[A thread discussing the immanency of the rapture]
Oh yea!!! Let me put it this way... I just lost a filling in a tooth, but I won't schedule an appointment until after the Fall feasts have come and gone... That's what I think of as imminent!!
54 comments
Any minute now, right? Yep. Aaaaaaany minute. You'd better be careful because Rapture Ready frowns upon "date setting".
Oh and you do realize that Jesus told his disciples he'd be back within their lifetimes, don't you?
Wow, what an oddly apt descriptor...
Shambling, brainless, and dead to the world
HAHAHAHAHA! Oh well, prepare for some serious pain then.
These people really will get raptured; by the grace of their own stupidity they will all die, each under a set of very weird circumstances. This fine specimen will, no doubt, die of septic shock.
THE END IS NIGH! RUN FOR THE HILLS!
God find recorded sermons from your cult ceremonies from the last 30 years or so.
1980: "Aaaaaaany day now. Rock music is a sign."
Let me put it this way.
I got braces a while back.
I'm going to have straight teeth.
The Rapture, however, will NEVER happen.
Never. *sigh*
*cries*
Oh no, people!!
Rupture Ready is just too easy now! It's pure fundie idiocy with absolutely no redeaming features and very few shafts of insight (the authors of which are usually attacked).
It's like shooting fish in a barrel; not really a sport anymore, and worth posting only to demonstrate the extreme FAIL of these idiots
Oh, Gods, how awful! They don't need gays or Pagans or Muslims or atheists or anyone else to hurt them. They do it to themselves, and they don't even see it.
Those fall feasts are going to be SO much fun for you, with you trying to eat those fantastic meals on only one side of your mouth. Be careful when drinking the iced tea; the pain of it hitting an exposed tooth nerve is like having a small stick of dynamite explode in your mouth.
Seriously, wouldn't it make a heck of a lot more sense to get the dental work done BEFORE the fall feasts? If you're raptured right afterward anyway, who cares if it's with the filling or without?
Well, I tell ya, Bucko, get yourself a little infection up in those nerves and it will make hell seem like a kiddies' wading pool.
Huh...am I the only finding the irony in the "zombie" monicher? Last I checked, the zombie concept originated as part of Voodoo, which is the most ebil of all teh ebil religions out there(it's Witchcraft, Satanism, Athiesm, Islam and every false religion rolled into to one big ball of evil)
"I lost a filling from my tooth..JESUS IS COMING ANY MINUTE NOW..GLORY..OWWW..GLORY..OWWW!"
Oh yeah, well I just poored out a bowl of fruit loops (not the fundy kind) and noticed that 3 of them were stuck together...ITS A SIGN THAT JESUS IS COMING BECAUSE THATS A TRINITY! I just stood by my soggy bowl of cereal with my arms stretched out for an hour waiting for Jebus to rapture me!
"Oh yea!!! Let me put it this way... I just lost a filling in a tooth, but I won't schedule an appointment until after the Fall feasts have come and gone... That's what I think of as imminent!!"
The Online Oxford English Dictionary defines 'Imminent' as (emphasis added):
imminent (im¦mi|nent):
adjectiveabout to happen
http://oxforddictionaries.com
And the OED is the definitive lexicon of the English language.
This quote was from 2008. It's now 2010. I think all those days from then to today certainly can't be called 'imminent' eh, somekindofzombie & everyone on Ruptured Retards? Will you be saying the same in ten years time?
Whilst you chew on that, remember this, Ruptured Retards: Every day the (C)Rapture hasn't happened, is one more day we Atheists are proved right.
@Reverend Jeremiah
"I lost a filling from my tooth..JESUS IS COMING ANY MINUTE NOW..GLORY..OWWW..GLORY..OWWW!"
@Ling
"Have you been raptured yet? Or is that tooth still hurting?"
image
Is it safe?
>:D
It's now 1st October 2010 and the score remains:
Rapture 0 - Toothache 1
Unless zombie finally came to his/her senses sometime in the last two years. Agonising toothache can get a bit much even for rapture retards, I would think.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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