I've got a really cool story that I thought you all might want to hear! A couple of weeks ago, my son's biology teacher was teaching the theory of EVOLUTION!!! image This really surprised me since my son goes to a "Christian" school. What I want to know is how a school that calls itself Christian can believe in something that denies that Jesus is Lord, and that they would even go so far as to try to brainwash their students into believing it too. image Anyway, it didn't work on my son! After class was over, my son came up to the teacher and asked him, "if we evolved from monkeys, how come we can't talk with monkeys?" My son said that his teacher's face turned red with embarrassment, and he had to excuse himself from the room! The teacher had no answer to that question and he knew it! The teacher hasn't talked to my son since, he's still embarrassed that a high school student destroyed his theory! image image image
139 comments
Assuming you didn't pull that story right out of an orifice of yours, I find it certainly more credible, the teacher had to excuse himself out of the room, to find a safe place for laughing about that ignorant little blockhead of your son.
Chimps and gorillas can use sign language, which I doubt you and your idiot son are capable of.
In short, humans and 'monkeys' can talk with one another and at the end of the day, even a monkey who can't sign is still more intelligent than you.
The teacher COULD have argued that monkeys (I'm going to be generous with the OP and use the word interchangeably with "apes") easily learn to understand human languages, learn to talk in sign language, and that humans also can learn simian sounds and body language.
Wow. Where to start? First of all, it's not the teacher's theory. Secondly, this is from someone who thinks every "kind" of animal can fit on a wooden boat and can be rounded up and tended by 8 people. Thirdly, my aunt taught biology for thirty years in a catholic school. When I asked her how they approach evolution she scoffed and said "there's pretty overwhelming evidence of evolution" and they spend a whole semester on it exclusively. With all the pretzel logic that goes on with theology, seems an easy enough reality to squeeze in to your lesson plans.
Um...I hate to break it to you, but how humans and monkeys got here has NOTHING to do with the fact that we can't talk to them like Aquaman. We've taught gorillas and chimps how to "read" simple symbols, and we've taught dolphins how to "speak" to us using special paddles.
Also, is it just me, or do the people on RR still use WAY too many smileys? I can barely even focus on writing a response with those dancing yellow screamers. How can they think--oh wait, that's the POINT.
1. No one believes for a nanosecond your bullshit story actually happened.
2. The question itself is beyond stupid. It's like saying: my ancestors came from Germany why can't I speak german?"
3. It shouldn't be possible but the emoticons make you look even dumber.
"if we evolved from monkeys, how come we can't talk with monkeys?"
If we were made frm dirt, how come we can't talk with dirt?
Why is your face so red?
I bet you're embarrassed that I destroyed your myth.
I reckon the teacher was wishing he'd taken up a different profession.
Like Kamikaze pilot, or pornographer in Iran. Anything would be better than trying to teach a blockhead who comes up with that "argument" against evolution.
"If we evolved from monkeys, how come we can't talk with monkeys?"
Uh, we can (at least, with sign language and lexigrams). Look up Kanzi the bonobo and/or Sue Savage-Rumbaugh on YouTube.
(and yes, I know bonobos are apes, not monkeys, but we didn't "evolve from monkeys" either, so yeah.)
No, he had to leave the room because he didn't want to burst into laughter in front of the student.
Where in the theory of evolution does it deny that Jesus is Lord?
"if we evolved from monkeys, how come we can't talk with monkeys?"
Cause monkeys don't talk. They communicate on a more primitive level than humans, who have developed a vocal language to replace such archiac grunts and squeals. Also, humans evolved from apes, not monkeys. There is a difference. And furthermore, the christian school I went to does not have a problem with subjects that contradict a literal interpretation of the bible (or gay teachers, as an aside note) because they don't see why science and mythology should clash violently like piggish ignorance and ivory tower intellectuality.
