[Board titled "America Needs A Witch Law"]
No need to be sorry. You're dyslexia is probably caused by a witch. A lot of things people take for granted that weren't around hundreds of years ago are because we are not tough on witches anymore. I have a friend who has dyslexia and it was at its worst in middle school when he was always bothered by this strange girl. I witnessed her doing magic experiments with potions one day and told the principal but he said there was nothing he could do. But then one day she started harrassing another boy and started leaving him alone. The next month he broke his elbow and my friend's english grades and test scores started doing a lot better. He caught up with a normal reading level the next year. I think it's because the witch stopped bothering him.
God bless you and wish you well. Look around at the people in your life. You'll probably find some seem a little suspicious like they might have a reason to bewitch you. Try to avoid those people. They are probably witches.
73 comments
Did the girl weigh the same as a duck? If so she must be...A WITCH! BURN HER!
But really, no dyslexia does not work that way.
For fuck's sake, witches?
Did you just seriously blame dyslexia on witches?
Was your stupidity caused by a witch too?
Evidence, please! Otherwise it's just hearsay, just as valuable as the Sleeping Beauty story.
We thought my oldest brother was a bit slow, but it turned out he had wax plugs in his ears. When they were removed he caught up with word-learning almost immediately.
No witch scare needed, just medical science.
Dyslexia has been around for centuries if not longer. Do you have any idea how many people were put to death for saying bible verses backwards because of dyslexia?
Oh yes, one more thing... you're a fucking idiot.
No, dyslexia isn't one of the spells witches use. You can find out all the spells witches use from that marvelous documentary, harry Potter.
(Never thought I'd see a Fundie so crazy that recommending they consider HP a documentary would be an improvement!)
I know right, because when they had that law in Salem, Massachussets back in the late 17th century, they were really cracking down on witches and wiping them out leaving the good Puritan townspeople free and unthreatened.
Oh wait.
Look, kid, I understand that middle school is a traumatic experience for a young male if you're not the alpha-jock or at least one of the guffawing playground bullies, but most of us manage to come out the other side only a little bitter and mentally scarred, not completely insane and convinced witches are to blame for the world's evils.
Is your insanity caused by a witch?
Your principal was probably mortified when you went up to him accusing another student a witchcraft.
I can't believe people like you still exist in the 21st century.
wow, as someone who's both a pagan and who is dyslexic this is doubly insulting! And the reason that no one was dyslexic a hundred years ago is because it wasn't recognized, not because there were less witches.
"I witnessed her doing magic experiments with potions one day and told the principal but he said there was nothing he could do."
It's called "Science class". I know, you probably have never seen one yourself but they do exist.
Don't you hate it when a principal doesn't listen to your legitimate concerns and ban chemistry? I'll bet he didn't even consider organising a pep rally so the girl could be executed with a baying crowd in attendance. Stupid, Satan loving, liberal educators.
Troll. Totally making up bullshit.
Witnessed her doing magic experiments with potions? Where? In the alchemy lab in her locker? And your friend got better only after breaking his elbow? Was that the curse or the cure?
"they might have a reason to bewitch you."
And how. One Word: Elvira.
"Try to avoid those people. They are probably witches"
This trio are . Why would I want to avoid them?:
image
So it's not, say, your friend's hard work and self-discipline that fixed his grades. Nope, it was because of magic completely outside his control. You're an asshole.
@David B.
As someone who works with dyslexic students, I am absolutely blown away by ChristsAdvocate's ignorance and stupidity. I was about to have a good old rant... and then I read your comment and sat around giggling for ten minutes instead.
My blood pressure and I thank you!
You know, I come from a family of witches. Probably THE MOST life altering thing any of my witch relatives has ever done was put masses of slugs in her enemy's garden.
Witches can't cause dyslexia and without the aid of a baseball bat they can't cause broken elbows either.
EDIT: BTW the slug thing was AWESOME! They decimated his "prize" *snort* garden.
Or your friend's grades improved because he started trying in school.
I don't pretend to understand all the theories behind magic, but from what I do understand magic practitioners believe that casting negative spells only attracts negative forces in the caster's life. Ergo most of the ones who actually believe in magic tend not to curse people.
He broke his elbow and his grades improved?
He must have a magic elbow!
Seriously? Witches? Isn't this the fucking 21st century?
I witnessed a girl using mouthwash in the bathroom in middle school, and since I didn't know what it was, I assumed she was working with weird blue witchy potions. Since my (only) friend was dyslexic and I had (have) no idea what causes that disorder, I automatically assumed it must be the devil. I continue with this line of thinking on a daily basis in my adult life. If something happens that I don't understand, IT'S FUCKING MAGIC! Like where babies come from. And how flowers grow. And why the neighborhood dogs always growl at me. They're witch's familiars and know I'm righteous so they hate me, especially when I try to get the neighborhood kids to come to my house and 'see the light.'
You are a moron. It wasn't caused by a witch, it was because you were likely raised as a moron by your moron parents.
Unlike your god and witches, moron parents are real.
It's the real tragedy in 21st century America.
ChristsAdvocate, never mind "Bewitched", "Sabrina the Teenage Witch", the "Harry Potter" books or even the likes of "Mahou Tsukai Tai", if you know what's good for you, you'd better not read the manga "xxxHOLiC" by CLAMP:
image
Not for nothing is Yuuko (left) known as 'The Dimensional Witch' (with her transporting Syaoran, Sakura, Fai & Kurogane to various worlds, via the White Mokona in the sister manga "Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle"), but along with her counterpart the ultra-powerful wizard Clow Reed (right; creator of the Clow Cards & Key Staff in "CardCaptor Sakura") they created gods for many worlds.
The Bible is a book of stories (parables). "xxxHOLiC" is a manga story. Coincidence?
'There is no such thing as coincidence in this world. There is only Hitsuzen .' ('Inevitability')
-Yuuko
I don't feel like responding to the actual comment because my responses are typically very long and I just don't feel like it right now (plus, you're all doing a fantastic job anyway), so instead I'm just going to point out something about witches that I find extremely amusing:
From the 17th century to the 20th century, American witch laws went from "You can't do anything that looks like it could possibly be witchcraft, or we'll burn/hang you without any proof!" to "You can do witchcraft on people, but only if it's REAL! If it's fake, you go to jail for fraud!" I think that's 180º WIN.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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