3-24-13 Palm Sunday
I'm going to keep my day job, but wow. Just saying. Maranatha!
50 comments
A lot of people, a lot of cultures, a lot of history, a lot ofstuff going on in the world every day. You can always find something that fits in with your crazy cult's "prophecies".
"3-26-13 thru 4-2-13 Passover"
(A little off topic) I just have one question about this Passover. What exactly did the first born Egyptian children do to warrant being slaughtered by a mass murdering god? So far, no one has been able to give me an answer that doesn't make god sound like the most immoral, sadistic bastard of all time.
And the point of all this is...?
Easter syncing with Passover, how often does that happen?
Um, all the fucking time? If you read the bible story, Jesus was crucified during or just before Passover.
Easter syncing with Passover, how often does that happen?
In 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006, 2007, 2009 through 2015, and 2017 through 2021.
Research, do some.
The date of Easter is calculated according to the date the paschal moon appears. Easter is supposed to sync with Passover, you fool.
And what does the assassination of Julius Caesar have to do with anything?
"That's not some weird Illuminati number is it?"
I knew it was from Rapture Ready as soon as I saw this.
"I'm going to keep my day job, but wow. Just saying. Maranatha!"
You people on Rapture Ready are far too excitable.
"(A little off topic) I just have one question about this Passover. What exactly did the first born Egyptian children do to warrant being slaughtered by a mass murdering god? So far, no one has been able to give me an answer that doesn't make god sound like the most immoral, sadistic bastard of all time. "
According to the Christians, that was before their god sent his son to save humanity, when he still was a jerk who hated human beings and treated us pretty shittily. Only after Jesus did God love us again.
According to the Jews, their god is actually cruel and vicious sometimes and he plays favorites and hurts people who don't deserve it just because, and they worship him not for his great love but for the fact that he is all-powerful.
According to the Muslims, God don't care about no heathen babies anyway.
Seeing the "Obama Visits Israel" & "Ides of March" parts, I think what this nut's implying is that Obama's going to get assassinated.
Amidst all the wacky word/number-salad gematria jib jab is a nefarious, "Obama's gonna get killed, woohoo!" message.
@ fmitchell:
Not to mention that the third season of Game Of Thrones starts on March 31st. It can’t be a coincidence!
@Imminent: 3-24-13 Palm Sunday
You are aware that these holidays are this close together every year? Palm Sunday is always the Sunday before Easter Sunday and Good Friday is always the Friday before Easter Sunday.
Are you also surprised that New Year’s Eve is one week after Christmas Eve every year?
Since the whole, "Three days dead and resurrected" thing was a Temple Secret mnemonic for the Winter Solstice that got kicked around to the Vernal Equinox by people who wanted to obscure that relationship (and tie it in with the Passover), none of this is earth-shaking at all - except the earthquake thing.
Full Moon - at least once a month, whether we need one or not.
Ides (Pronounced, "E-Des") of March: See also Vernal Equinox.
And, you left out the most Armageddon-esque one of all: 3-17-13 SAINT PATRICK'S DAY! Patron saint of binge alcoholics, from all appearances.
Woohoo! When you add up the 1st column it's 31 which is 13 backwards and 13 is my birthday. Then when you add up the 2nd column it's the number of presents I'm going to get. And, the last column is all 13s. What are the odds that all of the dates you cite this March would be in the same year? Whee!
I'm going to get a blow job. Just saying.
"3-23-13 H.R. Bill 3200 RFID but only if you're a stupid moron who is ignorant of the fact that the Bill was rejected so nothing in it means a damned bloody thing and it was talking about making a fucking list of people who had things like false hips and pacemakers put in so it's easier to do recall/replacements in the future and the image of a RFID that is used to scare people is a Blood Glucose Monitor for people with Diabetes that was unveiled in 2007 but none of that matters because RAPTURE!!!!!!1!!!1!"
*ahem* Fixed it for them.
I'm going to keep my day job, but wow. Just saying.
You do that, nothing will happen this year or next year or the year after or... You will die clambering to the idea of "Real Soon Now"!
Maranatha!
Marinara!
"I'm going to keep my day job, but wow. Just saying. Maranatha!"
WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR FAITH "IMMINENT" ?
PUT UP OR SHUT UP, LIKE WALTER "666" SLONOPAS.
JUST SAYING.
FAHRVERGNÜGEN !
Remember, God 'hardened Pharoah's heart' so he'd have an excuse to do it.
There's also the question of how despite God killing Egypt's livestock three times (by disease in the fifth plague, by hail in the seventh and then the firstborn of the livestock in the tenth) the Egyptians still follow the Israelites across the opened Red Sea in chariots. Pulled by what?
Nearly
People, there's no point getting outraged over a fictional atrocity.
Oh wait, these are the people who think a character saying racist things means the writer thinks like that.
3-29-13 Good Friday
All I can say is: wow! The Illuminati, Santa Claus and Clifford the Dog sure got some plans in store for this year! Same ol' same ol'. Maranatha!
@ArcticKnight
Well, being raised Reform/Secular Jewish I was always taught that God is an angry, spiteful, vindictive son of a bitch. So the reason he butchered the Egyptian children to punish Pharoah was literally for no reason at all.
Like another poster said above me, Jews don't worship God because it is a loving being, but because it is all powerful.
Does your employer know you are using his computer for private purposes?
Well, you may think he doesn't, but computers in an office network inform on their users.
have a good day.
"(A little off topic) I just have one question about this Passover. What exactly did the first born Egyptian children do to warrant being slaughtered by a mass murdering god? So far, no one has been able to give me an answer that doesn't make god sound like the most immoral, sadistic bastard of all time. "
According to the Christians, that was before their god sent his son to save humanity, when he still was a jerk who hated human beings and treated us pretty shittily. Only after Jesus did God love us again.
According to the Jews, their god is actually cruel and vicious sometimes and he plays favorites and hurts people who don't deserve it just because, and they worship him not for his great love but for the fact that he is all-powerful.
According to the Muslims, God don't care about no heathen babies anyway.
@Mech610
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that story also say that God first tells Moses to ask the Pharaoh to release his people, yet at the same time imparts the information that He will make the Pharaoh obstinate and cause him to refuse this request? (i.e. He's pretty much setting the Pharaoh, not to mention the rest of Egypt, up for divine punishment right from the start). If so, one wonders who exactly He is trying to impress.
but wow. Just saying
Yeah, I can see it now:
When that "rapture" thingy happens and everybody starts bitching about it, God's gonna say "hey, look, I warned you guys, the signs were clear as could be, sorry if you were to dense to see them. Jeez, gimme a break."
@dionysus
thats very meaningful , after all the months 8,9,10 are sequential and 10 - 8 = 2 (I will explain that in a minute.
the year 13. 3-1 = 2 (how amazing is that ! )
5, 19, 17 Ok, this is complex , stay with me.
19 - 5 = 12 the number of months in a year.
This MUST be a PROPHECY of the end times. Prepare your sauces everyone , the Noodly one returns !
#1504423
3-30-13 new episodes of Doctor Who start.
#1504435
@ fmitchell:
Not to mention that the third season of Game Of Thrones starts on March 31st. It can’t be a coincidence! Crossover for that date, well then!
Saint Matilde, the saint that bears my name, 3-14-2013.............you know, following your logic and applying numbers............
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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