Barack OSleeper Cell #fundie

Barack OSleeper Cell #fundie topix.com

How about the liberal version?
Thou shall condemn bigotry (unless of course, it's anti-Christian bigotry).
Thou shall spread disease through deviate gay sex.
Thou shall consider parenthood a condemnation instead of a gift.
Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible.
Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead.
Thou shall hate conservatism, capitalism and hard work.
Thou shall continue to blame George Bush for Obama's mistakes.
Thou shall ignore the threat of terrorism. They're just misunderstood.

65 comments

old comment by The Jamo

Thou shall condemn bigotry (unless of course, it's anti-Christian bigotry).

No, people should condemn ALL bigotry at ALL times, you fucking idiot.

Thou shall spread disease through deviate gay sex.

So all liberals are gay now? Who knew?

Thou shall consider parenthood a condemnation instead of a gift.

Those who are uneducated about the mechanics of sex are also those who are completely emotionally unprepared for parenting and hence should not have children. Would you like me to speak slower, or can you keep up?

Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible.

Nobody is "stealing" elections. The system is democratic, which means that it is run by the people. If a majority votes a certain way, the majority wins. What's your problem?

Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead.

Yeah, because killing people will make them our friends.

Thou shall hate conservatism, capitalism and hard work.

I do hate conservatism and capitalism. As for hard work, I only hate it when it's repetitive and pointless.

Thou shall continue to blame George Bush for Obama's mistakes.

No need; George does a pretty good job of self-mockery already.

Thou shall ignore the threat of terrorism. They're just misunderstood.

The so-called "threat" of terrorism was invented by the Bush government who, likewise, stirred it into being by antagonising certain groups of people. You only have yourselves to blame.

old comment by a mind far far away

Thou shall condemn bigotry (unless of course, it's anti-Christian bigotry).

Yes, because we all know bigotry is a virtue. And liberals are not bigoted against xtians. We just understand that xtianity isn't the only religion out there, and that all have the right to their beliefs and practices.

Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible.

I seem to recall Dubya stealing votes in FL. Pot, meet kettle.

Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead.

Instead, we should go to war with any nation that disagrees with conservative xtianity and democracy, drain our resources, and put our people in shambles for your fucked up ideals. Yeah, that's great. Shithead.

Thou shall hate conservatism, capitalism and hard work.

Hate conservatism? Yes, absolutely. Capitalism; depends. It has it's good points and it's bad points. What I hate is rich white conservatives who take advantage of it to push a greater divide between classes. Hard work? You mean like pastors stealing money off of good natured but naive people telling them god will bless them with perfect health and material success? Yeah, fuck that.

Thou shall continue to blame George Bush for Obama's mistakes.

He's only been president for 3 months. We're fucked because of the eight years of hell of Dubya, the great demi-god of the idiot xtians.

Thou shall ignore the threat of terrorism. They're just misunderstood.

Most of them are. I can honestly say that I have much more Muslim friends than I do xtian friends.

old comment by Zoo

What's wrong with condemning bigotry? Especially when what you're calling "anti-Christian bigotry" is just another case of condemning bigotry. You're free to believe what you like about whoever you'd like. You are not free to force everyone else to follow those beliefs.

I think educated people are all for safe sex whether it's gay or not. You do realize heterosexual sex spreads disease just as well, right?

I'm not cut out to be a parent. Other people are. People who are responsible and want kids are free to have them with my blessing. I personally will not have kids.

I voted all over the place last year. I *gasp* voted for the people I agreed with!

Retaliation works best when you take action against the party that wronged you, not a completely different party. And why the hell shouldn't we try diplomacy? 'Eye for an eye' etc. was old testament. We pick and choose our doctrine, don't we?

*shakes head* You don't know what conservatism is, capitalism needs some regulation *ahem*, and I work just as hard as anybody.

You know Obama's been in office for two months, right? And Bush was in office for eight years, right? Obama hasn't had time for a lot of major mistakes to bear themselves out, but Bush has. Also, the definition of a mistake probably depends (partially) on who you are.

Why'd you repeat that one, and contradict yourself in the process? The threat of terrorism is much less important than retaining freedom. You know that the terrorists win when you're afraid of them, right? Their whole purpose is to INDUCE TERROR.

old comment by John

Thou shall condemn bigotry (unless of course, it's anti-Christian bigotry).

"Christian" is defined as me and the 60 members of my lunatic fringe fundamentalist church in Bumblefuck, Kentucky. Everybody else (Catholics and mainstream Protestants aren't real Christians)

Thou shall spread disease through deviate gay sex.

How are you going to get a disease from gay sex unless you're gay too?

Thou shall consider parenthood a condemnation instead of a gift.

