Well, first, let's clarify what the admin's definition of a 'testimony' or 'testify' is! When I speak of a lady testifying, I am speaking of her praising the Lord for something the Lord has done for her in her life. i.e., this is what the Lord did for me.
As for why it is wrong for a woman to 'preach' in church, we need only look to the qualifications for a bishop (pastor):
1 Tim 3:2-7 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; (3) Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; (4) One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (5) (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) (6) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. (7) Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
One of the qualifications is 'husband of one wife'. This qualification eliminates several groups of people:
Unmarried the pastor must be a husband! This means that unmarried men are not qualified!
Remarried the pastor must be the husband of one wife. This means he cannot be divorced and remarried.
Women No matter how hard she may try, a woman cannot be a woman.
As for the other positions some women have taken in churches, the passages from Paul are on point. The Bible is not extreme, it is our guide.
46 comments
"The Bible is not extreme, it is our guide."
God's guide to murder, rape, pillage and genocide.
With this handy dandy tome you will learn all kinds of things to help you lead a healthy, moral lifestyle:
- Kid's not doing as they are told? Just stone them and solve all your problems!
- Someone else is on land that you want? Just claim that god told you to take it! But make sure you kill all the women and children too. You wouldn't want them growing up and taking revenge.
- Feel like raping a young girl? That's OK. You're a guy and can do no wrong, but the little slut must pay for it. How dare she tempt you by merely being there?
You will find all these and many other excuses to do any disgusting act you want, and claim that god said it was alright. What more could you want?
"Women No matter how hard she may try, a woman cannot be a woman."
Um... what else can a woman be other than what she was born as? This is probably a typo, unless of course it's a Freudian slip. That would prove (yet again) that Bro. Randy has a hard on for teenage girls. I think he's scared of adult females.
Oh, and yes, the babble IS extreme. You just haven't read it with an open-mind, you prick.
"Unmarried the pastor must be a husband! This means that unmarried men are not qualified!"
So Jesus wouldn't be qualified to preach, then.
Do you actually read what you type?
NOOOO, let's all be good little autonomous drones and adhere to the patriarch.
Perfect servants = religious suckers.
Wow. I thought nothing good be as failtastic as "gravity doesn't exist", but then I read "a woman cannot be a woman."
There aren't words in English for that type of failure. You klaschuur.
"Women No matter how hard she may try, a woman cannot be a woman. "
Methinks your brain is stuck in a loop.
Many of the men who claimed to have written these books hated women. Misogynists of the worst kind. Paul was probably the worst of the lot. Anyone who wants to adhere to their 2000 yr old books as an excuse to treat over half of the human race like a subjugated species can kiss my ass.
You do realize that according to your rules. Jesus himself would not be allowed to preach?
He was unmarried (according to your bible)
He drank wine
He hung out with sinners
He struck people in the temple, could also be classifying as brawling
He didn't have a house to rule over
He was a novice(never trained as a preacher or rabbi)
None of the holy men liked him
Proof positive that it is Paul that you worship and not Christ.
And I'm not going to touch the "No matter how hard she may try, a woman cannot be a woman." comment. I'm sure it's a Freudian slip from a misogynist fuckhead.
@ AntiChrist:
The two Timothy letters aren't Pauline. They're Pastoral, which means that they were written much later than Paul's death but given the authority of his name. They were canonized because they were nice and safe and conservative, as most religions have to become in order to survive.
Jesus outranks Paul to all Christians except fundies. The first person chosen by Jesus to announce the Gospel of the risen lord to his disciples was MARY MAGDALENE, not Peter, not John. It's right there in your Bible, supposedly followed literally by you, Randy. So I guess that you worship Paul and interpret the scriptures which makes you a hypocrite and not a Christian.
This is obviously just non-future ready coding.
This is like how we have no laws regarding sex with robots, computers driving, or robot voting. Doesn't mean it could never happen.
Laws are supposed to follow common morals, not vice versa.
