What you should REALLY consider, Tim, is the following:
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Deliverance from alcoholism and explosive temper: Either you realized (subconciously or not) that you were acting immature and decided to sober/grow up, or you had sought help elsewhere and failed to mention it.
Miraculous learning of English: uh-huh... and... you had never heard English before? People absorb much more than they realize; if you learned English quickly, then this is most likely the reason. I doubt you learned it in the blink of an eye. If you did, how about getting God to do the same for you with another language? Ancient Hebrew or something?
Healing of warts: how long had you had the warts before they disappeared? They *do* tend to heal, you know...
Healing of a broken bone (instantaneous): mmhmmm... it wasn't broken in the first place, darling. Sometimes other hurts and pains hurt more than an actual break, at least at first. Funny how it happened to your dad, and not you, anyway. Did it magically knit straight, too, without being set? Because, really, some breaks would add an entirely new angle in a person's body...
"Deliverance from alcoholism" ... there was a southpark episode on that.
"And explosive temper" ... hitting your wife to vent your insecure little inferiority complex is not a cure.
"Learning of English" ... what's the blink of an eye to you? though with the level of intelligence we deal with around here these days you might not have KNOWN it was english you'd been learning all these years... though I kinda call bullshit on this.
"Healing of Warts" ... I've never had a wart. I don't know how fast they can heal but if its as quick as acne, I've got pretty good skin, and when younger, a button appearing in the evening or morning was usually gone by the next day. Not picking at it helped.
"Healing of a broken bone" ... I call serious bullshit, or you're thinking a cast is his new bone.
That's nothing! Yesterday, my head was chopped off by the spinning propellor of a helicopter that had just landed in my back yard where I was doing some gardening. Fortunately - in the blink of an eye - before my head hit the ground I was able to call out for Jay-zuss and my head was instantly knitted back on top of my neck.
What? You don't believe me?
But, I said it and now (as in the blink of an eye) it's posted on the Internet. That makes it just as credible as JAM's claims.
The explosive temper that was just because you were a mean drunk once stop drink your temper went and the real you came out.
"But I'll tell you what he has done in mine. Among the highlights:
Deliverance from alcoholism and explosive temper, miraculous learning of English (as in the blink of an eye), healing of warts (overnight disappearance), healing of a broken bone (my dad, instant knitting), among others."
What a nice little list. Too bad you can't show that these incidents were actually caused by God.
That's probably wise. As your evidence for your previous claims was non-existent, I might not believe these other "well-documented" claims either.
If Jesus inspired you to stop drinking and calm down, then your belief did you some good.
Warts can disappear overnight - or at least fairly quickly. Years ago, I had one that disappeared after working on my motorcycle. Maybe it was Jesus, but I think it was more likely the oil and gasoline that was ground into my hands.
"Instant knitting" is more likely misdiagnosis.
Why is it that the bible god is wonderful at healing warts, broken bones, personality issues, etc. but never steps in to prevent something big like an earthquake or tsunami?
No, I wouldn't label any of them coincidences; I would call them all acheivements that you've made on your own, and possibly with the help of friends and family. It is impossible for any instant healing of bones nad warts however, which leads me to believe that you are making this into more then it really is. Take responsiblity and blame for your own actions instead of pretending you are being watched from above by an invible man.
All the other nonsense aside...
miraculous learning of English
I thought the fundie god had a grudge against learning other languages?
Counseling/self-help, lie, common for warts, lie. Followed by a vague promise of lies.
Evidence, please, or I call bullshit.
Well, the invisible pink unicorn granted me temporary x-ray vision, regrew one of my legs, teleported me to China and back, gave me a dog and brought me back from death.
Instant knitting, eh?
*hoists sledgehammer*
Care to prove it?
I learnt Greek in 1 year and I, as a Catholic, believe that it was my intellect. For the rest, you're lying or you attribute normal things to everyday events. Ah, and don't make us believe that JW don't know what God has done in their lives. They're so annoying because they think that God has saved them.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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