It's fundies who consider it a condemnation for having sex.

Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible.

In 2000, the Supreme Court blocked a recount of the Florida election results that favored Bush.

In the 2004 election, Diebold CEO Walden O'Dell said he was "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president." Diebold was the manufacturer of the voting machines. Bush received a statistically suspicious excess of votes in counties that used touch-screen machines and they showed discrepancies with exit polls.

Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead.

Retaliate against whom? We don't talk to terrorists.

Thou shall hate conservatism, capitalism and hard work.

Because we all know our system pays for hard work [/sarcasm]

Thou shall continue to blame George Bush for Obama's mistakes.

Obama's been President for 12 weeks.

Thou shall ignore the threat of terrorism. They're just misunderstood.

Obama has just committed another 17,000 troops to Afghanistan and $83 billion to the war effort. Bush is the one who ignored terrorism. He wasted almost a trillion dollars screwing around in Iraq to no purpose and has accomplished nothing to protect us from terrorists.

old comment by JonnyTruant

Because we want you to stop forcing your concepts of reality upon others, it's bigotry.
Because disease is spread most through heterosexual sexual encounters, it's to be blamed on homosexuals?
Because we celebrate a woman's right to decide what to do with her own body, we condemn parenthood?
Because we have differing views, follow the Constitution, and honestly win elections, we are the ones stealing elections?
Because we recognize we're partly at fault for the hatred we now receive and want to try to iron out some of those kinks, we are bending over for an assrape?
Because we do support reasonable Capitalism, compensation to match the work done, and have different views on how the country could prosper, we hate you?
Because Bush made mistakes by the dozen and Obama is scrambling to control the damage, it's all his fault?
Because they fight the only way they can against the world's most powerful country and we recognize that we're partly to blame, we're completely ignoring the threat they pose?

Think before you talk, you pre-used jimmy hat.

old comment by Eden

Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible.

Looks like this is more the habit of the republicans, if you look at the elections in 2000 and 2004 ;)

Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead.

"You have learnt how it was said: 'Eye for eye and tooth for tooth.' But I say to you, Offer the wicked man no resistance. If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; if a man takes you to law and would have your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone orders you to go one mile, go two miles with him." Mt. 5.38-41

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy; But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those whose persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Mt. 5.43-46

"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly." Lk. 6.27-28

That´s what Jesus had to say concerning retaliation and violence ;)
So, if you are a christian (and not a worshipper of the old testament who just calls himself a christian) you should be especially eager to find peaceful solutions towards the threat of terrorism ;)

old comment by Mrs. Antichrist

Speaking as someone whose opinions are mostly liberal:

1)Uh, no. I've spent plenty of time defending Christians from unfair stereotypes.
2) No. I'm strongly in favour in using protection to prevent the spread of disease. Thing is, I realize that disease spreads just as quickly through heterosexual sex when one doesn't use a condom. A lot of people, gay and straight alike, only worry about pregnancy. If a girl is on the pill, she figures she can have unprotected sex. If a man is gay, there's no chance of pregnancy, so he doesn't use a condom. Stupidity is present in all sexual orientations. Are you honestly suggesting that anyone WANTS to spread STDs? Or that all liberals are gay?
3) No. Parenthood can be wonderful. I also consider freedom of personal choice to be wonderful too. This may come to a shock as you, but I (and many other pro-choicers) don't always condone abortion. We just happen to feel that we shouldn't condemn it either, and that the decision belongs to the individual alone, no one else. I don't have to agree with someone's decision to respect their right to choose. Oh, and for the record, many pro-choicers are actually 100% against late-term abortion.
4) Every election, where it's a Democrat or Republican win, is subject to conspiracy theories about people stealing the vote. Corruption exists in both liberal and conservative governments, and there will always be scandal. And come on, party loyalty exists in both liberal and conservative circles.
5) No. Thou shall not be a hypocrite when it comes to terroristic means of spreading ones ideas and retaliating to violence. I realize that there are times when war is necessary. While I wasn't please about going to war with Afghanistan (yes, Canada sent troops too), I wasn't opposed to it. Many of us don't see a reason to celebrate war, given that it means that people are DYING. It's a necessary evil.
6) No. We value hard work, and we understand the power of having a large free market. We also understand that having a small public sector is necessary for social justice, however. Speaking as a Canadian citizen, public health care rules... and I still have all my rights intake. Imagine that?
7) Err, actually it seems like it's conservatives that are blaming Obama for Bush's mistakes. At any rate, the attacks on both Bush and Obama have gotten out of hand. People need to learn how to separate dislike for a politician's decisions from hatred for the man himself (or woman, as the case may be).
8) You do realize that the Clinton administration, which was Democratic and thus liberal, handled numerous off-land conflicts very effectively, balancing peace-making with combat fairly well? We know that the middle east is a ticking time bomb. We also know that immediately going war at the drop of a hat is a horrible solution. It takes more than bombs and bullets to fight terrorism. Idiots like you leap to action, figuring that combat is the answer, which basically gives the terrorists what they want -- your country to have an extreme reaction. Violence is only part of the solution, and it's a very small part.

