[How old will people be in heaven?]
DNA hints between 28 and 33.
89 comments
Everyone on this board seems to believe it is around 33. And that children will grow up. I would like to see their basis for this belief (seems most are pulling it from "I heard so and so preach years ago, and he said we would be 33").
Keep making it up as you go people...
I looked better at 22, so I guess I'll just have to pass. I wouldn't want to look anything less than my best for eternity, after all.
Seriously, where the fuck did you get this shit from? I mean, other than from your ass...
A related question: How old will people be in hell?
Since you apparently got DNA samples from people in heaven, you must be able to get some from people in hell.
Growing up in a fundamentalist church, we knew from a young age, that we'd be 33 when we got to heaven. Don't know know Jesus was 33 when he died? And aren't we going to be just like him when we are resurrected? Yep. 33. That's the number.
Does this mean that they think that, when babies die, they instantly age to 28 upon being assumed into heaven?
I get the feeling that we're putting more thought into this than they did.
I did not think that "souls" had DNA. THe souls not the entire physical body is transported to heaven. Oh, wait, this is a quote from Rapture Ready. Rapture is a completely made up fantasy, only a couple hundred years old, where the "worthy" body is wisked up to heaven. The clothes are left behind. Everyone in heaven has a body and is naked. Is that a sin??
It just seems that Fundies are getting more stupid as time passes
Please excuse the following comment, but...
Fuck me sideways - where the HELL did you pull this little nugget of information from? DNA hints? Sheez, I would love to see a citation for this one.
DNA hints, please explain. What, a piece of DNA says " its bigger than 27 but smaller than 33".
What about all those people who dies before they were 27.
Just go die, it hurts my head.
They don't believe in science in any form, yet they believe they've gotten DNA from angels? Well, OK for Doublethink. As for the age of people in Hell, I'd have to say at least 63, the way my joints ache now at this age, it's sort of like my idea of Hell. Is there at least aspirin? No? It's just "No rest for the wicked"?
Phooey.
Since its heaven, don’t you get to be whatever age you want? I thought that was the point of heaven
You get the stuff you want.
I would be 6. I love playing with Legos and after 6 people start looking at you funny when you get out the Lego set.
At first I thought 21 because I like beer, but then I remembered, It’s heaven
no drinking age.
So when you guys get to heaven and there’s a drunk six year old bragging about his kick ass Lego train set, that’s me.
Dr Whom, Hell is like Jr. High?
Aw, fuck...I went to a Catholic school.
Then again, I was suspended twice.
I guess this guy is "thinking" that someone in heaven would be at thier Optimal" age. Since in Heaven everything is supposed to be at their best.
Of course, 28 to 33 isn't optimal. 18 would be closer to optimal for males.
But then that's also assuming there was any real logic to this to begin with.
Since Heaven is supposed to be a spiritual place, physical age would be meaningless if it actually exists.
"DNA hints between 28 and 33"
...weirdly, this is the age that astrologists refer to as a Saturn Return, which is (apparently) a time of great change and transition.
This guy hasn't been reading evil Satanic horoscopes, has he?
Okay, ordinarily I'd think, "Hehe, that idiot thinks there's a heaven and people will be between 28 and 33 years old!" and go on my merry way. But where in the heck did you find this information in our DNA?
That whole thread is filled with fail. It's really sad: people wanting to avoid their problems here, so they hold on to the notion that someone, somewhere will take them away.
Then they come up with ridiculous statements like this to justify their inane beliefs.
Really sad.
I'd feel sorry for anybody who'd fought a serious medical condition between those ages.
"Alright! I'm in Heaven! And i'm young! And my relatives are all here! And- Oooh, I don't feel too well..."
Or what if you were a woman who'd had a breast enlargement at 34?
"The fuck is this? Hey God, I had a rack when I left!"
We have got to be fucking joking.
<<followed link>>
According to your book there will be no families and no marriages in heaven. You will be "as the angels" Mark 12:25
Of course I'm assuming that you went to heaven and got this DNA from angels did you? Or are you just lying for Jesus again.
Later in the thread Tybash said:
O.k this is what i heard on t.v once. The dna strand only ages to the age of 33. It doesn't grow any older than that. I thought that was what we will be when we all get to heaven.
It must be true, then, if Tybash heard it on TV.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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