[Concerning the ever-troubling question of what would happen to conjoined twins during the rapture if only one of them is saved]
The saved twin would be raptured, body and all, and the unsaved twin would be left behind. If they shared major organs then the unsaved twin is in trouble, but that's not God's problem. A lot of people are going to die as a result of the rapture, i.e. car accidents from unmanned vehicles, airplane crashes, etc. It'll be utter chaos for a little while, but again that's not God's problem because if he were concerned about it, then he would fix it so that nobody dies at the time of the rapture, but I don't think he's going to do that.
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Rapture Retards aren't any different than the cliche of the mad scientist muttering, "They laughed at me...called me insane...but THEY WILL PAY!" The only difference is instead of giant robots or whatnot, Rapture Retards are looking forward to a 40-foot Jesus with laser beam eyes.
that's not God's problem because if he were concerned about it, then he would fix it so that nobody dies at the time of the rapture, but I don't think he's going to do that.
Yeah... what kind of God of Love would he be if he were concerned about that...?
Seriously, this seems to be yet another RR Poe that attempts to paint the RR version of God as a complete asshole. The name is totally non-RR - real RR believers hate the "new world order" term because it's a mark of "the Beast."
Seriously, who reviews these?
"Aw. They make such hilarious hash of their own tiny minds when messy reality collides with their fantasies."
Precisely. This is so well-stated.
I like to bring up how abortion could be moral if, since you abort a baby before it becomes a wicked sinner, you save a soul from hell. This really outrages and upsets them.
that's not God's problem
Wow. Fundie logic is awesome !
@ Brenz: My wife constantly points out how kind theists always seem to worship kind Gods and mean theists always seem to worship mean Gods.
This theist has a cruel and criminally irresponsible God who treats life like it's cheap. I wonder if s/he was a crane inspector for NYC?
Tsk, tsk.
It's a moot point. The rapture is nowhere in the Bible--so why are you even worrying about such nonsense?
In fact, do you really want to know where your religiously-pornographic dogma otherwise known as the Rapture came from?
It first started as an idea by a Chilean Catholic priest named Emmanuel Lacunza. He published a book on it and put the author as one Rabbi Ben Ezra, who was a converted Jew. This drew the attention of Rome, and his book was placed on the Index Librorum Prohibitorum.
A few years later, a sensationalist Scottish preacher by the name of Edward Irving got a hold of Lacunza's book and translated it into English. He worked it into his preachings and was kicked out of the Church of Scotland in 1833. In the interim, there was this Scottish teenager named MacDonald who apparently had some wickedly-vivid vision about the tribulation.
Enter Darby. An Irish lawyer-turned-Anglican-preacher heard about this and decided to form his own sect called the Brethren. He worked both Lacunza's ideas and MacDonald's babbling, and then spread it during the 1860's and 1870's all over North America.
Long story short: you fail. And because your god doesn't like making shit up in his name, [said like the Soup Nazi:] No Heaven For You!
But, from what I have gathered from these lunatics, there are approximately 3 'True Christians' (TM) in the world (typically the poster, DH and DD).
Is anybody going to even notice the fucking Rapture?
"If they shared major organs then the unsaved twin is in trouble, but that's not God's problem."
No, actually it is.
"A lot of people are going to die as a result of the rapture, i.e. car accidents from unmanned vehicles, airplane crashes, etc. It'll be utter chaos for a little while, but again that's not God's problem because if he were concerned about it, then he would fix it so that nobody dies at the time of the rapture, but I don't think he's going to do that."
When you're a callous asshole there's a lot of things you don't have to do I guess.
Well, we don't have to worry about all planes at least. There is at least one major airline in the US that has an official company policy that at least one member of the flight crew on every plane has to be non-christian, "just in case."
But conjoined twins originated from one fertilised egg. Every fundie knows that the soul is installed at conception, that's why abortion is murder. So conjoined twins have only one soul, which will go to heaven or hell.
So what happens when on half of a pair does all the things to get saved and the other half does none of them? Which way does the soul go?
"...if he were concerned about it, then he would fix it so that nobody dies at the time of the rapture, but I don't think he's going to do that."
So, then, we're in agreement that the fundie god is an evil arsehole.
Ah, yes, the truly deep and meaningful questions.
So, which would win in a battle, the USS Enterprise (for argument's sake, from ST:TMP) or an Imperial Star Destroyer?
Do William and Thomas Riker share one soul?
And, the real stumper, does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost during the rapture?
Well, I'm glad he cleared that question up for me.
Seriously, people actually ponder this stuff?
Translation:
"HA HA! I'm going to be RAPTURED and YOU'RE going to DIE IN A CAR CRASH and go to HELL and be ASSRAPED BY SATAN for all of eternity while I POINT AND LAUGH! NEENER NEENER NEENER!"
How very Christ-like of them.
"It'll be utter chaos for a little while..."
Unless we're discussing conjoined cows, then it's udder chaos.
They really do stay awake at night thinking about this crazy shit.
It's like listening to a Harry Potter fan explaining why some minor inconsistency in the mythos actually all makes sense if you just assume X, Y and Z.
Of course it's not God's problem, even though he CAUSED it. Yeah, don't clean up your mess or anything, God.
Honestly, what a shitty liar you are.. you say your god is going to make all of his believers disapear..but he isnt to blame for the carnage wreaked during this event..
Honestly, you should stop sucking Jesus cock and think about the words you type.
Wouldn't it be kinder of God to rapture away the saved twin in part or a perfected body and leave the unsaved twin with the organs?
And if we DO all get perfect bodies, will the only sign of the rapture be the 144,000 appendices flopping around in the discarded clothes?
Oi! @Disreg - How I can explain minor canonical kerfuffles in my fandoms is in no way similar to this batshittery. My hobbies, while at times too encompassing and incredibly steeped in minutiae are in fact my choice of how I spend my time.
Nah, God is just a little kid, playing with his toy world, he couldn't care less about the toys he has grown tired of...
That Christian love is really showing.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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