[In response to 'How could all the animals fit on Noah's Ark?]
The animals went on the ark with Noah, there genes were inside Noahs body. After the flood, Noah had many children, and they went out and slowly after generations they evolved into different animals.
79 comments
Wait....so the animals went onto the arc as parts of Noah's DNA, and Noah gave birth to things that would evolve EVERY SPECIES OF ANIMAL ON EARTH OVER THE COURSE OF A 1000 YEARS!?
This why layman's apologetics do not work...
So, what - a million species of critter got Noah up the butt and got him man-preggers, so he was squeezing out hybrid animal whelps for years after the flood?
Maaaaaaaan ... What religion is this anyway? Please, show me the verse in Genesis that sanctifies gay bestiality!
NOAH WAS A FURRY
IT ALL FITS TOGETHER
I'm surprised this isn't Carico -- it's got her stupidity.
Anyway, isn't this guy kinda admitting evolution happened? That innocent little theory they say is so eebil? They evolved?!
@DLG:
Wait. Carico's a GIRL? o_o I thought she was a really stupid guy. >_>
Also, not only is he admitting evolution happens, he's admitting that [their whacked-out idea of] "macro" evolution happens!
Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?
Well, that's a new one.
That theme runs throughout pagan and animist traditions, but the vessel is exclusively female.
Ur-Mutter.
But if you feel the need to rip off yet another paganism, T.L., at least have the sense to give the role to Noah's wife, mkay?
After the flood, Noah had many children,
With whom/what? Somehow the image of a bearded man in his 60's earnestly humping a fruit-fly doesn't seem very practical, regardless of whether you believe in the science of genetics or not.
Actually, the ark was like the tent in the Harry Potter movie--regular size on the outside, but a 4 room house on the inside. So it looked like a regular boat, but became incredibly large once you got it.
So, everything evolved in the last 4,000 years. Yeah. Right.
Or the flood was 4 billion years ago and Noah was an archaeon (sp?)
Well ... interesting. I guess a fundamentalist can accept this because it doesn't have *humans* evolving from animals? Or something?
@vanora: The Ark was a TARDIS; that's how everything fit inside. And Noah was a Time Lord.
So Noah didn't have an ark,was the ark, himself!
It all makes sense to me now. No, wait, what about the cubits of gopher wood, the one window, the 40 days at sea, ...
Wow. Just wow. This has got to be one of the most astounding quotes I've seen on this site yet. Either this nutjob is totally detached from reality, or he's really a troll...and given the presence of the word 'evolved', I'd guess the latter.
So, evolution is a fact, all of a sudden?
As it took millions of years for the species to evolve to their state before this mythic flood, it would take them millions of years to evolve into something similar again after the flood, especially if they all started out as humans...
What a stunning mental image, Noah gangbanging the entire animal kingdom as the clouds roll in.
I love it when they try and make a ridiculous story sound more feasible, and only end up making it even crazier than it was before.
I would agree that it's Poe, but one can never be sure especially with the Noah's Ark story. They cling to that particular myth like dogshit to a shoe.
@#677445
"HOLY SHIT"
Indeed. After all (on pregnancy & levels of pain comparisons by genders; emphasis added):
'Unless you're passing a bowling ball, I don't think so! '
-Robin Williams
And the Don Bluth animated Sci-Fi film "Titan AE" is not a documentary, T.L;D.R. Glen(da), even if the eponymous vessel was a huge terraforming ship-cum-DNA repository/seeder.
@Rapax Pringer
"So... Noah WAS the ark?"
No, Noah, you are the Arks.
And then Russell Crowe beat the crap out of T.L;D.R. Glen(da), and that's why Darren Aronofsky got the director's job instead. X3
@Philbert McAdamia
"So Noah didn't have an ark, Noah was the ark, himself! "
image
At least the terraforming ship (but to be used as an 'Ark' for abandoning this galaxy, and travelling to another, leaving this one to destroy itself in the resulting politico-financial chaos) Deucalion transformed into something resembling a human ('Mecha').
[/Keiji Gotoh]
ArmandT
(About Carico) How could anyone that stoopit live to be 50?
----------
@ SuperId
Yeah...haha...all the guys called him Needledick the Bug Fucker. Poor old guy. How would you like to hear that for 900 years?
-------------
@ Anon-e-moose
Well, sure! That's how we know his last name - he was Noah Zark.
umm, err, lets see, hmmm, bwahhahaahahahahaha, *gasp*
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
