Jesus will destroy the planet and the universe anyways, so why bother with conserving it.
67 comments
"That's no messiah, its a space station!
"
Best. StarWars. Paraphrase. Ever.
(except maybe) Jesus Shot First
[Trumpet Sounds]
Jesus: I have retur!... uhh where is everybody?
Robot: They're dead, my Lord.
Jesus: What?
Robot: The last Christians built me to wait for you when the poison rain started falling.
Jesus: So everyone died from pollution?
Robot: No my Lord, some of them survived until the ice age got really bad.
Jesus: There wasn't supposed to be another ice age for another five thousand years.
Robot: It was brought on the the nuclear war, my Lord.
Jesus: What drove the people to do this?
Robot: They thought you were coming soon and it wouldn't matter.
Jesus: I thought We told them I would come when they weren't expecting it. Didn't We put that in that book?
Robot: Yes, my Lord.
Jesus: Damn! No one ever listens.
Since the last 2000 years, every single person who has believed this would happen in his or her lifetime ("this generation, remember?") has been dreadfully wrong, even Jerry Falwell. On what evidence do you believe you're right, then?
Jesus: "Wow, what the crap. What a mess. What happened? Weren't you guys stewarding and guarding this place like Pops said to?"
Kaiba: "But-but-but you're going to wreck it all anyways!"
Jesus: "Yeah. And if I can't expect you guys to take care of a simple wet bumpy rock I'm tossing in the pond again anyway, why do you think I'm going to let you tramp about my own house, tracking mud and smoke everywhere and leaving your toys all over the place? I think Ol' Luse is going to have a riot. I'll have to tell him to fire up his junkyard machines again, 'cause you're going for one HELL of a ride."
You make bunny cry. Bad x-tian! Bad!
And thank goodness I'm on meds or I would be crying too...
*goes to separate coloured glass from clear glass and coated paper from uncoated before taking them out. Just to annoy stupid, world hating, enviroment destroying and short sighted x-tians*
These people are dangerous. People are stupid enough to either believe them word for word, or to use them as justification. If this is really the way they think, then they won't mind me stabbing them in the throat - they'll be back soon.
Who wants to find Scofield's grave, dig up his body, and piss on it?
Seriously. Surely God frowns on shitting in one's nest? Then again, this one would be great for the Middle Ages... imagine what Y1K body odor smelt like...
Assuming you are correct...
He may be a bit pissed that you ruined it before he could.
That and... Your kids are going to die any ways, why do you need to feed them or educate them.
Death cultists have been waiting for this to happen for 2000 years. If it doesn't happen soon, they'll destroy the Earth themselves, just to make sure their prophecy is correct. Personally, I'd prefer my descendants to actually HAVE a planet to live on.
"Jesus will destroy the planet"
Jesus = Shiva?
Well, Hinduism was around way before Christianity existed. You said it, I didn't, kaiba.
@Feminazi
image
Jesus (if he existed) could never handle the recoil from a Barrett M82A1 (especially if it was loaded with Depleted Uranium rounds; those shells need extra propellant, as my nephew* in the East Yorkshire Regiment will attest to that fact). It'd tear his shoulder off.
*- ^That's not him, BTW, just another British Army squaddie with an M82A1. My nephew has ambitions to join the SAS, and he wants to keep his anonymity.
Screw the earth, we have Jesus?
Well, considering his username...
Okay, here goes:
FUCK YOU!
By the same logic -- you are going to die some day. I think we can be a lot more certain of that than whether or not Jesus will return. So why don't you just kill yourself now? Surely, that would be easier than working and having to take care of yourself for the rest of your life.
Or maybe most people enjoy their lives, even knowing that they'll end someday, and try to live as long as they can and enjoy their lives. Some of us figure that it's probably the same for most of humanity and try to make it possible for future generations to be able to live and enjoy life on this planet, even though we know that the Earth will not be able to sustain life forever.
And why are some people so thrilled by the thought of Armageddon? Yay, the world is going to be destroyed and everyone's going to die! Sorry if I can't bring myself to be all that excited by that idea.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.