I think we all see plainly you are full of bitterness and maybe rage, Bitter and angry because you are black. Bitter and angry because you are a woman. bitter and angry because you are seriously ill. And you have constructed a world around you to blame - all the evil Jesus, Christians, men, big oil, Republicans, etc have done to you.

But at least parts of the world you have constructed are pure fiction. Take, for example, this comment.

ALL of the Gospels were written before the Roman conquest of Jerusalem in 70AD. ALL were written by those whose names appear on them, and who personally knew Jesus. These are first-hand accounts. Acts is a detailed historical document.

As for the supposedly "missing" "gospels" ...

The world was awash in forgeries at the time. Literally hundreds of supposed 'gospel accounts' were circulating - some falsely attributed to the Apostles, some to others (like Mary). The CC, in assembling what we know as the Bible, focused almost exclusively on weeding out the forgeries and false documents - not on justifying their power, as some who hate the CC or Christianity like to claim. The criteria used are pretty well known - and are what, I think, most would use if they were trying to sift through writings to select those that are real.

For some reason you want to act as if other writings are legitimate. That's again part of the world you have constructed. Believe whatever you want - it does not alter my life in any way, for either the better or the worse. But from your own words, I'd say there is a good chance you are one angry and bitter individual ... so, if true, the question that makes most sense if this: How is that world you have constructed working out for you?