFU. I've met & talked with a survivor of the worst of the Nazis' death factories, Auschwitz. You & your ilk know nothing of 'Persecution'.

"I think that is one reason I feel so compelled to do it."

You'll go blind doing that. X3

"Better get your tracts now while you still can."

From Jack Chick? Well, fundies of a feather slime together after all.

"On the positive side, did you know Bibles are a non-tax item in Texas?"

If you & your ilk are so concerned about being sucked off by your J-man, why are you - particularly your pastor - worried about money? PROTIP: Here in the UK, according to our laws, selling porn on Sunday is legal, but selling Bibles on Sunday is illegal. Go figure.

@Doubting Thomas

'I really wonder sometimes when I'm handing out Bibles, how long I'll be ABLE to do it.'

"Probably until the day you die, or until you fundies finally destroy the First Amendment, whichever comes first."

Thus fundies will be able to hump their Bibles to their heart's content. Well, they have to find something to do whilst waiting for that (C)Rapture.

>:D

old comment by Swede

@Canadiest
"Have you ever noticed you see no ragged worn from use Bibles? (the copy I mentioned was thirty years old and in near new condition) Try finding a shiny-new Doc Savage paperback anywhere."

The Bible I have here is rather worn, it's been patched up with tape, someone has crossed over something with a black permanent marker and it has a large stain on the first pages. I don't know how it got like that, it's my husband's but I've never seen him use it. It was printed in 1929, so it has probably had many owners since then.

To the original poster: As long as Bibles are non-tax items, you are privileged, rather than persecuted. How stupid can you get?

old comment by Anon-e-moose

"It's coming... persecution."

image

And you're just creaming yourself at that thought, aren't you?

Can't be a True Christian without a little bit of 'Persecution' eh, Ruptured Retards? So what the fuck are you lot complaining about?! Just bend over, take that pain and say 'Thank you Mistress, please may I have another?!' >:D

"how long I'll be ABLE to do it"

'Just DOOO-OOOO-OOOO...it!'

-Lord Flashheart (Rik Mayall), "Blackadder"
X3

@GigaGuess

"Oh for...

YOU ARE PUBLICLY HANDING OUT BIBLES, AND YOU'RE WONDERING IF PERSECUTION IS AROUND THE CORNER?! Jesus Fucking Christ on a Pogo-Stick, this proves it"

Not so much 'Persecution', more a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like I say, if they're not being 'Persecuted', then they can't consider themselves True Christians; and when there aren't any 'Persecutors' out there, then just create the conditions for said situations to occur. Just like Fred Phelps & co. do eh, Ruptured Retards...?!

Acts5:41 #fundie rr-bb.com

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