There was an atheist man from, Russia I believe, and him and a few other ppl he knew were the only ones who still spoke an ancient Galilean language and were trying to keep it going. For some reason, I forget, he went to church, not wanting to be there. During the altar call a 12 year old girl went up to him and started to pray over him in the Galilean language that no other adult would know let alone a child. Not only that but she read his mail, she knew things only God would know and God spoke to him through her. Needless to say, he repented, was baptized and received the Holy Ghost! lol
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And the other day I saw a unicorn riding a dinosaur. What? you dont believe my ludicrous, completely unproven stories? Your just persecuting me because I'm presenting objective, unbiased evidence that my church of a unicorn riding a dinosaur is the right one.
The Nameless Namekian gave me a dream, he told me that if I spread his word, he'll take me to his world that he made with the Namekian Dragon Balls and give me a harem of girls that are all perfectly matched to my desires! I then woke up and I saw him flying away, I could tell by his Turban and Cape!
Why the heck would there be a bunch of atheists who alone know a language and want to suppress it?
What's the point of learning a language you're trying to undermine?
The very basics of this farce are so completely stupid that anyone who actually believes it has to be deranged.
The atheists weren't trying to suppress anything, they were trying to keep it going. This atheist just didn't want to be in church. Read the entirely anecdotal evidence more carefully next time. Apparently the young girl read his mail, though. I'm not sure what significance that has.
"There was an atheist man from, Russia I believe, and him and a few other ppl he knew were the only ones who still spoke an ancient Galilean language and were trying to keep it going. For some reason, I forget, he went to church, not wanting to be there."
You really suck at telling stories.
Anyone reminded of the nerdy kids in high school that claimed to have a girlfriend "who lives in Canada"?
Yeah, that's what this BS sounds like...
hmm..proof? There was this "atheist man from, Russia you beleive"? Please produce full name and place of residence so we may check up on your facts. Please provide name of the church and the name of the little girl who was a conduit for all of this supernatural activity. You arent even specific on the dialect that these 2 could speak.
Otherwise you are making shit up, and leaving out specific information just screams "LIE" to me. The only thing you seem certain of is that these supposed supernatural events where sourced through the god YOU worship.
If you've spent any length of time in different fundie churches (or been part of the ones that always have itinerant staff) you'll have heard this BS story time and time again, just a different location, a different language. And it always happened to someone they supposedly knew personally.
I'm sure there's a book out there called "Lame sermon anecdotes for dummies"...
There once was an atheist from Russia
In Russia, mail reads YOU!
She read his mail? Could this possibly be how she "knew things only God would know"? Otherwise this detail proves nothing but that she could read in whatever language the mail was in (presumably Russian, NMS believes).
@Secret Squirrel: Somehow I've managed not to hear this one or a variation, but then with my dad as pastor most of the time I spent in church that kind of explains it.
"I'm sure there's a book out there called "Lame sermon anecdotes for dummies"..."
Oh yes, multiples of them. I don't think any pastor that's been around a while is immune from purchasing/receiving a copy of at least one of them.
Why the fuck did you end that with "LOL"?
I'm sure twenty people have already chimed witty on your "reading his mail" typo and your obvious urban legend, so I'll just leave at it that: LOL? You're crazy.
EDIT: Ninjas!
Ok, why is a Russian atheist trying to keep a "Galilean" language going? Honestly. "Comrades, I'm totally atheist, but Aramaic is so blyadski AWESOME!" No, it doesn't wash. "LOL."
Who else thinks he meant Galician not Galilean?
The whole thread is gold, BTW. It's full of similar conversion stories except for the one where the heathen (who's in a prayer group, for some reason) decides the whole thing is BS and rejects the holy spirit.
That one's my favourite
"If you've spent any length of time in different fundie churches (or been part of the ones that always have itinerant staff) you'll have heard this BS story time and time again, just a different location, a different language. And it always happened to someone they supposedly knew personally." -- Secret Squirrel
In other words, it's a Fundie urban legend.
Didn't know anyone in Russia ever spoke "Galilean", which according to google either relates to Galileo and his methods, or means "an inhabitant of Galilee, which further research shows to be a region in northern Israel. Therefore, you lie.
Actually, there are Christians in Syria(and a handful of Muslim, for that matter)that speak ARAMAIC, you know, Jesus´s mother tongue. That´s what makes me think that you´re making this story up.
Don't know the names, don't know the country, don't know the language, don't know the reason.
Inconsistencies of the story. Offered by Camai, your favourite soap Brand
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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