BAF #fundie

BAF #fundie rr-bb.com

[Re: Death of Osama]

I hope this doesn't sound too cynical but I have the feeling that Satan gave up Osama to help Obama get re-elected. We know Satan has no love for those he uses if he can accomplish a greater evil by sacrificing a pawn he would do so in a heartbeat.

90 comments

old comment by dionysus

I hope this doesn't sound too cynical

Cynical? Nah. There's another 'c' word I'm looking for here to describe it.

I have the feeling that Satan gave up Osama to help Obama get re-elected

If anything Satan made Sarah Palin decide to join the race for President to help Obama get re-elected and you morons are going to vote for her in the primaries just because she's not "One-a dem dere edumacated elitists!" and thinks that Fred Flintstone was a historical figure.

Satan has no love for those he uses if he can accomplish a greater evil by sacrificing a pawn he would do so in a heartbeat.

Wait, Obama is a GREATER evil than Osama? Tell that to the families of the victims of 9/11. Go on, jackass, it'll be the last time you ever speak.

old comment by Horsefeathers

"I hope this doesn't sound too cynical but I have the feeling that Satan gave up Osama to help Obama get re-elected."

Because obviously this cunning plan will thwart your omnipotent god's plan to have some far right wing Teabagger nutjob take the White House come election time and turn the country into a theocracy.

I suggest that instead of coming up with bizarre fantasies such as Satan being behind everything that you don't like that you instead read your Wholly Babble. Particularly Romans where it's clearly pointed out that your god puts governments in place. Which means that Obama is there because your god wants him there and you're not to bitch and whine about it.

"We know Satan has no love for those he uses if he can accomplish a greater evil by sacrificing a pawn he would do so in a heartbeat."

Where's that graphic showing how many people god killed and how many Satan killed in the Wholly Babble? Who's sacrificing pawns now?

old comment by Anon-e-moose

"I hope this doesn't sound too cynical but I have the feeling that Satan gave up Osama to help Obama get re-elected."

Just as God gave your God Emperor of Fucking Up George Dumbya Bush 9/11. Pure coincidence then, that his poll rating previously was at rock bottom.

...not to sound too cynical.

PROTIP: As any Professor of Theology will tell you, the Hebrew 'Elohim' (as Jews refer to him), the Judeo Christian 'God' ('Yahweh', 'YHWH' etc) and Islamic 'Allah' are all one and the same.

"We know Satan has no love for those he uses if he can accomplish a greater evil by sacrificing a pawn he would do so in a heartbeat."

Trans: 'WAAAAHHHHHH! Teh ebil libruhl Obama has succeeded where our previous God Emperor FAILED! A Democrat has proved himself superior to our beloved Repubican idol! Ergo, he - along with all his supporters - are inferior! BAWWWWWWWWW!'

image

So Obama did in just three years what your God Emperor of Fucking Up, Dumbya, couldn't in eight. Deal with it, Ruptured Retards.

old comment by GigaGuess

@Brendan Rizzo
These people live on double standards.

Boy fucks a girl before marriage? Well boys will be boys, and he's just sowing his wild oats. Girl fucks a man before marriage? Evil little harlot!

Non-Christian kills someone? Damned to hell. Christian kills someone? Well surely he was just defending himself from an evil heathen.

Woman gets pregnant? That life is sacred, so you better carry it to term. They/their daughter gets pregnant? Well this is why these clinics have back doors, isn't it?

Two men love each other? Leviticus says it's an abomination. We'll have the meeting to discuss this matter Sunday evening at Red Lobster.

Non-Believer calls them names? What the fuck! Jesus said we are to love each other. Now just ignore the pages of profanity and thinly veiled threats against your health we made.

The world will always be held to a different standard than these people in their eyes.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

@GigaGuess

"@Brendan Rizzo
These people live on double standards."

I've said it before, and it bears repeating: Hypocrisy: It's hardwired into the DNA of Repubicans, Teabaggers, Neocunts - and especially the Religious Right.

...unless you on Ruptured Retards would care to prove me wrong, that is? Start saying Dumbya is the subhuman moron FAIL he always was (to say nothing of Ronnie Raygun; and he was acted off the screen by a chimp! Oh, and start ripping the piss out of Sarah Failin too) - and praise Obama as if he were Lord God Almighty himself. You certainly had no problem doing so when your God Emperor of Fucking Up, George Dumbya Bush, was in the White House.

Your call, RR. If you can, that is.

old comment by Angua

Yeah, this probably will end up helping Obama get re-elected. And yeah, I have some issues with the way this was carried out and feel that at this point Osama bin Laden's death is more symbolic than anything else. And yeah, I can understand that a Republican might be upset that the Democrats are going to use a largely symbolic victory in order to hold onto the white house.

But what the hell does Satan have to do with it? And how the hell is Barack Obama "a greater evil" than Osama bin Laden?

There are plenty of legitimate issues that you could bring up about Osama bin Laden's death. But the Fundies decide to completely ignore these in favor of complete and utter freaking nonsense!

old comment by John

Fundie Beliefs #19 - Satan and Demons

Satan and his demons are just itching to possess good Christians and make bad things happen to them, while ignoring Roman Catholics, atheists and other enemies of God. That’s why fundamentalists often drop out of high school, find themselves stuck in menial, low paying jobs, get caught driving drunk or fighting in bars, end up in jail, get stuck living in a double-wide in Nankipoo, Tennesee and other demon-inspired things.

