Nicholas the Christian Soldier #fundie

Nicholas the Christian Soldier #fundie answers.yahoo.com

I am tired of walking and my feets hurt.

I need wings to fly and stop walking so I can evolve.

The evolution fairy will let me evolve and fly rather than walk.

See how stupid evolution sounds when it's clear and concise?

Don't be ignorant.

Don't let yourself be fooled by evolution fairy tales

Read the BIBLE.

84 comments

old comment by fundiesRtehlulz

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old comment by Reverend Jeremiah

As an American, I wish to apologize to every non-American who happens to read this thread. Yes, it is true that America has many Christians living in it. Yes, it is true that America has enough fundamentalists to rival third world nations. But it is NOT true that all of America is like dumbass Nicholas up there. Some of us Americans take GREAT pride in our scientific past and would love to see it return to the present.

When I went to school in the 70's and 80's I dont EVER remember them teaching me evolution..ever. I do remember one time, in 9th grade the "science" teacher wrote on the board:

"Theories of Origin: Evolution and Creationism."
They spent more time talking about Creationism than science, the only things I heard about evolution were from the creationist standpoint of lies, and frankly I had to teach myself about evolution when I got out of highschool and became an atheist. Its funny really, they say teaching evolution to students will make them atheist, but I turned out atheist and they managed to keep it from me my entire gradeschool period.

old comment by Blackclaw

You were not born with a mutation that proved to be beneficial when it comes to motion.

However, you may have been born with a gene that limits your capacity to understand complex subjects. While most of us do not see this as a "beneficial" gene, in nature all that matters is the likelyhood of you being able to find a mate and being able to pass your DNA on. On a given Bible college, the inability to understand complex issues may be an attractive trait that increases your chances of having children thus the "ignorance" gene has the possibility of becoming more widespread and dominate. This could lead to an evolutionary trait in certain human population where brain size actually decreases.

Having already been born with a given set of genes, you personally will never evolve.

old comment by Jasper Spotty-Butt

Read the bible you say. Well, if it means I'd have to be as completely banal as you, then no thanks.

If that's the sort of trite example you can come up with then you've got a lot to learn. However, here's the facts:-

There is no god, it definitely doesn't exist.
The bible contains errors and is inconsistent.
The bible is useless as a guide to anything.
The bible is immoral and unethical.
There is no heaven and there is no hell.
There are no angels, demons, and devils or satan.
Religions are evil and primitive.

Fundie thoughts on the matter are, as they prove time and time again, crude and worthless. The humourless fundie outlook on life is reflected in their primitive, ape-like attitude to all normal human affairs.

Totally lacking in imagination and zest for life, fundies lazily prefer to let the bible, a tome of unparalleled stupidity, be their main source of learning and the justification for their immense idiocy.

old comment by Grigadil

"I am tired of walking and my feets hurt."

So, ride your ass into town. That's why saddles were invented.

"I need wings to fly and stop walking so I can evolve."

Supposedly, you get wings when you die, but I don't trust any of the sources of that fairy tale. Evolve into a rotting corpse, yowza!

"The evolution fairy will let me evolve and fly rather than walk."

Who? What? How?

"See how stupid evolution sounds when it's clear and concise?"

I see how stupid Nicholas sounds when he tries to be intelligent.

"Don't be ignorant."

Back atcha.

"Don't let yourself be fooled by evolution fairy tales"

Like yours.

"Read the BIBLE."

...for your mandated daily dose of bronze-age goatfuckery.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

"I am tired of walking and my feets hurt."

My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus.

"I need wings to fly and stop walking so I can evolve."

Yet, James Bond uses a jetpack (in "Thunderball"). And in "You Only Live Twice", Bond is killed, and is resurrected. Indeed, in "Die Another Day", Bond is tortured far worse (and longer) by the North Koreans than Jesus was by the Romans, and he comes out of it relatively unscathed (even looking like Jesus too):

image

"The evolution fairy will let me evolve and fly rather than walk."

You'll have to ask 'Q'.

"See how stupid evolution sounds"

'I never joke about my work, 007'

-'Q'

"when it's clear and concise?"

'Americans hate complexity'

-Stephen Fry, "Stephen Fry in America"

"Don't be ignorant.

Don't let yourself be fooled by evolution fairy tales"

Oh wow, A definite case of 'NO U' here. And why?:

"Read the BIBLE."

I have. Ergo...:

image

QED, bitch.

“I am tired of walking and my feets hurt.”
which is why we invented chairs. have a sits.

“I need wings to fly and stop walking so I can evolve.”
‘need’ is not the origin of evolution.
Individuals do not evolve.

“The evolution fairy will let me evolve and fly rather than walk.”
No, not even hypothetically.
The only fairy tale is from people who are pretty fucking ignorant of evolution but still try to mock it.

“See how stupid evolution sounds when it's clear and concise?”
You’re wrong and you sound wrong. Pretty straightforward.

“Don't be ignorant.”
Funny, coming from you.

“Don't let yourself be fooled by evolution fairy tales”
I’m not. YOU are fooled by creationist bullshit, though.

“Read the BIBLE.”
Did. Wasn’t impressed.
Also, has zip nada to say against evolution.

Nicholas the Christian Soldier #fundie answers.yahoo.com

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