wtf is “compulsory sexuality”????
like how is that even a legitimate term if you remove the hetero factor from it?
why do aroaces insist on taking/modifying lesbian experience language and grafting it onto their own lexicon with the hopes that it will SOMEHOW still be an equatable experience?
when will this STOP?
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Silk Screen on T-shirt seen in Provincetown:
My Family is More Dysfunctional than Your Family
Suggestion: My Subgroup is More Marginalized than Your Subgroup
Imagine constantly being expected to perform socially as if you were potentially sexually interested in someone whom you could never be interested in.
To a limited extent, that's the typical female experience in many societies. To a greater extent, that's the typical gay/lesbian experience. To the greatest extent, that's the aro-ace experience.
But no, they don't count because they're just silly heteros who can end their abuse at any time by giving up their lack of attraction. So lesbians are superior, because reasons.
Compulsory sexuality is my grandmother asking for a full family meeting (16 of us altogether) four days after I came out to my family as asexual so she can amend her will in front of everyone to say that, while my brother and my two first cousins will receive money and land when she passes away, my heirloom will be a nicely painted wooden box with a pair of matching pillows, duvets, and linens - but only if I marry within a year after she dies (if I do not, the set will automatically go to my niece, who is currently five years old, to be given to her when she marries) - and then giving me one of THOSE smiles and telling me that she's publicly humiliating me so that she could light a fire under my ass and make me 'abandon my silliness', while my entire family, save for my brother, nods in agreement and tells me that I have no right to feel hurt, disappointed, or rejected by my own flesh and blood because 'it's for my own good' and they're all just employing some 'tough love' in an attempt to 'stop me from ruining my life'.
No one is saying that people whose sexuality is more visible don't have it much worse than aroaces do, but if you have to dismiss the bad things that happen to people of sexual orientations other than yours to feel better about the bad things you're being made to suffer for your own, than our existence is not what's taking away your peace.
@Hu's On First - Yeah, it's a very poorly constructed term, but it does the job for the time being.
IS it a legitimate term? I've never heard it before.
It will STOP when you stop bothering about the sexuality of other people, and focus on being happy in your life.
@Swede - Compulsory sexuality is a term used to describe the assumption that all people are sexual/romantic by nature and the enforcement of social norms, institutions, and practices which maintain the belief that everyone should have or should at the very least want to have frequent sex and be engaged in sexual/romantic relationships.
To my knowledge, it is not the official term (or the official definition), just the one used within the community and by various academics, but there is a rising push to make it official (there's even been a short article about it in the Stanford Law Review a few years ago).
My family is of the "We want you to be happy, but on our terms" school of thought, so... yeah. There's that too. But in this case, I am specifically being punished for not being straight and interested in having relationships that might eventually end in marriage.
@SarcasticPumpkin & @Prager: Generally, "aro/ace" is the umbrella term encompassing both, but "aro-ace" means someone who is both (as about 40% of aces are also aro). Without a hyphen or slash, the term becomes more ambiguous.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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