Dear friends,
Now that California has kicked up a foul same-sex marriage stink so rank that it’s attracting maggots from all over the world - you two are caterwauling like a tree full of howler monkeys about getting “married” to your own filthy partners in shame. Well, now, if it’s so wonderful, why are you two hiding the time, date and place of those glorious affairs from Westboro Baptist Church? You are glorying in your shame. Phil. 3:19. God has given you a bully pulpit and a bullhorn by virtue of your celebrity status; but rather than use it to spread a little truth and decency for young America - you are doing the opposite, spreading Satan’s filthy fag lies and immorality. You are bound, irreversibly, for Hell. WBC wants to use your farcical, unholy “weddings” to counteract your lies with a little Gospel truth. We plan to picket you! Please tell us the date, time, and place of your blasphemous affairs.
96 comments
"Well, now, if it’s so wonderful, why are you two hiding the time, date and place of those glorious affairs from Westboro Baptist Church?"
Why are they not telling anyone where and when they are getting married?
"WBC wants to use your farcical, unholy “weddings” to counteract your lies with a little Gospel truth. We plan to picket you!"
That's why. They want their wedding to involve their family and friends, not a bunch of religious zealots.
What they should do is go through the motions of having their wedding at some public location..a park or something...let WBC know where it is...then have the wedding somewhere else.
Yeah... I'm sure they want to have some disgustingly hateful fuckers showing up at their wedding.
I'm sure you'd really want the same to happen to you if you get married, wouldn't you?
Its amazing. This guy claims to be Christian and yet here he is referring to people as "maggots" and "filthy". What a role model. I'm sure all aspiring Christians want to be just as ignorant and bigoted as you. What happened to "turn the other cheek" and "love thy enemy". Arent these the things Jesus taught? As far as I can see, your cheek isnt in the least bit turned and your comments are filled with hatred. Typical Christian I suppose, the "rules" dont apply to them when their doing it "in Jesus name".
"You are bound, irreversibly, for Hell"
Even your Bible disagrees with that. Go take a closer look at it.
"We plan to picket you!"
This isnt about "Gods will" at all is it? This is about Earthly revenge, for you own twisted satisfaction.
Why ask them to tell you the date, time and place of their wedding? If you are just carrying out god's will and are so much holier than everyone else as you claim, the Holy Spook should provide you with that information.
You fuckers answered your own question just by saying that. Nobody wants a bunch of hateful fuckers disrupting what is supposed to be among the happiest days of their lives by telling them they are dirty evil people who are bound to Hell.
Bleed into a lake full of starving pirahnas and die, you mindlessly hateful oxygen wasters.
O NOES!
You people bore me.
/Well, now, if it’s so wonderful, why are you two hiding the time, date and place of those glorious affairs from Westboro Baptist Church?/
Maybe because they don't want your noses poking into their business? Maybe because they don't want you to camp outside with hateful signs that say, "God Hates Homosexuals?" Maybe they want their ceremonies to be peaceful, joyous, and uninterrupted by your jarring jeers and boos? Do you tell the whole world when and where you get married? So why should they? Nosy busybodies.
Are you stupid enough to think they'd give you the information so you can picket their wedding? Besides, if you did picket, what would that accomplish? Do you think they're just going to say, "Oh, okay, I won't be gay anymore. You win!" That is cruel, and no one should be as hateful and bigoted as this.
Well, now, if it’s so wonderful, why are you two hiding the time, date and place of those glorious affairs from Westboro Baptist Church?
Same reason you'd hide the time, date and place from your drunken skinhead half-cousin Bubba and his Rottweiler.
Aethernaut said
"Goddamn, I've never seen bigger closet-cases than the members of WBC! If my partner and I ever head out to Cali to get married I'll be sure to invite them... right after I hire a sniper."
Canadeist said
"send 'em a location and date of a Mafia wedding someone"
I love both plans.
My idea is, after fred is dead, several huge marching bands surround his funeral and play broadway show tunes, followed by the entire works of Elton John.
