Hm. I don't know a candidate like that.
wants to given abortions in the school nurses office (but not aspirin),
Mmmmmm.... syntax error much? Anyway, this is utter bullshit. But it's fundies like you that are responsible for teen pregnancy anyway. Hint: given the opportunity, teenagers will tend to fuck. All the moralizing in the world won't stop them. But some protection -- condoms, the pill, etc -- will reduce the pregnancy and STD rate.
wants to silence the word of the LORD in our churches,
I doubt that very much. There is not a candidate alive who would try to do this, much less advertise themselves in support of this, even if they did want it.
Besides, churches are plenty good at fighting among themselves. Sometimes we get lucky and there's a dual knockout (Swaggart/Bakker, anyone?).
promote a muslim agenda by leaving the middle east (even though he claims to be christian!),
How exactly is this promoting a Muslim agenda? It's called "respecting national sovereignty" for a war we had no reason to fight to begin with. Had we stuck with Afghanistan, we might be in better shape.
promote equal rights for women,
Vox Day, is that you?
teach evolution as fact in our schools,
Uh, because it is. Not that we'll prove it to you lot.
and give away our tax money in non-religious programs to people who don't work!
I never did understand how a religion founded by a man who stressed charity and equality can be so focused on such benighted Randishness.