Dearest followers of The Obamessiah,
I am your President. Yet I am not black. I am the first Arabic-American President of the United States of America. Please, please, enough of these claims as to my supposed blackness. It is simply not true. I am not black. I am less than 7% African Kenyan, which I will expand upon below. My wife, Michelle, is a beautiful black queen. My children are of rich mixed gender. But I am not black. At best I am a wanna-be Negro due to my skills on the basketball court. However, I cannot dance, I prefer classical music and opera, receiving fellatio from overweight white men in the back seat of limousines, and most importantly I do not walk with a silly, gangsta-style pimp limp.
Being 51% Caucasian, 42.5% Arabic, and only 6.5% African Kenyan, does NOT constitute blackness, my dear followers. Just look at my olive-tan skin and purple lips. While I certainly appreciate the kind compliments, accolades and I covet your worship of my very being, I am simply not black. I am no more black than Tiger Woods.
Well, actually, Tiger Woods is now officially black, as of the events of November 2009. Word. He's definitely a brotha now, fa sho, and a jackass, to boot.
Blessings be upon my people.
- Barry Soetoro, The Obamessiah