(In a thread about a Fundie's 20 yr old son giving up his internet use to save himself from all the filth)
"Be careful than your gift of a son does not have one of the orange I-phones. A darling lady in my prayer group has one, and those little boxes have the internet in them! She showed me a pop video of a black lady winding her hips and singing, which she caught her daughter watching. We prayed and prayed and the little girl has not done it again. Praise be!!! "
83 comments
Ahh... paranoid protectiveness, technological illiteracy, with just a hint of racism.
You just know she's a grandma.
You do know that it's not just the orange ones, right?
Oh, and congrats on the stealth racism BTW.
...the orange I-phones. A darling lady in my prayer group has one, and those little boxes have the internet in them!
Only the orange ones, eh?
Amanda: I hope she not only watches it again; I hope she internalizes it so I can see her pole dancing in a few years.
She showed me a pop video of a black lady winding her hips and singing, which she caught her daughter watching. We prayed and prayed and the little girl has not done it again.
I assume before praying you used the I-Phone to watch all the porn that is available on the I-Net (of course only for demonstration purposes, to see for yourself how filthy the things are that you can watch with an I-Phone ;)
*runs out to buy an orange i-Phone*
*stops*
You did say orange, right?
*runs out to nearest Apple Store*
Be careful than your gift of a son does not have one of the orange I-phones. A darling lady in my prayer group has one, and those little boxes have the internet in them!
But only the orange ones. Other colors are safe.
lolz, they have the Internet "in them".
THE INTERNET DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
Though, once they invent wetware interfaces I will enjoy telling people that the Internet is in me. Is it in you?
"those little boxes have the internet in them!"
For some reason, this idiocy reminds me of
INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET
If the internet is so evil, then why are you posting on it?
And psst... Word of advice. Most cell phones now have the internet on them....
Fundies scare me. Reading their posts, it's clear that some of 'em have absolutely no self control. If the 20 year old son doesn't like filth, why doesn't he just stay away from those particular web sites?
Or is that too obvious a solution...?
@Jesus Klingon:
'She's "winding her hips and singing"? Have you seen the 2 girls 1 cup video?'
No that would be fine - although it's, ahem, a little 'riqsue', both women are white! Apparently.
THIS IS THE INTERNET fuckwit!!
There are pop videos, black ladies, and winding hips fucking everywhere, lots of the ladies are white too. Crikey thera are white, black and in between men too - sometimes together!
Get the heck outa here!!
I wonder if she thinks a television set has real little people inside it? And I keep noticing that they all seem to be easily satisfied when it comes to acts of God. In the above, they pray, the little girl hasn't watched the video again, hallelujah, God exists! Whereas for me, something along the lines of seeing all the stars rearranged to spell out the words "I AM GOD. I AM REAL" would be a "praise be" moment.
"one of the orange I-phones"
Orange iPhones??
"those little boxes have the internet in them!"
The iPhone is more like a bar of soap than a box..
"She showed me a pop video of a black lady winding her hips"
Yeah, no, my hips are electrically powered. Wind-ups are so last century.
"We prayed and prayed and the little girl has not done it again"
Yeah, people usually make more of an effort not to get caught after they get caught the first time.
"...those little boxes have the internet in them!"
It's called Wi-Fi, grandma.
"he showed me a pop video of a black lady winding her hips and singing, which she caught her daughter watching."
That's the worst you've seen her doing, be grateful that it is.
Be careful than your gift of a son does not have one of the orange I-phones.
But any other color iphones are ok, right?
"those little boxes have the internet in them"
So if I draw a pentagram on my floor; place my (crappy, cheap-ass, non-internet-capable) phone in the center; and say "I Summon Thee" three times the internet will apear before me and demand my soul?
What an age we live in!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
orange iPhone... black lady... winding... hips and singing...
Oh the world must surely be in the end of days!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A few years ago, she was shitting bricks over Elvis, the Beatles, and the Rolling Stones appearing on Ed Sullivan to the delight of her friend's teenage daughter.
@Luctretius But I didn't think you could get an iPhone on Orange...still, am I assuming this person, if they're not a poe, knows what an iPhone is??
Even if it is a Poe it's still too funny not to be here.
We prayed and prayed and the little girl has not done it again.
Specious reasoning...
Lisa: "This stone keeps tigers away."
Homer: "Ooo! How does it work?"
Lisa: "It doesn't but there are no tigers around, right?"
Homer: "I'll buy twelve!"
Haha, this was me. I was just trolling the rapture ready forum. But thanks for the laughs with your great comments!
(I'm a skeptical atheist who thought it might be fun to troll some fundies)
"a Fundie's 20 yr old son giving up his internet use to save himself from all the filth"
Yet, you're still using it, eh Morrius?
Nope, no hypocrisy on your part, nosiree. [/sarcasm]
"A darling lady in my prayer group has one, and those little boxes have the internet in them!"
'Boxes'? It's Tubes! Lurk more, newfag. [/4chan] X3
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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