"They're just misunderstood." Seems that way, based on your bizarre interpretation of liberalism. S'up straw man.

old comment by Thinking Allowed

How about the liberal version?
Ok, let's hear it.

Thou shall condemn bigotry (unless of course, it's anti-Christian bigotry).

Ok, it really should read "anti-fundie bigotry". I don't have a problem with christians. One of my closest friends is one. I do however had a huge problem with fundies.

Thou shall spread disease through deviate gay sex.

Guess what group has the fastest growing rate of HIV infection. It's not the homosexuals.

Thou shall consider parenthood a condemnation instead of a gift.

Fail right from the start. Being liberal or conservative doesn't decide what kind of parent you should be.

Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible.

Two words; George Bush.

Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead.

Talking is good. Obama is trying just that because our previous president really fucked things up.

Thou shall hate conservatism, capitalism and hard work.

Nothing wrong with capatalism or hard work. I do have a problem with conservatism. Look at what has happened from the years 2000-2008 in this country.

Thou shall continue to blame George Bush for Obama's mistakes.

Obama has only been in office for 3 months. The bail-outs of banks and auto makers didn't take place during his presidency. The recession and bad economy didn't start during his term. The military and terrorist attacks happened before Obama was even elected. If you call trying to cleam up George's mess mistakes, then I'll take Obama over Dubya anytime.

Thou shall ignore the threat of terrorism.

Opening talks between the middle east and the U.S. is a good thing. It may help prevent terrorism, not be at the heart of it.

They're just misunderstood.

Only if you're a conservative.

old comment by avatar

Thou shall condemn bigotry (unless of course, it's anti-Christian bigotry).

There is being a bigot, and there is disliking rampant stupidity.

Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible.

Okay, someone's quite confused. When I think of election stealing in US, it is not the Democrats that came to mind first. Florida, anyone?

Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead.

Retaliation and problem solving are two very different things. "The problem with an eye for an eye is that it leaves everyone blind." So yes, let's talk.

Thou shall continue to blame George Bush for Obama's mistakes.

OFFS, Obama didn't have time to make any fucking mistakes, you retard.

Thou shall ignore the threat of terrorism. They're just misunderstood.

Er, wrong again. However, the solution is not "Bomb the crap out of them." This only worsens the problem. I know. I'm Turkish. We have Kurdish terrorists in our southeastern regions, and we have been bombing the crap out of them since 1980s. Result: We have even more terrorists, because our bombing the crap out of the area did not endear us to the population.

old comment by EvoPagan

How about the fundie version?

Thou shalt condemn everyone who doesn't attend your tiny evangelical Southern Baptist church.
Thou shall spread disease and teen pregnancy through lack of education and lies.
Thou shall consider parenthood a mission to breed your own troop battalion at the risk of your wife's physical and mental health.
Thou shall worship GOP Jesus and try to steal elections by any means possible.
Thou shall retaliate against anyone who doesn't follow your belief system exactly.
Thou shall hate thy neighbor and refuse to turn the other cheek, completely violating Jesus's teachings.
Thou shall rewrite history so that everything wrong with the USA magically began on January 20, 2009.
Thou shall ignore the terrorism of your loving god. The bible is just misunderstood.

old comment by

"Thou shall condemn bigotry (unless of course, it's anti-Christian bigotry)."
I condemn all bigotry, you guys are just better at it

"Thou shall spread disease through deviate gay sex"
Cause straight people never had aids, whatever

"Thou shall consider parenthood a condemnation instead of a gift. "
Hard to consider something that kills the mother or brought on by rape that can't be supported a 'gift' by any means

"Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible."
I vote for who makes the best sense to me, republicans sound like loons. Steal elections, oh, like Bush in 2000 right? right?

"Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead."
By all means, nail the bastards. Don't go into a country that had nothing to do with any of it, turn it upside down, then bitch they're terrorists because we fucked them up

"Thou shall hate conservatism, capitalism and hard work. "
Conservatism sucks, I like science and advancements. Capitalism in the form you know is broken, thus cannot be employed. I do work hard you slimey buttnut.

"Thou shall continue to blame George Bush for Obama's mistakes. "
what mistakes would those be? is this the economic crash we're going through? How's that Obama's fault?