It's quite common for children to make up stories like that for the benefit of their parents. They want you to be proud of them and they know how strongly you feel about such issues, so they create a scenario that will get them the response they desire. Clearly your kid got such a response based on your multiple over the top happy smilie faces. So I would suspect that's what happened as the story seems unlikely - Your son repeated a very common misconception that can easily be explained by any but the most ignorant. While the Christian science teacher may not know what he's talking about and just reading from a basic text, (which, btw, isn't reason to jump for joy as it doesn't make your position any less wrong, it just means you're sending your kid to a horrible school) it's more likely that the story just isn't true.
First of all, you can learn about something and not believe in it -in fact, it's rather healthy.
For example, in Economics, we were taught all the various schools of thought...and not told which ones to believe.
Same goes for religion: I remember learning about Ancient Greek, Roman, and Native American religions in Social Studies. I was totally corrupted!
I'm sure the strawman bullshit version of Evolution you've taught to your future burger-flipping child has already been thoroughly trashed so I won't bother.
Lying for Jayzus.
There is no way a highschool biology teacher was teaching kids the theory of evolution.
If OND's son did ask such a boneheaded question, the teacher would have burst out laughing.
If our ancestors immigrated from Germany, France, Ireland, Russia, or Poland, how come we can't speak German, French, Erse Gaelic, Russian, or Polish without being specially taught?
"if we evolved from monkeys, how come we can't talk with monkeys?" My son said that his teacher's face turned red with embarrassment, and he had to excuse himself from the room!"
Further proof this is just a 'story' (as stated right from the start; subconscious honesty, or what?!). If the above scenario had actually come to pass, then said teacher would have probably answered 'Washoe the chimpanzee. Whose own sign-language skills were so advanced, she even taught such to her own offspring. '
That, and Kanzi the Bonobo completely annihilates whatever these Raptards 'believe'. And that's before I mention Kitzmiller vs. Dover.
"My son said that his teacher's face turned red with embarrassment, and he had to excuse himself from the room!"
He's probably embarrassed that he couldn't get through to your dolt of a child.
Everyone who as read the Discworld series knows that humans and apes (do not use the M-word) can communicate just fine.
That teacher is probably embarrassed that one of his students could be that stupid as to think that Dr. Doolittle was a documentary about evolution. And every time the teacher looks at your son it only reminds him that some kids are impossible to teach because of how dumb their parents have made them. I'll show you how easy it is to debunk this BS:
if we evolved from monkeys, how come we can't talk with monkeys?
If you share an ancestry with Europeans why can't you speak ancient Greek?
"After class was over, my son came up to the teacher and asked him, 'if we evolved from monkeys, how come we can't talk with monkeys?'"
Your son is an idiot. We evolved from--and still are --apes, not monkeys.
"My son said that his teacher's face turned red with embarrassment, and he had to excuse himself from the room!"
Probably to avoid telling your son he's a fucking moron.
"The teacher hasn't talked to my son since, he's still embarrassed that a high school student destroyed his theory!"
He's embarrassed for your kid; he wasn't embarrassed by your kid. There's a subtle difference there.
Ook ook , *waves banana* ook oook
I have just disproved your sons idea.
Perhaps if he had paid more attention in class ?
"if we evolved from monkeys, how come we can't talk with monkeys?"
We didn't evolve from monkeys; humans and monkeys evolved from a common ancestor which was neither a modern human nor a modern monkey. The kid's question was like asking "if Portuguese and Romanian evolved from Latin, how come Portuguese can't all speak Romanian?"
His face probably turned red with annoyance and he left the room because he didn't want to waste time getting into a debate with some little fundamentalist fool who obviously doesn't know spit about evolution and wasn't listening in class.
Everything I was going to write here was pretty much said by Titania in the first post.
I would like to add that OND's boy used a variation one of the oldest and weakest arguments out there.
Also... Koko the gorilla.
There is nothing in the theory of evolution that denies Jesus is Lord, that's just your persecution complex. Also, humans didn't evolve from monkeys, we share a common ancestor with them. Even if your story is true, just because your son frustrated a teacher with his unbelievable ignorance doesn't mean that the theory of evolution isn't true.
