I know you said to excluded meeting Jesus but...
..I have been so infatuated with the story of the woman who cried on Jesus' feet and wiped them with her hair.
28 comments
Ewwwwwww
In my best Jim Varney impersonation.
The sickest thing I think isn't even this Divinity fetish.
And the Father, I don't know if we will be able to touch Him. I want to highly show my appreciation of Him. To really elaborate on that I need to go into my history with "father figures".
Well, thank you. Your comment just creeped me out more than most of the horror films I've seen, and I'm an aficionado in regard to that particular genre.
I'll let it be.
You should have let that shit be before you fapped it all over your keyboard, hon. It's way too late to un-trigger my gag reflex.
"I need to go into my history with "father figures""
Let me translate for everyone:
I converted after ten years of dancing at the Pink Poodle and having many sponsors ....I mean dating much older men.
BWAAAAAH!! H'what in the hell did you just say about me, you got danged giblet head? I'll have you know i graduated top of my class at Arlen high in propane and propane and propane accessories, and I have been involved in numerous Vogner Char King sales extravaganzas, and I have over 300 confirmed sales. I am trained in BTU calibration and I'm the top assistant manager in all of Heimlich County. You are nothing to me but just another valued customer. I will fill up your propane tank with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my got danged words. You think you can get away with saying that asinine garbage about propane on the internet? Think again, you little weasel. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of propane truck drivers across the USA and your address is being traced right now so you better prepare for the convoy, you big baby. The convoy that refills the pathetic little thing you call your propane tanks. You're all filled, you damn moron. I can be anywhere, anytime, and i can service your propane need in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am i extensively trained in propane tank calibration, but i have access to the entire arsenal of the Texas propane gas association and i will use it to its full extent to wipe your charcoal loving ass off the face of the continent, you little bastard. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your damn tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you got danged idiot. I will kick your ass so hard you won't be able to sit for a month. You're dead, I tell ya h'what.
I don't know if we will be able to touch Him
Rumor has it Jesus charges money for autographs in heaven. You might get to 'touch' the Father for free, depending on how you 'touch' him.
Ooook? Nobody really wanted to know about you foot fetish.
@Hank Hill
Mr. Hill, do you transport propane to Ravnica? I need several thousand gallons for.. uh.. "heating" purposes. Yeah, "heating" purposes. Nothing suspicious about it at all. And definitely not for an experimental death ray, nope, not at all
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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