(I discovered that my 15 year old daughter is having sex. What should I do?)
65 comments
#657307
First and foremost you need to find out if she's using protection. If she's not, then smack her in the back of the head and take her to the pharmacy to get some. Then you need to make sure she understands the risks and consequences--like pregnancy and STDs. Nothing cools those lustful urges like knowing you'll have an 18-year long partykiller on your hip if you screw up.
I was "answering the question and ignoring the fundie" because it's funnier.
I think the worst way is to outright forbid her to do it. It doesn't work, and will only make her come up with ways to do it anyway, only hiding it better from you.
Seriously, if her school is a real school they already have sex ed, and so she knows how it works, including protection. I remember my school even handed out condoms for free while we had sex ed. If we weren't going to use them for sex, they figured at least we can practice handling them.
Lock her up in a cupboard.. that will stop her. The fascist way is far better than those damn liberals!
I'm just impressed she's found out about the birds and the bees, cause you damn didn't tell her.
I'd say, "talk to her, re-explain pregnancy and diseases.
Explain about peer pressure and not needing to conform to anyone except her.
Make sure the guy is her age and not some 30 year old pervert.
And I would lay down the law a bit. 15 is too young, and my daughter is my responsibility until she is of the age of consent.
But the post is stupid and anti-liberal bigoted. Not Fundie
"Hey, if it feels good do it!"
I have honestly never heard an atheist or liberal or anyone else besides a fundie use this phrase. I really don't know why every single one of them thinks we believe this.
Off to the convent with her!
Isn't that what you religious folk used to do with "embarrassing" situations like this? Maybe you should do the whole "spare the rod, spoil the child" thing and just beat some sense into her. I hear from the religious that that's supposed to work too. Then again, you could always sell her to whoever she's fucking. That's another time honored tradition amongst your crowd. Of course, if she was a virgin when she met the guy then he'll have to pay you for "damaging your goods" since, as everyone knows, a non-virgin woman is no good as a bargaining chip when it comes to haggling over a camel (or a new Mercedes these days).
Read your Wholly Babble. All the rules are right in there.
Depending on where she lives, there could be a legal issue in having sex with a 15 year old.
Beyond this there are the questions of how aware she is of the consequences of engaging in sex - pregnancy, STDs, eventual break-up of a relationship, single parenting etc.
Even worse, parental rejection of her, or her and a possible child.
There is no point in laying all the fault at a 15 year old's door. Parents have a responsibility in this too. I may be old-fashioned, but I think allowing offspring at this age to engage in sex is irresponsible. At 18 kids are legally adults and can do as they wish. The ideal, if ever achievable, would be to see that they are properly prepared so that they know what they are getting into when the decide to start having sex, and to ensure that they are informed about all the aspects of sex from the pleasurable to the painful and dangerous. In particular they should be informed about contraception, and that it is a mutual responsibility for male and female.
In a fundie family I doubt if any of the above points would ever be raised in preparing the kids for life. They would be more interested in preparing them for Rapture = Death. So, some hope for this kid! She'll probably be stoned to death by nightfall.
You could be like a real liberal and teach her the consequences of sex and the precautions that need to be taken. Or you could be like a conservative, stick your fingers in your ears, shut your eyes, and say, "La la la la la, those things don't happen because I say they don't, la la la la la."
Huh?
You could be like an ACTUAL liberal, and sit down and talk with your daughter about possible consequences of her actions.
Or you could do things the liberal way, Which has nothing to do with whether or not your daughter is sexualy active... But everything to do with responsible application of capitalism. Which is the liberal way.
Well done 007. When asked for advice you managed to type 4 sentences without giving any at all.
We're just going to take your dart shooting watch now, before you hurt yourself with it.
Or you could be a fundie and chain her to the kitchen sink until she repents for being a dirty whore.
Ack, it made me feel ill to type that. You could be extra-liberal and give her a little talk, make sure she's fully clued-up about contraception, STDs, her rights and feelings and so on. Make sure she's not being pressured into sex. It should be enthusiastically consensual, not something grudgingly agreed to. Also explain to her that she's not legal yet, and that could land her and her boyfriend in trouble. Make efforts to get to know her boyfriend too. If he appears to be unsuitable then be a parent and lay down the law.
But nah, shaming girls is soooo much better. [/sarcasm]
While you and your man of straw get acquainted, 007, some real advice would have sounded like many of the other answers here. Chiefly, make sure she's safe, understands what she's doing and maybe, just maybe, have a true conversation about sex that doesn't involve silly euphemisms for body parts or begin and end with the word "abstinence."
Yes, that's the way you should do it, after you make sure she knows about protection and birth control, and has the number for a doctor that does abortions if the worst happens and the contraceptives fail.
Yeah, so much better to just beat her until she learns her lesson... Or maybe you should just stone her to death for not listening to you...
Strange how at the fundie-level all these religions sound so similar.
Possible solutions:
Tell her not to. It won't do any good, but you'll feel like you're being a parent.
Tell her not to really, really loudly, using lots of cuss words and shaking your fist. That won't do any good either, but at least you won't feel like you're being a liberal.
Beat the living shit out of her and tell her not to. It still won't do any good, but at least she'll move out of the house by the time she's 16 and you won't have to see her anymore.
Sew up her vagina (hey, it works in third-world countries ...)
Sigh and be thankful she's not going to embarrass you in front of your fundie friends by turning out to be a lesbian.
Make sure she knows about birth control and STDs. No, the fear of pregnancy or AIDS is not going to stop her. Only redneck morons and George Bush (or is that "including George Bush") think that works. Their kids have sex just as much a liberals; the kids just get pregnant more, and end up raising yet another generation of WalMart stockboys and TastyFreeze clerks. If you don't like her having sex, you're gonna like her having sex and coming home with a bun in the oven or a dose of the clap even less.
Admittedly *any* parent would freak out. Hell, if I had a 15 year old daughter, and I found out she was having sex, *I'd* freak out! I'd want to be sure she was being responsible about it, too.
By herself, with a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or the family pet? Give us details, bitch!
Check for protection
Christian specially drunk girls are piss easy to hit and I know it by experience.
Legal of course...
...when clearly what you should be doing is treating her like a common whore, shaming her about her body until she feels she's only worth anything when a man deigns himself to take her as his wife, correct?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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