Glad you asked! I am "expecting" the Rapture sometime in the early spring, and the beginning of the time of Jacob's trouble right after, around the middle to end of May. That's my "wish list", let's see what, if anything, happens. But since it is the 70th anniversary of Israel back in the land, SOMETHING has to happen. "And give him no rest, till he establish, and till he make Jerusalem a praise in the earth." Isaiah 62:7 (KJV)
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In the late 40s the allied nations decided to roll over beleaguered Arabs to give Jews a state, a forced state. They did this because Christians accepted a flawed premise. A fable, a fucking stupid fable as valid as Magic Beans Sky-castles. FOR FUCKS SAKES!
Now the same deluded assholes want to complete this with the end-times fables.
I'm up for the Bible Belts scorched Earth fantasy, THEIR scorched Earth.
And they say were trying but week after week, with their maniac as president and their claims of deep South Christian values,,, Notice where the shits STILL hitting the fan?
I am "expecting" the Rapture sometime in the early spring, and the beginning of the time of Jacob's trouble right after, around the middle to end of May
...of 2018 , I presume. So you lived under a stone during 2011: especially the months of May & October that year? You obviously have no concept of the name 'Harold Camping'.
I suggest you enter Heaven via this Jacob's Ladder:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv-6YgbDoyI *
Powered by a 'Fart'. Not the one you probably worship, but an Italian-made neon transformer utilised by Big Clive: a huge Scotsman on the Isle of Man. Or from fellow Brit Photonicinduction:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jzy_bPnt1_A
As he's essentially a Mad Scientist for real : 'Infernal Machines' and all, he's your best bet. Just grab hold of the two rails of his 'Jacob's Ladder'.
As even when he 'Fucks About', he doesn't fuck about. All I'll say is, Nikola Tesla would be proud.
You won't be needing that 125 kV-charred corpse 'Left Behind' where you're going anyway, amirite Jeffrey (Archer) Grindr...?! >:D
*- As shown in his video on YouTube, Big Clive owns the pinball machines "Centaur" and "Haunted House". His argument is extremely valid.
I am "expecting" the Rapture sometime in the early spring, and the beginning of the time of Jacob's trouble right after, around the middle to end of May.
Well, if you'll send me $5000 now, I'll use it to travel to wherever you live and secure your property so it's not trashed by sinners. I'll also take care of any pets or loved ones that are left behind. This is a limited time offer, though, so respond before the end of January.
But since it is the 70th anniversary of Israel back in the land, SOMETHING has to happen.
No, it doesn't. The rest of the world will just go on without paying any attention to you or your sad fantasies.
Did you expect the Rapture to happen in spring last year, too, Jeffy-poo?
You wish for troubles to happen? You're a horrible, horrible person. Have fun in Hell with the rest of us.
That SOMETHING might just be a YUGE anniversary party in Israel.
Make Jerusalem a praise IN the Earth? What does that mean?
Wishful thinking does not make it true. You had people probably 30 years ago who were determined that the rapture was imminent back then, it just HAD to happen! Or look at the idiots who followed Harold Camping a few years back, claiming that the rapture was definitely going to happen in 2011. 20 years from now you'll still have idiots sitting around believing that the rapture is going to happen "any minute now" but life will still go on and no great woosh up into the sky.
And I'm expecting to get superpowers when I wake up any day now. ...for the last decade. And that's probably a lot more likely to happen.
What? Look at Marvel or DC. According to them, the chances of getting superpowers are bigger than being hit by lightning.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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