I wonder if Jesus gets goose bumps thinking about the rapture.
57 comments
Of course he does! After all, he doesn't even know when it's going to happen or whether he actually wants to spend the rest of eternity with a bunch of loonies.
Man, I just got goosebumps.
Yes!! In abject terror. Also, his hair stands on end. When you get to heaven and see a shivering, freaked out hippie wandering around, don't be shocked, that's just Jesus.
I like to imagine Jesus on a giant celestial leash, biting and snapping with flecks of rabies-hot spittle foaming out of His mouth, begging for His Father to release the chains that keep him from bringing armageddon and destroying the earth.
Goosebumps? Eh, butterflies in the stomach, maybe. From Jesus's side of it, the rapture would probably be like a public speaking obligation.
Oh I do, I really really do. It's gonna be so awesome !!! First I'm gonna take you all out for frosty chocolate milkshakes, then we're gonna go to pizza hut, then we're gonna play on teh waterslides !! I have a new Disney DVD we can watch, it's one of those straight to DVD sequels to the ones from the 30's but it's got Robin Williams in so it should still be good !!
Then again, maybe you should just grow up and stop waiting for the daddy figure in the sky to come back and buy you that pony you always wanted. Nah !! I'm just kiddin' ya, I'll get you that pony, I'll buy you anything you want because I'm Jebus and I only exist to satisfy every possible desire of my little fluffy wuffy lubbly wubbly fundies.
Wow, think highly of yourselves much? This "we are the special chosen people" mentality of yours really pisses me off. You act as though God only cares about your special little group (and ONLY those who think like you) and doesn't give a damn about the rest of the world. I won't ask why you would want to believe in that type of god because the answer seems pretty obvious.
@343panic
Yeah...underneath the facade of "I'm not worthy" and "undeserved grace" there's a whole truckload of arrogance in there. Between the belief that Jesus will entertain them (in most cases, individually) for all eternity, the fact that they don't even have to go through the whole dying thing to get there, being whisked to heaven, body and soul, the fact that they place themselves as the chosen...Pride's a sin too...
The irony is that goosebumps are a sign of the fact we've evolved from apes - they are our pores tightening so the hair on our body can stand up and make us look more threatening. If we didn't descend from hair-covered animals, we wouldn't have goose-bumps.
so the irony is that a fundie is using the concept of goose-bumps at all!
I would think Good Friday would do it better and I'll bet crosses are banned in Heaven.
As far as a bunch of folk showing up at the pearly gates? Happens every day doesn't it? Your claim.
St Peter "If I have to hear one more jerk ask if theres Nascar and football channels up here,,,"
"I wonder if Jesus gets goose bumps thinking about the rapture.
So Jesus gets a little frisson about thinking of blowing his own horn, going down and sucking himself off (and in that order), is that what you're saying...?!
Well, Marilyn Manson - the 'God of Fuck' - is reputed to be able to... shall we say... 'gratify' himself similarly, so...! >:D
Yeah, I'm sure Jesus can't wait to come back and cause mass death.
I don't really see much of a difference between these people and Cthulhu worshipers. In both cases, they're essentially cheering on the horrible death of the entire world.
Well wouldn't you, if 100 million insane people suddenly showed up on your doorstep, expecting you to give them full room and board, all with a strange, crazed look in their eyes?
That'd freak me right the fuck out.
Khorne, blood, skulls, throne, you get the idea.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
