We had a computer for maybe 10-12 years, and ever since we got it (locally built), it had a strange, loud, extremely annoying beep. The guys who built it could not locate, explain or fix the beep. It didn't do it all the time--it followed no rhyme or reason. It was two-tone, high and low an octave apart, like a European police car siren. It might go on for a minute or two, or an hour or two. It might beep every day, or many times a day, or not for weeks or months. It appeared to have nothing to do with any particular program, the internet, or anything else. It would give you a headache, and drove our company nuts--we'd just have to turn it off. (One asked, "Do you have something in the microwave?" LOL) After many years, another outfit was working on it, and when we asked them about the beep, they could not explain it either, but disabled the part of the computer that made the noise so that we could no longer hear it, even if it was still happening.

Since no one could explain the mystery, I came up with my own explanation: The government has a secret chip they install in all motherboards so that they can listen to us. It's so secret that even the computer manufacturers don't know about it. In our case, the chip malfunctioned, but since it was secret, no one knew it was there, so no one could find or fix it.

Now I see I was probably right.

Now that I know they are there, sometimes when I'm talking on the phone, especially if the conversation is about something that I think may interest them, I tell them hi, that I know they're there, that Jesus loves them, and that I hope they read the Bible because that's where all the answers are.