This is a very urgent prophesy about Florida.
Florida looks like the head of a snake (with lake ochechobee as the eye, and Florida Keys as the tongue). It also looks like a gun.
There is an island called La Palma in the Atlantic ocean. Part of it could fall into the sea and cause a Tsunami which would wipe out Florida.
Florida is one of the wealthiest places in the world. It is therefore not going to be in favour with God since 2.5 billion people live on less than $2 a day.
La Palma contains the word Palm (as in Palm Sunday - the return of Jesus to Jerusalem; or in modern terms the second coming of Jesus).
The book of Revelation talks about a large mountain being thrown into the sea at the end of time. [...] People in the area need to repent/leave the area.
There is a precident for this - the Indonesian tsunami was caused by an earthquake with an epicentre around the island of Sinabang (Sin a bang - this is how God communicated the purpose of the tsunami; if you sin, you get a bang).
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Part of it could fall into the sea and cause a Tsunami which would wipe out Florida.
No, the problem is that the island is a volcano. The tsunami wouldn't be caused by a big rock falling into the water; it would be caused by an earthquake.
(Sin a bang - this is how God communicated the purpose of the tsunami; if you sin, you get a bang)."
Haha, stupid foreigners - they shoulda learned English so they could see when God was trying to tell them something.
Yes, but "Washing ton," implying that DC is extremely dirty, i.e., corrupt, and "New York" or "Gnu Yuck," which is irreverent antelope humor, and also "Carolina," which rhymes with...
"Florida looks like the head of a snake (with lake ochechobee as the eye, and Florida Keys as the tongue). It also looks like a gun."
LOL! And all this time, I've been thinking, Florida looks like America's wang, as in this example of Mapfilth (USA shouting across the Atlantic): "Hey, Europe, Eat my Florida!"
"Looks like" and "sounds like" in such instances as these are both culturally derived associations, and neither has the slightest, faintest, remotest connection with having any meaning for reality, either as description or as warning.
Even just the geologically related statements here are mostly wrong, even leaving out the weird metaphorical and linguistic atrocities being associatively forced upon them.
Alasdair evidently has an active imagination, a very tenuous grasp on reality, and absolutely no ability to distinguish between the two of them. But he deserves our pity, not our scorn; he needs medical and psychological help as much as he needs an education, if not more so.
~David D.G.
It also looks like a penis, which is cool because it means we are pissing on Cuba.
But seriously, what are you? A medieval alchemist? the Doctrine of Signatures has not been followed in hundreds of years.
Sierra: Actually, you're both right. La Palma is a volcanic island, but geologic studies of the island have shown there are water columns building up between vertical rock columns that due to the volcanic activity could cause the western side of the island to seperate and slide into the Atlantic. This could cause a giant tsunami that would hit, as el nico pointed out, the entire eastern US coastine.
I will have to give alasdair credit for having this part right. However, the rest of his post is pure drivel.
Yeah, but in Mark, it says there were 14 generations from Abraham to David, 14 more from David to the deportation to Babylon, and 14 more from the deportation to Jesus, for a total of 42. If you take the 42nd Fibonacci Number and divide it by the Biblical value of pi (3), then divide again by the Golden Ratio raised to the power of the trinity, it gives the time in hours from the death of Jesus to the destruction of the earth, which works out to about the year 2405. So we've got some time yet.
Well, I think you will be quoted here when NOTHING happens. Besides, bear in mind that the book of revelation is meant for everybody, not just for Americans.
Now hold on there, if you sin you get a bang. Like in gun, and didn't he say that Florida is shaped sortofkindamaybe like a gun?? A serpent gun. Serpent like in the garden of eden. And the serpent in the garden of eden talked and most residents of Florida talk and use canes. Canes that look like serpents AND the state of Florida. And those residents are in part men, men who are old and can't get it up. Serpent. Bang. Gun. Sin. Flaccid peni.
Okay. I tried. But I just can't disengage my brain long enough to connect them all. Still, I say we send alasdair down there to start the evacuation.
And Italy looks a bit like a boot. Boot rhymes with Loot, which can alternately be spelled "Lute" which is a musical instrument. The most popular type of instrument is a guitar, and guitar sounds like "Sitar". The Sitar is most redilly associated with India. People from India are called Indians, but Native Americans are also called Indians. A group of Native AMericans defeated the Cavalry at the Battle of Little Bighorn. Bighorn contains the word "horn", and who has the biggest horns of them all?
