"...moderate Muslims are too quiet, too reluctant to become a force for reform within the larger Muslim community."
This is a perfectly reasonable statement. A similar argument could be made with regard to Christians if it weren't for the Christian privilege in this country. It already prevents most people from automatically stereotyping all Christians as radical nutjobs or looking upon them with suspicion, despite the fact that there is small but very vocal minority of Christians who are hellbent on bombing abortion clinics, oppressing LGBT people, and legally instituting the Christian equivalent of Sharia law.
"Kinda hard to be zealous when what you're wanting to preach is anti-zealotry"
It is a fallacy to assume that most Muslims are fundamentalist zealots, while those who aren't fundamentalist zealots exist simply because they don't take anything seriously enough to be passionate about it. Muslims are no more or less radical than Christians, and their level of radicalism does not correlate with their conviction in their faith or their capacity for empathy with others any more or less than those things correlate for Christians.
"What's the appeal? To be more like a secular America?"
No. The appeal is everybody getting along, respecting one another, and having the freedom to live their best life free from impediments based on the real-world equivalent of high-school cliques. One way of achieving that is by respecting members of all faiths (or the lack thereof), which requires having a secular government that does not favor or disfavor any religion (or the lack thereof). Proving (or disproving) any particular religion is more or less, by definition, impossible. Religion also has no bearing whatsoever on our current life in the physical world, aside from the presence of fundamentalists who are unwaveringly determined to force their religion on everyone at any cost.
"We can't even tell men from women anymore..."
Why the hell does it even matter?
"...and we'd rather kill 800,000 kids a year than discourage or, God forbid, restrict wanton sex."
You claim to care so much about unborn babies, but once they're actually born, but after they are born, they can fuck off and die for all you care, because if you have anything to say about it, they ain't gettin' no welfare check offa ur taxpayer dime. Infant mortality is not "pro-life" in any sense of the word.
Also, how does "we can't even tell men from women anymore" even factor into this? Wouldn't "wanton" gay sex be better than "wanton" straight sex if that means fewer abortions? And if you're straight, wouldn't having sex with an androgynous man be easier than having sex with a manly man? What's wrong with "wanton" sex, anyway, if sex education and access to contraceptives prevent unwanted pregnancies and abortions?