Satan tests believers by punishing them with stuff like sex, drugs and money; whereas God tests believers by giving them cancer, having their children raped, and destroying whole cities with volcanoes and earthquakes. God does, however, occasionally thwart Satan. For example, suppose a good fundamentalist and an atheist both get their legs blown off in a war. For the believer, it’s obviously a reward: God has stepped in and stopped Satan from killing him. For the atheist, it’s equally obvious that God has let Satan take his legs as a punishment for his disbelief.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

@BArF

"Just know that Satan would sacrifice all of you to create greater evil than you already are."

Ahem...:

image

...and that little matter of Abraham & Isaac ring any bells, BArF, m'boy? Frankly, if he existed, Satan is far more worthy of worship, praise, and respect than your hyper-dictator ('Believe or Burn!') monster of a 'God'.

I've never killed anyone in my life, nor do I want to, ever. I'd hazard a guess that everyone here in FSTDT would say the same too.

Ergo, I - an Atheist - am more than infinitely superior to your 'God'. QED.

'God of Love', eh? (and this was from a late 19th Century magazine/newspaper, which proves how advanced people were, beliefs - or lack of such - were; Mark Twain ring any bells?):

image

Sorry to burst your 'belief' bubble, BArF. [spoiler]No I'm not! >:D [/spoiler]

I guess we now know where Games Workshop got the inspiration for the Chaos God Khorne, eh?

'BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!'

Just look in the Old Testament, and Revelation in the New Testament for proof that your 'God' is actually the God of HATE.

...now, we Atheists are supposed to accept, acknowledge and respect this worse than Cthulhu (and infinitely worse than Hitler) so-called 'deity' of yours... why?

You tell me.

Free offer! God's Unconditional* Love!'

*- Terms and Conditions apply.

@SpukiKitty

"That's nice, BARF...I'm gonna call some nice men in white coats who'll...Be coming to take you away HA HA coming to take you away HO HO...."

(*nostalgia bomb goes off in brain*)

Thanks for bringing back to mind one of my all-time favourite novelty tunes (along with "Monster Mash", "The Streak", the version of "Are You Lonesome Tonight", in which Elvis degenerates into a guffawing mass, and the classic "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park"* by Tom Lehrer), in this case by Napoleon XIV.

...oh, and it seems (just as our own Giveitaday has a little competition, re. FSTDT's position of 'Dogma-destroyer-in-residence', in the shape of TWoozl), there's another 'The Nicknamer' [/Tv Tropes**] emerging, eh? You were in b4 there with 'BARF'! Great minds think alike! ^_^

*- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY

**- http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FSTDT

old comment by Anon-e-moose

Appollogies to Jezebel's Evil Sister, for being the first in coming up with this Raptard's real screename, 'BARF' (and my not realising this). Kudos to you.

So SpukiKitty & yours truly aren't the only 'Nicknamer's here, it seems [Tv Tropes]. Still, the more of such that makes fundies look stupid, so much the better.

And said RR cynic seems to have dropped out of the radar, re. justifying his anti-Obama bullshit further. If he can, that is. Like I say, Obama succeeded in three years where Dumbya failed in eight. Ergo, a Democrat has proved himself superior to the inferior subhuman teabagger, neocunt, Religious Right Repubicans. Q.E.D., bitches.

Deal with it, Ruptured Retards.

And they are all in denial over that fact (as shown in the reaction on RR, and BArF's refusal to debate the matter further).

old comment by Anon-e-moose

On the next page of that tinfoil (ass)hattery thread on Ruptured Retards, one tard called 'SaintTexas' has this in his siggy:

'You hear Osama is dead with no proof of a body and you celebrate... you hear Jesus died and rose with no proof of the body and you speculate?'

My irony meter immediately went into meltdown. PROTIP: SaintTexas & all you Raptards, just one word of advice - at least bin Lardarse actually existed beforehand. Never mind how convenient for you fundies, proof-wise, that your so-called 'Jesus' disappeared after his 'resurrection', where's the physical evidence of his existence beforehand, hmmmmmm?!

DNA & blood samples were taken, post-elimination. Even hardline GOPers in the Repubican Party have seen those photos - and confirmed that it was indeed bin Lardarse that SEAL Team 6 destroyed. Said GOPers are, by definition, God-fearing Christians (after all: name me just one GOPer who is an avowed Atheist? I'm waiting...!).

Are you going to doubt their word? (check one)

[ ] Yes. So who the fuck are you lot going to vote for in 2012, if even your fellow Teabagger, Neocunt, right-wing Fundamentalist Christian politicians are in on the scam, nay, part of the NWO itself?!

[ ] No. Therefore you've not only destroyed your own argument, you've also annihilated every other NWO-, nay, Bible-prediction-related Conspiracy Theory, ergo, you have no justification for your bullshit (ass)hattery in RR; nay the whole raison d'etre of Ruptured Retards as a whole. QED. So you might as well pack up the site, everyone go home and wait for that lovely (C)Rapture next week.

...or not. See you on the 22nd May. >:D

Can the last Raptard please switch off RR's server. Nothing to see here, people.

Choose wisely.

I don't know if you Raptards keep up on current events (ah, but you lot watch Faux News, so if anything, and by definition, you don't!), but the likes of BBC News (especially their radio news, when I heard the breaking news on BBC Radio 5, post-kill) reported that AP received word that no less than Al-Qaeda themselves announced bin Lardarse's death. One question, RR: are Al-Qaeda going to go along with Obama's, nay, no less than the 'NWO''s 'plans'? You tell me.

BAF #fundie rr-bb.com

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