'Women No matter how hard she may try, a woman cannot be a woman'
Okay. So all women are men, then. So they can be pastors. Dilemma solved!
And if we change "wife" for husband?. The only thing that I have inferred so far is that the Bishop in question must be married(not to another man, for at the time gay marriage didn't exist. I think that what they're really saying is that polygamy IS FORBIDDEN).
And anyway, wasn't Paul single?. And didn't they inmediately change the rule?
"Women No matter how hard she may try, a woman cannot be a woman."
I'm willing to bet my left eyeball that if bobx sees this, he will adopt this as his new motto, and he and Randy will become best friends.
Well... they've both got hard-ons for little girls.
As many commenters have correctly pointed out, Jesus would be disqualified from preaching under these rules. But, it doesn't matter to fundies. They worship Paul, not Jesus. (Of course, as a non-husband, Paul would have been disqualified, too, but hey we're talking fundie "logic" here.)
Ah, Fuhrer Randy, I was wondering where he'd gotten off to.
Proof that most fundies aren't Christian, but are in fact Paulists. Most of the shit they fret about isn't even mentioned by Jesus.
"They're not really rules, as such. Sort of like just guidelines."
Ironic that BR doesn't read any other fiction except his bible.
To: Mattural Selection
True, I don't suppose I could use the Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy, instead, could I? Atleast there's real advice to be had! And the 'Don't Panic' which comes in handy when in contact with da fundehs.
"A woman cannot be a woman?"
MY LIFE IS A LIE!!!!! *sob*
No, seriously, if a woman is not a woman, then what the hell am I?
/Women No matter how hard she may try, a woman cannot be a woman./
There are a few possible explanations for this line.
1) What Randy really meant to say was that a woman can never be the "ideal woman" or at least, his ideal of what a woman should be.
2) He was drunk.
3) His hatred of women is so irrational that it renders him incoherent.
4) He was typing this while lecturing his pack of gullible twerps about the "evils" of homosexuality at the same time.
5) He is just plain stupid.
"the pastor must be a husband! This means that unmarried men are not qualified!"
Gee, that's funny, when I looked at the NIV translation of 1 Timothy 3:2, I saw this:
"Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,"
Note the little "but" in there. It means he can have at MOST one wife, i.e. he mustn't practice polygamy (a practice that was not illegal at the time 1 Timothy was written).
There is no requirement that he have EXACTLY one wife. He can have zero wives. ... At least, unless you're a staunch King-James-onlyist who believes that his personal interpretation of 1 Tim 3:12 is law.
Proserpina:
Fortunately, most of the actual teens on T4C have, in fact, left. It's mostly just ol' Randy and his sockpuppets.
Sadly, a lot of his teens left for other fundie sites, but at least it's elsewhere.
@ Logic Stick :
Sure, Hitchhiker's guide works well, but when dealing with fundies, I prefer the Panic Sheet from Red Dwarf.
"No matter how hard she may try, a woman cannot be a woman."
...
-looks down own pants-
Holy Radishes, Batman! Look here! A VAGINA!
I'm a...GASP!
Woman!
Dude. It clearly says 'bishop.'
Interestingly, several sects that have bishops accepted female ordination for a while before letting them be bishops, too, in which time they were obeying this rule properly.
It's annoying how 'fundamentalism,' which /should/ mean returning to the actual content of religious texts, has come to mean 'dogmatically pursuing one's own favorite interpretation of the texts' even when that's not real. When you hear 'ordinary pious people taking the right to interpret their religion from the clerical elite' it sounds so lovely and populist.
Sometimes it means early Protestantism. Sometimes it means Wahhabis. Sometimes it means the Westboro Baptists. Dammit.
One might naïvely think that people who call themselves Christians would follow the word of Christ. But no, you've gotta bring in that misogynistic epileptic, Paul (probably the original Incel) and pretend that is Christian doctrine. You want to follow Paul, go right ahead and thank Paul when anything goes right, but don't call yourself a Christian any more.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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