Beltaine, that sounds like fun, one alteration though. Have a mock wedding at the location they were told to come to. Polygamous, gay/lesbian wedding, maybe with a goat or a toaster on the side. In the nude, with everyone painted red and wearing devil prosthetics, make up some satanic sounding bullshit just to piss them off.
So this is what Freddy and his minions are reduced to? Asking Ellen DeGeneres and George Takei for wedding invitations?
So pathetic, and yet, so laughable.
Please tell us the date, time, and place of your blasphemous affairs.
Well since you asked so nicely. :p
@KKK: "POE"
*sigh*
If only..
Unfortunately, Fred Phelps and the WBC are all too real.
Then again, with a name like "KKK," perhaps YOU are a poe? :P
"...why are you two hiding the time, date and place of those glorious affairs from Westboro Baptist Church? ... We plan to picket you!"
Duh!
Attn WBC: All homosexual weddings are being held about 23 miles due west of San Francisco. Get in your cars and drive as fast as you can. You wouldn't want to miss any, would you?
Yeah, for one, I'm not telling absolute strangers my wedding date and time.
For two, "We're going to come piss you off, can you help us out?" isn't going to earn you any replies. Not friendly ones, anyway. What do you expect?
"Oh, yes, please! I want a bunch of hateful fuckwads coming to my wedding and ruining the entire party by telling me and all my friends we're destined for Hell! Sounds like fun! ...no, seriously, get the fuck away from me or I'll ring the police."
Sure...I'm having my wedding on Saturday...in the ocean...yeah, the ocean, yeah, yeah, that's the ticket! Way out in the ocean...near where the man eating sharks are.
@KKK: "POE"
*sigh*
If only..
Unfortunately, Fred Phelps and the WBC are all too real.
Then again, with a name like "KKK," perhaps YOU are a poe? :P
KKK's been making mediocre troll posts on the site for a few months now. He/she/it is no real threat - FSTDT has seen and survived far worse.
If you come to my wedding, Fred can sit on the table reserved for all the big men in leather.
Shirley Phelps can sit with the bulldykes ^^
Gee, Fred, you're gonna have time for that beaide your hatred of picketing the funerals of American servicemen?
Prove God is real by dying in a very slow and painful manner.
I had an online friend (miss ya, Melsy!) who lived in Topeka KS. She had to walk through these asswipes just to get down to 7-11 to buy a Coke. When they'd tell her she had spina bifida because her mother was a sinful ho, she'd just laugh. Melsy knew she had two sisters and a brother, and no two of them had the same father. The funniest part was that Melsy's mother was a drunk fundie, who saw 'signs' in bowls of Alpha-Bits/alphabet soup.
Sadly, after Texas fucked up the FLDS thing, KS will be in no hurry to liberate children from the WBC.
If I recall correctly, Takei's openly announced where and when he's getting married, Ellen's yet to specify a date.
Nothing says lovin' like rednecks from Kansas!
We plan to picket you! Please tell us the date, time, and place of your blasphemous affairs.
Me and my gay friend intend to get married at the end of the abandoned pier, at 02:00 in the morning. We will be bringing our ritual bags of cement and chains, so don't be alarmed.
And we know another couple getting married at the far end of the target range at the shooting range. They'll be the ones holding the sniper rifles.
Yay! The Westboro Batshit Circus is coming to town!
Old Queen Fred won't have a funeral, they would never risk it. Keeping in mind the inevitable ritual cleansing that it would trigger, they'd be better off quietly stuffing that old bag o' shit into a mulcher in the middle of the night.
Westboro's gotten so bad, I almost confused it with Landover (which is a fundy parody site).
Bad and lazy, too. What, can't they find out when and where the civil unions will take place for themselves? "Please, teh gheys, help us to hate you."
@ nfp: Yeah, I thought the same thing.
"Why is this on here? Everyone knows this is a parody si- oh, wait, Westboro , not Landover."
You are glorying in your shame.
What would the other reasons for having shame be?
Well, now, if it’s so wonderful, why are you two hiding the time, date and place of those glorious affairs from Westboro Baptist Church?