Here's a question for you, if Christianity is real, then why can't we talk to snakes? It seems I've just destroyed your bogus religion! :)
But we can! There's this guy named Dr. Dolittle, and he talks to them all the time!
What? Your myth is older than my myth, so yours is true and mine isn't?
If JehovamaGod made men out of dirt, how come we don't go down the drain in the shower?
Cool, your son has Charles Darwin as a teacher? But, wait, hasn't Darwin been dead for over a century?
Evolution doesn't deny that Jesus is Lord, any more than Photosynthesis does.
So, your son is aping after his parents' deluded misinformations. Does it feel good to have crippled him mentally, harmed his chances of higher education?
Your son's teacher was probably so shocked that someone could be that deluded and ignorant, that he didn't know what to say. He probably recognizes that your son is beyond help; no use giving him the benefit of his education and intelligence, when you're going to go right ahead and delude him down to your level again.
Ha ha, your nickname means EVIL in Swedish. Wait, my budding Poe sense is tingling...
Oh you fucking RETARD. That's wrong on so many levels. Not the least of which being, languages ARE NOT GENETIC!!
This is even worse than the "why are there still monkeys?" apologetic. It's the apologetic equivalent of "man door hand hook car door."
To my knowledge, no species, other than humans, have employed tacky emoticons as a method of communication.
Roger Fouts would like a word with you... On second thought, he'll not waste his time, and he'll go back to talking with Dar, Tatu and Loulis.
1. It's not 'his' theory. It's a scientific theory based on evidence.
2.Your son is not very smart if he thinks that was an 'intelligent' question that somehow destroys evolution.I can't understand Italian, so does that make me not human/related to Italians? See how stupid that is?
3. Evolution doesn't have anything to do with a deity. But neither does math, english,sceince, or anything else kids should learn in school. Every school should and needs to teach it.It has nothing to do with your theology. If you can't reconcile science with your religion then that's your problem.
Even if the story was true and that the teacher left because he couldn't answer the question, I don't know why you're happy that your kid's teacher is dumber than your kid.
And even if your son was right, a teacher turning red and running from students for not knowing the answers to their questions is one of the worst teachers alive
Who wants to be that the kid is actually an atheist who just humors their insane mother and gives her these stories to get rewards? When that kid is 18 and leaves the house, he'll leave all the jebuz bullshit behind and never talk to his insane mother again. And that will, somehow, be the gays' fault.
I too would turn red. But not from embarrassment. Rather it would be because I was infuriated by the temerity of a little indoctrinated ignoramus questioning my scientific knowledged, earned through study of science, not Middle Eastern mythology. And yes, I would have left the room for fear of beating some sense into the little git. Corporal punishment is self-defeating anyway.
Why don't you take your son from this school and home-skool him instead. That way you could be sure that his brainwashing - oops, I meanindoctrination - remains pristine and unimpaired.
Or he was just really mad and didn't want to lose it on a dumb kid. A lot of humans can't even communicate with other humans because they don't know the same language, hell there's no talking to some people even when there's no language barrier.
And yes, you can talk with certain apes using sign language.
This is quite a common trope in fundie-land, the Child Wiser Than His Teachers. You can see it in that Chick tract.
I'm really glad that there seem to be a bunch of people in that thread who are providing good rebuttles to this person. One guy even suggested the teacher probably thought the student was joking and chose to ignore it and others are showing an amazing level of knowledge of Evolution for Rapture Ready...
..It's a shame they're all probably about to be banned for 'promoting atheist propaganda'. :\
How do the American teachers do it?
During economic downturn, their jobs are one of the first in the public sector to be cut. (130,000 teaching jobs were cut in the U.S. the past 12 months alone)
Their unions are universally vilified by the media if not outright banned in some states. (Texas and Virginia comes to mind)
The teachers can easily lose their jobs whenever one of these children (and/or their parents) throws a big enough tantrum. In some this 'tantrum' could actually escalate into the kid bringing an all too easily accessible gun to school and start shooting. (The U.S. leads the world in number of school shootings)
Furthermore, their jobs aren't even that rewarding considering the sheer number of brats like OND's kid who pride themselves in their stupidity, many whose parents actively encourage and perpetuate this ignorance.
