[regarding the story of the bears tearing apart some children who had made fun of Elisha]
54 comments
No, no, no, it was an evil bear. God didn't do it. It was that evil bear. Yeah, that's the ticket.
So that means according to the Bible, making fun of bald people is worse than homosexuality (gays are only supposed to die, not get ripped apart by bears). How come the fundies aren't out picketing about that?
1st & 2nd Edition: Elisha cast Conjure Animals and the conjured bears ate the kids.
3rd Edition: Elisha cast Summon Nature's Ally VI and the conjured bears that ate the kids.
4th Edition: Unfortunately, there are no spells in 4th Edition (yet) that allow a divine spellcaster to conjure bears.
I always thought this was one of the stupidest stories from the Big Book of Stupid. So two bears manage to maul 42 youths, huh? Why didn't 40 of them run away after the bears started in on the first two kids? Or did they just line up and quietly and politely wait their turn to be mauled? Ridiculous!
And, he's probably ashamed of being bald, too.
So, your lord regards that as justice. That is one sick, twisted, criminal lord you have there, chosen one.
@JES:
Well, if God answered Elisha by sending the bears after the children, then it obviously stands to reason that God also made the children stand still for their punishment.
No, actually I wouldn't. I've been called worse by people like you. The only thing I wish is that you would shut your mouths and sometimes think before you say things.
Why do you assume everyone is as violent as you?
You would wish that the ground opened up and swallow the spoiled brats. That was justice in the eyes of the Lord and not murder.
Even though one may wish something like this to happen out of anger, any person with any moral fiber whatsoever would quickly realize that actually sending a bear up to tear the kids to shreds would not be the right thing to do. However, according to the Bible, God actually went ahead and allowed bears to kill some kids that were making fun of Elisha. Might does not make right, and God can't deem some heinous act "just" simply because he is more powerful than everyone else (even if he's more intelligent than us, that wouldn't guarantee that he is more moral than us. Intelligence doesn't necessarily equal morality.)
Ok, I thought we (atheists, agnostics, liberals etc.) were the ones without moral. You know, the point that disturbed me the most about this story, back when I was 14 and read the Bible from start to finish for the first time, was that the "Punished-by-God" in this story are children. Children who were rude, but for fucks sake still children. This was one of the many stories that really scared the shit out of me back then. You want to know why? Because if one of the most important Prophets of the Almighty is just such bastard who does such a vile thing for a minor insult, than what a vile god must he worshipping. Worse, I prayed to the same Entity. Yeah, really fucked up the whole "Religion of Love" shit for me. And you say this was just? Tearing children to parts? I see. You morally bancrupt excuse for a human being, never ever dare to claim that we have no moral! Know them by their fruits, or so it is written in your Holy Book.
Then your god is a douche, and so is your lord for that matter. That is NOT justice, it is out and out murder. And come to think of it, if you think it would be a fitting punishment for a bear to maul a group of kids, or for the ground to open up and swallow them, all for calling someone a name, you are a douche as well.
Then your god is a douche, and so is your lord for that matter. That is NOT justice, it is out and out murder. And come to think of it, if you think it would be a fitting punishment for a bear to maul a group of kids, or for the ground to open up and swallow them, all for calling someone a name, you are a douche as well.
nah, it's cool. don't you wish you had that power..besides, this is God were talking about here. if someone pisses off one of his prohpets, then be prepared to suffer the consequences. Lol
I'd make fun of their pimples, then sue them if they attacked me.
Then beat them with my cane. For shits and giggles.
Beat that.
In my long career of being insulted I've been called a poof, a queer a gayboy and a faggot (actually I'm straight), a weirdo, a loser and a motherfucker (the third one definitely isn't true!) and so on. I've been tempted to punch the idiots saying these things, and have occasionally acted on the impulse, but I've never wanted to see anyone mauled by a wild animal just for ignorant words.
You and your god seem to have what trendy pop-psychology calls Anger Management Issues.
“Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same if a bunch of bratty kids told you you were a bald headed fart.”
“You would wish that the ground opened up and swallow the spoiled brats.”
“That was justice in the eyes of the Lord”
“and not murder.”
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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