So everything was great and blissful with my new discovery until, until I started to realize that the feminists would be opposed to my dream of me having a traditional family and that it would be hard for me to find a woman who didn’t want to work during her marriage with me. This is when my anti-feminism began in earnest. Very quickly my belief in patriarchy was no longer really about getting a woman at all and it was instead a kind of Holy Crusade to destroy feminism. Feminism was the great enemy lurking behind every bush and poisoning the minds of all the women around me and endlessly trying to threaten me and bully me to try to get me to become evil like them.

It is funny, why was it that I never experienced the fantasy of “taking care of” a woman until my mid-20s? I had definitely fallen in love before that time multiple times and I do remember feeling strongly protective towards women I was attracted to occasionally and seeking to be “controlling” at times and I did give women gifts a few times but it wasn’t until the point of my conversion to patriarchy that I actually had a full blown fantasy of “taking care of” a woman financially 100% like how the traditional family model worked. Looking back I am sure this was because I somehow knew or felt that it was “forbidden” and “shameful” for me to actually fantasize about and idealize taking care of a woman. That the very thought of “taking care of a woman” was repulsive and disgusting according to the feminist cultural messages that had been drummed into me my whole life. I think by the time I had reached my mid-20s I just didn’t really care anymore about the stigma I would face in wanting to “take care of a woman” because I was already being rejected by women anyways so it wasn’t like my situation would get any worse by trying something new.

So, I felt the forbidden feeling of wanting to take care of a woman and I had the forbidden thought that taking care of a woman was actually a morally good thing to do; that being the end of my time as a feminist man.

What happened next was that women rejected me because I was now pro-patriarchy and therefore “sexist” and an “oppressor” and things like that but after my conversion to patriarchy I experienced this rejection in a totally different way. After my conversion to patriarchy I experienced women’s rejection of me as proof of my heroism and good moral character and that I was standing up for what was right and that the feminist women were wrong. The feminist women were wrong because they wanted me to return to the man I was before who was rejected and hated by women for my weakness and who was immoral and selfish because I wasn’t giving to women what women needed from me and deserved from me as a man. I responded to women rejecting me romantically by turning my mind towards politics and the great crusade against feminism thinking if I couldn’t serve women through a personal relationship with a woman I could serve women through the political means of making the culture overall more friendly and supportive of women’s needs by making the culture overall patriarchal instead of feminist.