Worst of all, these teachers have to educate these ignoramuses so that they somehow pass the state mandated standardized tests because their names and the scores of their students will be made public for all to see.
Seriously, the average American school teacher must be well on his/her way to becoming a Nietzschean Overman, achieving Nirvana or ending up in a padded cell.
No, he's embarrassed that he's such a poor teacher that a high school student could ask such a stupid question.
Then again, seeing how dumb his parents seem to be, I'm not that surprised.
Are you sure he wasn't just fighting back the laughter and won't talk to your kid because he knows you've turned them into a moron, and are therefore pointless to try and convince otherwise?
Mostly, I bet he didn't answer because the question is nonsensical.
Assuming the whole story isn't a fabrication; the teacher is probably under an injunction against directly challenging the beliefs of his poor students. Or he might be as big a dolt as "OND". A good teacher, unfettered by the need to protect the fragile egos of kids raised by idiots, would have said something like "humans didn't evolve from monkeys, we evolved from more primitive apes". Then he would have given the kid an assignment to describe the differences between monkeys and apes or receive an "F" for the class.
If you read further on in the thread, it actually gives me hope for this kid...the parent asked the teacher about it, and said he believes in macroevolution, and that "Genesis 1 is not written as history."
The mother, of course, did not like this answer.
Also, another poster mentioned "How is this kid going to survive in the real world if he doesn't understand it?" Best. Response to this Women. Ever.
@ navelgazer
"I'm the poster boy of underachievement."____G. W. Bush
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@#1424609
Pervert!
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@Rubber chicken
Happened in the '50s, I was there. And Sister Mary Hitler damn sure cracked me some knuckles with that damned pointer, too.
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@K T
Do you think the poster is lying or do you think her son lied to her about what happened in school?
Also, it's pointless to refute this but I'll do it just to make myself feel better. Just because I am descended from black people doesn't mean that I can speak Swahili or any modern African language. Given the difference the amount of time that has passed since the ancestors of any given two people who don't currently share a language shared a common language, compared to the amount of time between when a monkey and I shared an ancestor with a common language, I would say that our ability to communicate with monkeys is a bit better than you would expect. Hell we can communicate pretty well with dogs and our ancestors haven't shared a common ancestor since long before monkeys.
@D Laurier:
Er, I learned quite a bit about evolution & biology in high school. In a small redneck town within a primarily fundie-Christian Southern state, no less.
Let's see what Kanzi, a bonobo that others have mentioned, thinks of this story.
image
I'm sorry, he's too busy tapping out sentences on a tablet PC. But good try at writing creationist fan-fic.
Kanzi will probably never be writing sonnets, but he likes cooking onions over a campfire, making stone tools, watching rugby, and playing catch and Pacman. Or at least that's what Kanzi tells us - he could be lying.
On a related matter: Kanzi's two-year-old son Teco is an interesting kid; he acts a lot differently from other young residents of the Great Ape Trust. There's a suggestion he may be on something akin to the human autism spectrum. Alternatively, we may simply be seeing a very strong environmental effect - Teco is a third-generation resident of the Trust. Kanzi learned language as an infant, but his mother Matata has never become particularly conversant. But Teco is growing up in an environment where many of the older bonobos around him already use language. It's a different culture.
@mememememememe:
I remember reading about Koko, and the thing that impressed me the most was her ability to lie.If that's not higher reasoning and abstract thinking, I don't know what is. Not especially clever lies, I'll admit, but she could definitely fool this moron and his son.
@Anon
I'm just surprised that a company like, say, Archos hasn't approached the Trust with a promotion deal: Kanzi demonstrates their latest Android tablet ('If a monkey can use our computers, so can you !'); with product awareness for Archos, and donations to the Trust (with, a percentage on each tablet sold going to them).