Just think about it. The old lay out of The Netherlands looked a bit like a lion. (This was before we reclaimed land and build several dykes)
We got this rampant homosexual plague, legalised prostitution (they can even get "start-up funds" from the government if the proposition goes through), legalised drugs, legalised abortion, legalised gay marriage, legalised euthanasia, legalized the shit out of everything else God forbid. And we are mostly below see level.
Does this mean that we will be assaulted by a lion tripping of the cliffs at Dover (Don't ask me how it got there or how the wave will manage to miss the Belgian or French coast. God works in mysterious ways) and caused a tsunami to wipe out all of The Netherlands?
"There is an island called La Palma in the Atlantic ocean. Part of it could fall into the sea and cause a Tsunami which would wipe out Florida."
Just sayin', but I don't think a mega-tsunami (or whatever) associated with collapse of the volcano (Cumbre Vieja? or whatever) on La Palma would "wipe out" all of Florida.
"The book of Revelation talks about a large mountain being thrown into the sea at the end of time."
Yes -- and this would be part of one flank of a mountain. Does that still count? Can we skimp on the literal reading here?
"There is a precident for this - the Indonesian tsunami was caused by an earthquake with an epicentre around the island of Sinabang (Sin a bang - this is how God communicated the purpose of the tsunami; if you sin, you get a bang)"
Do tsunamis make a banging sound?
And can God illustrate this concept in areas without across-the-sea access to major subduction zones?
There is a precident for this - the Indonesian tsunami was caused by an earthquake with an epicentre around the island of Sinabang (Sin a bang - this is how God communicated the purpose of the tsunami; if you sin, you get a bang).
The earthquake originated in the Indian Ocean just north of Simeulue island, off the western coast of northern Sumatra.
Are you a liar or just stupid?
Furthermore, why then didn't it occur in Bangkok huh? Bang. Cock. huh?
An Earthquake happened in the Pacific "Ring of Fire" - does this mean God should ease up on the curries?
Nostradumbass Award.
No, this is a perfect example of what armchair prophets should do - be vague, no deadline. Unlike the TrueBibleCode loonies and their endless predictions that the UN is going to get nuked, this guy's prediction isn't so easy to prove false (it can only be shown false when the planet itself bites the dust, or when the island crumbles and Florida isn't wiped out).
That said, since many others have predicted this not based on religion but based on the fact that the island is not geologically stable, he would get no points for being correct anyway.
If you sin, you get a bang. God loves his irony...
I must really be in trouble, as I live in Youreallgonnadie, Ontario.
I agree with Wow. My best friend used to live in northern Florida, and described it as trailer park heaven.
And if God doesn't like the wealthy, what are all the wealthy televangelists going to do? Robertson is worth what, $140 million?
"if you sin, you get a bang"
They're not even TRYING anymore...
Hey, come back when you can make a prediction that makes an inkling of sense, alasdair. Not even the cheesy fantasy novelists will use this sort of prophecy.
"Sin a bang - this is how God communicated the purpose of the tsunami; if you sin, you get a bang"
No. In god's language, english!
"Sin a bang - this is how God communicated the purpose of the tsunami; if you sin, you get a bang"
That's odd, if you pronounce it correctly it sounds more like "sin-uh-bung". So what was your god's purpose again?
There is an island called La Palma in the Atlantic ocean. Part of it could fall into the sea and cause a Tsunami which would wipe out Florida.
[...]
The book of Revelation talks about a large mountain being thrown into the sea at the end of time.
No, no, no, the bible is literally true, remember? Someone's got to actually throw La Palma into the Atlantic for it to count!
1: If by "looks like" you mean "very, very, VERY vaguely has the same general shape as", then I guess you're right.
The book of Revelation was also targeted at Rome, wasn't it?
And please, tell me what horrible, horrible thing the Indonesians did? Were they sitting around in their theme parks and retirement homes not giving to the poor?
Just sayin', but in my religion's lore snakes are symbols of healing. If Florida looks like a snake, and if looking like something bestows the powers of that thing, let's all go to Florida!
God not liking Florida because of the rich people there?
Huh, the way you ultraconservative fundies talk I thought God was some super-capitalist who loved the rich and didn't give a #### about anybody else.
Well this is a first.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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