[Comment on an article entitled 'Why the Bible allows forced sex in marriage']

What women need to realize is that a man that would only use this if it was truly necessary. I know that may sound harsh but it can be done as an act love, done any other way and the man is playing with his wife and with God and that has serious consequences.

I grew up in a small religious sect that believes strongly in male autonomy and headship. One thing that young men were taught early on is to make a woman submit and extract her obedience. The reason we were taught this was because marriages were arranged and girls would often cry from their wedding to weeks down the line, but they didn’t know that we as men weren’t always happy about it either however we were cultivated to suck it up and accept our futures.

I tried to convince her that I wanted to know her and this didn’t have to be a bad thing and I tried to be patient but she wanted nothing to do with me. I did this and it broke her and I regretted it because I thought she wouldn’t recover and would view me as a monster forever, but with the humiliation, hurt pride and hurt feelings a wall came down. I was able to raise her up, show her who I am truly and I got her to show me who she really was and then we became happy.

I’ve never had to use this throughout our marriage because I do understand that sometimes she is tired or not feeling well so I allow her to rest, but if you know your husband and he does this believe me it was probably his last resort.