Because you guys are the lowest form of "Human" life on this planet. I thought you choads learned your lesson when you were chased from a funeral by an enraged mob of mourners in 2006. They damn near tipped your van over and the police had to hold the crowd back from literally killing you.
Please tell us the date, time, and place of your blasphemous affairs.
Please publish your home address, your home and cell phone numbers, plus similar information for all members of your congregation.
I'll give Westboro this much: At least they're up front about what it's all about. This church is saying exactly what's written in the Bible. The only difference between the average theist and Westboro is merely that of degree.
I'm going to show up at the weddings of Westboro Baptist Church members, with large crowds of like minded people, completely equipped with picket signs and other protest equipment. I'll proceed to shout obscenities at you all.
We'll see if that puts a damper on the couple's big day.
While I'm at it, I'll protest your funerals, birthday parties, vacations, and walks to check the mail.
This is just a hypothetical, of course, but you'd certainly deserve it.
You know what's really sad? These people... actually believe what they're saying. They really, truly believe. And that is scary.
By the way, aaa? I think it was bombed. Not molotov'd, but definitely partially destroyed.
These Satanic gutter trash called Westboro Baptist Church are a bunch of sick fuckheads with no life but to harass & make other people's lives miserable. It is THEY who are bound for HELL, and the first will be Fucktard Fred Phelps himself & his spawn of Satan, Shirley Phelps-Roper.
Fred the fucktard has some nerve, thinking gays would tell HIM & his filthy 'church' where their weddings are so they could get harassed by filthy fundies.
How many straight weddings would invite the WBC?
I don't think it's the fact that they're ashamed, Freddy. You're just kind of a buzzkill.
We plan to picket you! Please tell us the date, time, and place of your blasphemous affairs.
NOBODY is going to say anything to you, and since you've warned them in advance, if you stumble across one I suggest you fucknuts wear body armor to your pathetic pickets.
If your God is so omniscient and omnipotent, he should tell you where the wedding is, or better yet, prevent the wedding altogether.
But he isn't, is he?
"My idea is, after fred is dead, several huge marching bands surround his funeral and play broadway show tunes, followed by the entire works of Elton John."
I seriously agree with this comment.
At freds funeral, there needs to be a celebration of this kind that is labled as a protest under all the same laws that WBC uses for their own protests. If they cannot give people private funerals, then they themselves in no way whatsoever deserve to have his funeral private.
@adam
Awesome though that may be, I still say that his funeral should be met with utter silence. Not that he deserves the dignity of it, but rather, as he thrives on attention, it would seem, it feels most fitting to deprive him of it.
Although I would support putting an outhouse on his grave.
[We plan to picket you! Please tell us the date, time, and place of your blasphemous affairs.]
Wow. They really are persuasive!
When I was in highschool, they tried to ban kissing in school. So a bunch of couples went out in front of the school and made in protest.
I think that would be a fun counter protest to WBC if they try this. A bunch of same sex couples making out. Hell, I'm straight and I'd do it for the lulz.
We plan to picket you! Please tell us the date, time, and place
Even before 26th June 2015, there's this thing called 'E-Mails', y'see. E-Invitations .
Why not ask your 'God' to simply furnish you with those dates, times & GPS-verifiable coordinates of said Fabulous affairs? Don't forget, that just a mustard seed of FAIL... er, I mean 'Faith' can move mountains: even for un believers.
Meanwhile - speaking as a member of Anonymous - we know where [I]you[/I] live.
Ever wondered why you couldn't get service at garages after someone slashed your tyres?
You being doxed. Your... 'reputation' proceeding you way before then.
Just a mustard seed's worth of hacking can result in a Tower of Babel-sized mass of FAIL as you become more & more the irrelevancies via your in ability to know where these now completely legal - as per Romans 13:1-5 - Fabulous affairs post-Obergefell vs. Hodges are.
Their increasing Fabulousness , our Schadenfreude cups runneth over via your infinite tears of butthurt: as in Soviet America, former victims troll you .
More. Please .
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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