"Thou shall ignore the threat of terrorism. They're just misunderstood. "
See response to terrorism bitching above

you guys are losing grip with sense and reallity more day by day

old comment by Brain_In_A_Jar

Thou shall hate conservatism, capitalism and hard work.

What proportion of conservative capitalism's elite, the richest, most successful people in our society, would you say were intimately acquainted with the concept of "hard work"?

Hard work is required to take place for capitalism to function and where you find the latter you'll generally find the former, this much is true, but the key to real success in capitalism is not working hard yourself, it's finding a way to cream off the surplus wealth generated by other people's hard work whilst preventing them from either noticing or caring enough to stop you. Sure, you can argue that capitalism was never meant to encourage that but the simple fact is that, in practice, it does.

old comment by Big Jilm

How about the conservative version:

Thou shall be xenophobic.
Thou shall intrude the bedrooms of others
Thou shall commit incest
Thou shall force others to pray the way we pray (or they're Conservative-in-name-only)
Thou shall skim off the top with inherited money (that was never earned) while the workers do all the hard work for peanuts.
Thou shall vote conservative no matter what, even though voting against your own economic interests.
Thou shall continue to blame Clinton for everything, ignore the last 8 years and blame Obama since he's been in office a whole 3 months.
Thou shall increase the threat of terrorism by acting like arrogant bastards, reacting by attacking the wrong countries, and increasing terrorism 10-fold.
Thou shall homeschool children.
Thou shall burn 'them thar books wif words.
Thou shall repress natural urges that turn priests into perverts.

There, fixed.

old comment by JSS

Or the conservative fundy version...

Thall shalt condemn gays and lesbians and deny them equal rights.
Thall shalt bear false witness against thy gay and lesbian neighbors to aid in their discrimination.
Thall shalt condemn abortion in all it's forms, but celebrate the slaughter of babies by God. (Numbers 31:17, Hosea 13:16, Psalms 137:9)
Thall shalt use an ancient book as our final word, as using our brains hurts too much.
Thall shalt nuke or otherwise destroy all countries who dare thwart the revolution of the christo-nazis.
Thall shalt endorse hypocrisy and prejudice by quoting from an old book full of rediculous regulations, most of which we don't even follow, to condemn others. (Leviticus)
Thall shalt blame Obama for all the messes the country is in, even though he's only held office for a few months and good ol' Bush had the entire eight years beforehand.
Thall shalt put on an act as a persecuted minority so we can steal such benefits.
Thall shalt indoctrinate children with teachings of prejudice and hate due to the infallible belief in the "holy" bible.
Thall shalt refer to anyone who disagrees with us as a heretic, heathen, or infidel.

old comment by A. Square

1. Most of us liberals don't care if you're Christian. We do care, however, when you are being a jerk. Except TheAmazingAtheist. We've disowned him pretty hard.
2. I am not gay or a doctor, but I do know that if you get or spread AIDS it's usually by accident.
3. Parenthood IS a gift. We just don't want it when we're a teenager or can't afford to buy instant noodles, let alone diapers.
4. You stole an election already at the start of the millennium. You should have embraced it while it was there, you silly.
5. Well, the U.S. (I'm in Canada) should defend itself, I'll give you that. But they can talk as well as fight, can't they?
6. I'm not against capitalism. I'm just worried that it's not working the way it's supposed to work.
7. They both made mistakes. Bush screwed up more than Obama, however.
8. What? Where are you getting this?

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old comment by

"Thou shall condemn bigotry (unless of course, it's anti-Christian bigotry). "

Anti Christian bigotry being holding Christians to the same standard they hold everyone else to

"Thou shall spread disease through deviate gay sex. "

While conservatives are more for spreading it through anti Vaccination information

"Thou shall consider parenthood a condemnation instead of a gift. "

While conservatives do nothing to help mothers who need it

"Thou shall vote Democrat and try to steal elections by any means possible. "

Through allowing Russia to hack us, voter registration and jerrymandering. Oh wait that's cons too

"Thou shall not retaliate against terrorism. Let's talk instead. "

You do realize cons are awfully quiet when the perp is a Christian conservative right? Plus the whole idea is to try to get them to stop. Terrorism is first and foremost a crime. Cons want to make situations for people to be easier to be recruited into terrorist organisations not unlike a gang.

"Thou shall hate conservatism, capitalism and hard work. "

Cons hate free market when it suits them to do so.

"Thou shall continue to blame George Bush for Obama's mistakes. "

Obama wasn't president until 2008. Which means collapsing economy, 9/11, etc all happened under Bush. You might not be old enough or smart enough to understand that

"Thou shall ignore the threat of terrorism. They're just misunderstood.
"

Again this is wrong and you are awfully quiet when perp isn't brown skinned.

Barack OSleeper Cell #fundie topix.com

65 comments

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