" If you want to use your Bible as a weapon.."
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the SWORD of the SPIRIT which is the WORD OF GOD
"then you better preach that the Biblical definition of marriage being "one man and one or more women with or without their consent"
Jesus made the matter clear and final when he said one man one woman. It's not my job to show you where it is said in the Bible but your job to discover that yourself. I believe you message relates to the OT laws, and that subject has been discussed too many times here.
"Every person who has died is currently in their graves waiting for the 2nd coming of Jesus. Some of the dead have been there a long time!"
That I'll agree with, but for them, the second coming will be instantaneous. Praise God and his infinite power!!!!
31 comments
"14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the SWORD of the SPIRIT which is the WORD OF GOD"
What, no underpants of righteousness?
Good for you, you can pick up on keywords and supply a pre-written response! Pretty soon, you might pass the turing test.
I was going to make a comment about how you were less Homer of Greece and more Homer Simpson, but even Homer Simpson would be embarrassed to say this stuff.
@ Flnerdo: magic underwear? What are you, a heretical Mormon!?!
the SWORD of the SPIRIT which is the WORD OF GOD
Are you sure Homer, that you want to take this stance? As can be plainly seen from multiple posts here, that SWORD is two-edged and the WORD OF GOD has been used very effectively against people like you.
I believe you message relates to the OT laws, and that subject has been discussed too many times here.
Meaning, that you have been cut by that same SWORD and have no refutations.
there are many reliable sources you can go to to help you understand all of this.
Citation is seriously fucking needed.
"the second coming will be instantaneous."
Except that it's late.
@Flanderso
They get in the way of fundie fapping and pulling things out of their ass.
@Ivurm
Bibleman was such camp crap that MadTvs Bibledude seemed sensible compared to it.
Even with all the drek put out by these "Christian entertainment" groups I couldn't believe it wasn't a joke the first time I saw it.
++"It's not my job to show you where it is said in the Bible but your job to discover that yourself."
Translation: "I can't find where it says that in the Bible but I'm gonna assume it's in there somewhere and you better believe me or else".
Also that exact thing IS your job, as a matter of fact.
++"Praise God and his infinite power!!!!"
The power to wait around and NOT do anything?
++"there are many reliable sources you can go to"
You really shouldn't use words you don't know the meaning of.
So, you admit you aren't actually going to back up your bullshit? Right after putting words in Jesus's mouth no less... You'd best pray the second coming takes a while. He'll have some choice words for asshats like you.
Now, if you want to use the bible as a weapon, get a nice, stainless steel case with a lock and a mount for a strap, forge a bit of chain and attach it to the mount, affixing a handle to the other end. Now, affix either spikes or flanges to your steel case (be sure to use similar quality steel!).
There, you now have a Bible flail! Go practice with it in your yard. Without protective gear.
most people who have died never got graves. they, by and large, got recycled in the carbon and nitrogen cycles.
some bits of them are probably part of you, right this moment.
First of all, the Bible is just a sub-weapon, and it costs hearts to use. It's pretty decent though, Better than the hourglass at least.
Jesus made the matter clear and final when he said one man one woman. It's not my job to show you where it is said in the Bible but your job to discover that yourself.
Yet two lines further up, you quote a chunk of the Bible including the verse numbers. One thing Jesus did make clear, in the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30) is what he thought of laziness...
"Jesus made the matter clear and final when he said one man one woman. It's not my job to show you where it is said in the Bible ..."
No, because then it would become obvious that when Jesus said that He wasn't defining marriage, as you falsely claim, but discussing a specific question about divorce.
But then, if you didn't cherry pick and completely change the context of His words, you'd have no reasons to hate instead of obeying His commands to love.
I'm sure there's something else in the Bible about bearing false witness. I seem to remember another bit close to that about not taking the Lord's name in vain too. Claiming that He said something He didn't to make YOUR point definitely seems like a bit of both.
You have a "reliable source" for the second coming of Jesus? Let me guess....it's the bible, isn't it? You know what'll happen because the bible says so. And you believe the bible because the bible says to believe the bible, round and round like a dog chasing its tail. And you can't quote chapter and verse on that marriage thingy because you didn't know where it is, but you think it's in there somewhere or other.
You are basing your entire LIFE on an untrustworthy collection of old tales, translated and retranslated again and again, and none of it written in the supposed time of Jesus. The fact remains: you cannot get reliable truth from an unreliable and unverifiable source.
The Bible may prove an effective weapon against the heathens by sending them to an endless slep induced by boredom.
" It's not my job to show you where it is said in the Bible but your job to discover that yourself."
No? Well, it's your job to show how the Bible is relevant and truthful enough to warrant us to give it any heed. So far it has failed spectacularly when correlated against reliable history, science, and logic. Its prophecies have failed. It seems to me that it is of little worth outside understanding of culture and theology. If you want it to be seen as God's word, then research and show us the evidence. Until then, we can continue disregarding it with regards to your concerns over homosexuality.
"If you want to use your Bible as a weapon.."
....What? Bonk people on the head with a book?
Django Unchained who would pin Bible pages on his shirt.
Jesus: "But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife." c.f. OT: "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
How do either of these preclude two men or two women marrying? They just say if a man and woman marry, they should leave their parents and stay together as one. It's a prohibition against divorce, not same sex marriage.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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