I forgot about the lies. I remember Koko alerting the keepers to 'bugs' in the cat's ears.
Seriously animals, especially primates, are FAR more intelligent and capable than we give them credit for.
Now I wanna relive a moment of childhood and read Koko books again!
@Anon-e-moose :
It might be a good idea. The Trust is having some funding problems right now.
They did have a Kickstarter project for an app to allow users to chat with the bonobos over the internet, but that didn't get the couple tens of thousands of dollars that they needed to pay a student to write and debug the code.
Well, it's like this; you know that moment when someone says something so terrifyingly stupid to you that the only sane or possible response is either a blank stare or hysterical laughter, all while your brain cells are desperately scrambling around screaming 'DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT SHIT????????'
No? I bet your son's teacher knows, though!
My son said that his teacher's face turned red with embarrassment, and had to excuse himself from the room!"
I've had to excuse myself from a room/area because of comments that nearly made me choke to death laughing. I think that's what the teacher did. Smart move or junior would be upset, you'd sue the school,etc. Or did your son want a big hug from mommy and decide to view it a bit differently on his way home to be a mini hero to you? I suggest you pull him out of school and send him to public school. Let him ask his questions there. LMAO! How the hell he destroyed the teacher's theory is beyond me.
btw...you rr posters use the shrieking icon way too much. Can god not give you the intelligence to come up with something different to relay your feeling to us heathens? Right now I laugh at it and have a tendency to snort at the posters opinions. Excellent way to spread The Word as you would say.
Cool story bro.
My favorite part is it isn't even the old "how come there are still monkeys" argument. It's "how come we can't talk to monkeys."
Maybe because we don't live in fucking Dr. Doolittle land where animals are all secretly anthropomorphic and speak in code to each other.
He probably left the room and hasn't spoken to your son since because your mouth-breathing bible-larvae is a constant living reminder that the teacher failed as an educator. It's his job to bring knowledge to his students, and your spawnling regurgitated the same Stone Age fear-drivel you hammered into his head his entire life. The teacher probably feels like such a failure for not being able to penetrate the wall of moron you built around your kid.
A side note; the word "ond" in Swedish means "evil".
Your son's Math teacher was teaching Algebra at about the same time. Algebra has about as much to do with who is Lord as ToE does.
Your son's teacher probably had to excuse himself from the room in order not to laugh in the face of a poor deluded kid. The teacher also seems to have realized that there is no point trying to teach your son anything worthwhile, as you will be undoing it afterwards. Hope your son likes putting stuff in bags...
It's not the teacher's theory, stupid. It's a generally accepted fact.
Evolution is fact, so any school not teaching fantasy-only will be teaching it. Evolution is "adaptation of lifeforms to a changing environment, through random mutation and natural selection". Where is the denial of Jesus in any way, shape or form? They also "brainwash" the students into believing in the much weaker gravity, and photosynthesis, algebra, periodic system, financial studies, geography, history, etc.
Your son is too stupid to accept reality? If a lot of Americans have ancestors with origin in Sweden, how come they can't talk Swedish?
Again, your son was too stupid to accept reality, and the teacher simply didn't know what to do with a dense, inbred, brainwashed kid like that. It's a lose-lose, not any kind of win, dearie.
As someone said above, OND in Swedish means "evil" or "mad". Have fun in Hell!
Christian school?
"Why, have you forgotten about the Tower of Babel incident that totally happened? I'm writing you up for Sunday School refresher you little Heathen. Apparently your mothers failing to do the preacher job, disgraceful."
"... he's still embarrassed that a high school student destroyed his theory!"
Um.... Riiiiiiight. You gotta figure that a teacher who is teaching evolutionary theory in a Christain private school would be prepared for one or another goddamned stupid question like that, wouldn't you?
"Dude, there are people in New York that you can't communicate with, and they're the same species as you. Why are you surprised we can't talk to another species?"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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