Whenever someone says "Jesus Christ" I always respond, quickly, with something like "I know Him...did you need to talk to Him? I can show you how..." Or I will say, "Praise God! Another Christian is on tonight! Isn't Jesus Christ the best? I mean, how cool is it that He died for our sins and rose again?" It usually stops people for saying it again because they feel guilty.
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I just started saying it, because I saw people using it as a curse, so I started using it as a curse, just force of habit, really.
So, in a sense, the only way I understood that person was as a curse, not as a savior, ironic, isn't it ?
Say that to me and I'd start adding expletives to my expletive.
As in:
"Jesus Christ!"
"Yeah! Isn't Jesus Great, he died for our sins and all?"
=>
"Jesus F*cking Christ on a Lamppost!"
Strong emphasis on the second word.
"Whenever someone says "Jesus Christ" I always respond, quickly, with something like "I know Him...did you need to talk to Him? I can show you how...""
At which point I'd laugh at you in a less than polite way.
"Or I will say, "Praise God! Another Christian is on tonight! Isn't Jesus Christ the best? I mean, how cool is it that He died for our sins and rose again?""
To which I'd reply in a snide, condescending way: "Prove it."
"It usually stops people for saying it again because they feel guilty."
Apparently you've never met me before.
@Christianwhitenation.name
The name of thy lord is Yahweh (or the Hebrew for YHWH). It has been anglicized as Jehovah.
Saying goddamn it is not using the lord's name in vain because god is simply a title, not a name.
Oh, and nice racist handle by the way.
@ Christianwhitenation.name
You do realise that what you've quoted is all about breaking an oath made in the name of YHWH, rather than using an anglisised version of a title as some form of expletive... don't you?
Please tell me you didn't think it was just about "Don't use my title as a swear word!"
And if I say something like...
"Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick"
Or
"Christ on a bike"?
What will be your "cute" little retort then?
I can kinda relate. When I'm at work, and the pace gets frenetic, and someone says "how am I supposed to.." I always chime in by singing their question back to them in the style of that cheesy song "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You".
It usually stops people for saying it again around me because they think I'm a fruit loop.
There. Fixed.
He should try wearing an inner tube on his head and carrying a bazooka. Then they won't even make eye contact, much less say anything.
I wish I knew this person, or at least met him. Then if he tried it, I could say 'Don't like that one? I have more: How about "FUCK YOU, BITCH!"'
Sorry about that, they just make me angry when they don't make me laugh...
Usually, when I get to the point that I'm so angry that I really start cussing and some bonehead like you starts yammering about really inane BS, my fist and your mouth will quickly make themselves acquainted.
Christianwhitenation.name: "God does'nt hate you!Whatever happened to you was not HisFault.He still loves you!"
Trying to pull out the "Atheists are angry at God for random tragedy X" card, are we?
Anyway, in response to Guy4God trying to strongarm people into not using the phrase "Jesus Christ" as an expression of exasperation:
Holy Salt and Peppered Full-leather bondage Night of the Living Dead AK-47 wielding snake-handling gay-punching kidney-shanking blood-drinking Manjew Baby Jesus Christ on a July afternoon!
Christianwhitenation.name said:
" I think God Jesus wants someone here to know he loves you,just turn around. "
Ok I did. All I see is a pic of a bunch of bikers mooning the camera.
Hence why I say "Jeepers cripes". =3 It's a close, clever wordplay that can't be objected to, unless you're deranged. Seriously, even my mother doesn't mind it.
That seriously made me laugh... If they actually did stop it I'm sure they'd just want this wacko to shut up or they were too busy snickering to themselves.
Instead of 'Jesus' I'd just start saying 'fuck.' A lot.
Jesus wants someone here to know that he loves you.............sorry Christianwhitenation, the person is not you. And by the way, don't pity us for being mocked. We don't care what fundies think of us. And neither does the world, for that matter.
Whenever someone says "Crom!" I always respond, mirthless, with somehing like "there is no use in invoking His name, the only help from Him is the strength He granted you at birth" then go back to drowning my sorrows. It usually stops people from saying it again because they decide to act against their misfortune.
No... they stop because they think you're crazy...
Er... correction... they know you're crazy, and don't want to risk the chance of you having a gun or an explosive.
Psittacosis wrote:
"WTF does 'he died for our sins' mean?"
Well, if you really don't know:
According to Christian theology, every single person born is a dirty rotten sinner because adam and eve ate a piece of fruit once. God doesn't allow dirty rotten sinners into heaven after they die, so they get stuck going to hell instead. (Why an allegedly omnipotent God CAN'T allow sinners into heaven, or can't make some place for them to go that isn't as nasty as hell, isn't addressed.) This consignment to eternal torment is punishment for being a dirty rotten sinner, which you are because of something your great-great-great-...-great-gransparents did. This is called "justice."
However, God's version of justice also allows for this punishment to be transferred to someone else, provided the someone else is God's son. In order to accomplish this, though, God had to punish his son as though his son were a sinner, even though he wasn't. Said punishment consisted of a painful death by crucifixion and a few days in hell, afterwhich his son came back to life and ascended into heaven. This supposedly counts as punishment enough to offset the eternity in hell that all sinners (i.e. all people descended from Adam and Eve) deserve. God's son could be said to have died "for" the sins of others, ya see.
BUT, this magical escape-clause from eternal torment ONLY works if you believe it. And you'd better start believing it, or face the wrath of Blaise Pascal!
Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick.
Usually I just give people weird looks, but it looks like I need to start making better comeback lines.
...or I can use my fist. That's always an option. A foot to the crotch ain't a bad idea either.
Then I slam a Sermon on the Mountain Dew and give them the peace sign! The only board I need is faith, bros!
Kind of a Poochie, but harmless. Just gratingly passive-dependent.
wow, so when did you see him last.
goddamit, you know go to. that fucker owes me quite a bit of money. horrible bluffer and throws a fit whenever he doesnt get his way.
dont play pooker with him or...
oh no.... im bleeding.. runs away iwht his cash..
of course he is good at frat parties though. the entire water to beer trick is awesome..
so jesus butt fucking christ.
Why does this remind me of
"I know you are, but what am I?" and
"Sticks and stones may break my bones.."
Maybe because only a fucking retard would think it was intelligent.
"Whenever someone says "Jesus Christ" I always respond, quickly, with something like "I know Him" "how cool is it that He died for our sins and rose again?" It usually stops people for saying it again because they feel guilty."
When I accidentally hurt myself, I say 'Jesus CUNTING Christ!'. What would you say to that?
Now piss off, and take your motherfucking Jesus with you.
It stops people from saying it again because their eyes glaze over and they wander away to find somebody else to talk to.
But what do you mean, another Christian is "on" tonight? On line? Oh, you mean you don't have any REAL friends? That's because you are a real bore about your imaginary one.
“Whenever someone says "Jesus Christ" I always respond, quickly, with something like "I know Him...did you need to talk to Him? I can show you how..."”
I would say it was an invocation, not an invitation.
that’s what i said when someone at the supermarket tried to shame me.
I dumped half my groceries and she said, “God’s last name is not Dammit!”
I was cursing the mess, not praying to your skybuddy. Learn to read the room.
“Or I will say, "Praise God! Another Christian is on tonight! Isn't Jesus Christ the best? I mean, how cool is it that He died for our sins and rose again?" It usually stops people for saying it again because they feel guilty.”
I don’t feel guilty for swearing in the manner my culture swears. It’s an immersive response. If Christains didn’t swear to their skydaddy, no one else would.
I will look you right in your self-congratulating eye and say, “God fucking damn this shit to the hell that doesn’t exist.” And you will….?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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