FSTDT

Fundie Of the Year

The big one, selected from the top ranked fundies of the year we have three options that I figure almost everyone has to know.

Options:

1: Anna Diehl
The sinner in the hand of a vengeful god, and apparently quite content with that. Easily our most honest and disturbingly coherent fundie in years. A sample of her work:

Of course all of these theories are based on a refusal to accept that God could find true delight in torturing people. Well, tough. HE DOES. Are we really so arrogant that we think we can define who God must be, or that we can change truths about Him simply because we don’t like them? If our Creator gets high off of torturing His enemies for eternity—which He clearly does—then we need to face this fact square on and ask the Holy Spirit to help us deal with it. ...

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2: CAAMIB
And more other accounts than I even care to name, this guy... I actually feel kinda sorry for if his world really looks like that to him. But I sure as hell wouldn't let him inflict that on others.
I have and I still believe I'd have sex with a woman against her consent. The difference now is that when I wrote that I thought that rape is forceful sex against a woman's consent. I was wrong, since I didn't know enough history and was brainwashed my feminist propaganda.
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3: David J. Stewart
One of our more prolific fundies, both in what gets posted here and what he writes in general. Quoted in all three categories this year and frankly could have been nominated in either of the ones I'm doing awards for, but thankfully not quite all three categories on the site. I checked.
Religion is the WORST thing that has ever happened to this world; Countless Billions of souls have been doomed to Hellfire by false religion. Learn what the Bible has to say on the matter. I expose many false religions... not to be unkind... but because the truth has been hidden from the world's masses. Just remember, religion didn't die on the cross for you—Jesus Christ did!
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Conspiracy Theorist of the Year

It was a good year for insanity, and certain efforts should be recognized.

Options:

1: Anonymous Cowards, of GodLike Productions
I'm cheating here, but they're also the group with the highest fundie index on CSTDT for last year. The anon comments over on GLP are amazing, not always in a good way, but amazing.
I have recently had an epiphany about dinosaurs that makes perfect sense! You would have to be spiritual minded to see it so I suspect many scientific minded people will tell me I've lost it...that's okay.

Here was my idea, just as the fallen angels have manipulated with genetics to claim their own creations (and to piss God off), I suspect they took God's creation of birds and genetically altered them to make their own creation. That is why scientists claim dinosaurs evolved into birds because so much of the genetic code of birds is in them.
...
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2: Patrick Scrivener
Someone who tends to run the lines between fundie and conspiracy theory, but I think conspiracy wins out on his top quotes. Special thanks to Yossarian Lives for bringing us so many of these.
Before the advent of MI6 sponsored communism in Russia, the Orthodox Church completely rejected the heliocentricity of Galileo and the evolutionary myth of Druid Charles Darwin. They also rejected the Syllabus of Pope Pius IX which completely condemned all scientific progress—except advances in spying and cryptology.
...
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3: Wiley Brooks
Odd one out, as he's only had one approved quote, but it was pretty amazing. Still not sure what if anything it means, so let's all stare in mild confusion.

In order to understand why I have chosen these foods you must first know how the human bodies descended into the 3rd dimensional world in first place. This is not our natural home. Being here as long as we have been was not intentional. We didn’t plan to stay here permanently. You could say it was purely by accident that we ended up getting stuck in this 3d world. The Earth, without a doubt, is the most beautiful planet in the Milky Way galaxy and that is why it was "the" vacation spot of the galaxy for millions of years. There was always a constant stream of visitors coming here from Worlds and Galaxies far and wide.
...
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Quote of the Year

A new hit from an old favorite, a disturbing conspiracy and the funniest damn thing I saw this year. These are the top quotes from each category, which is the best?

Options:

1: AV1611VET, from Christian Forums
I hadn't seen much from him in quite some time, but he came back strong with this one.

First of all, up until the Tower of Babel, they had to speak some language.

What language was that?

What's the best candidate?
...
Thus we have all peoples, nations, languages and tongues, standing before the Judgement Seat, being read to from the KJB.

Thus if they speak Jacobean English in Heaven, I assume they spoke it on earth at first.
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2: Diana Napolis
I honestly have no idea what to say here, but entirely believe every WTF?! was warranted.
The Enemy has been busy forcing others to have sex with them. They have a method of copying sex responses and placing these responses within penises and artificial vaginal canals. They copied my vaginal canal and orgasmic response, and placed that response into other artificial canals so that the enemy could insert it into themselves.
...
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3: white male, from Beyond Highbrow
It won an award within 30 seconds of me starting to read it and has given an entire demographic a bad name. I don't really even need ot quote that much of it to show why it's here. Poe or not, funny shit.
um nope. I am a proud white male with an 18 inch cock, thicker than a gallon milk can. I have a pedigree going back 10 thousand years to the Aryan-Teutonics of Asgard and Atlantis, and the government is so frightened of my innate caucasoid potential that they made me file a non disclosure agreement of my superior white male dna supreme genetics.

You see white men are actually from the distant island of atlantis which was floating in the tuberclizician Stratosphere of Earth, which Gulliver christened as Laputa.
...
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Best Cult from an 80s TV show

This is a special request I could not help but follow up on. And as a single nomination vote you can enter 1 to vote for it, or 0 to vote against it and tell us if the following is the Best Cult from an 80s TV Show.

Option:

1: Wulf Ingessunu
Woden's Folk is invariably criticised and attacked by those whose aim is to discredit anyone who opposes the Global Order.
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One of the main targets has been The Hooded Man Prophecy since this is an easy one to get at since it has no 'historical' authenticity - so we are led to believe.
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Firstly, yes this does come from the TV series Robin of Sherwood and was no doubt made up for the series. But that does not invalidate this as a prophecy, but we can only recognise it as such through the knowledge of what its hidden meaning is.
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In order to understand that The Hooded Man Prophecy is valid you need to understand the above ideas clearly, because without a knowledge of what an avatar is this will never be understood. Only through recognising that a god can actually incarnate in the flesh will we be able to understand what I am trying to say
....
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Pseudo-Intellectual of the Year

We had a few nominations for this request, but remember if they are not worth the honor you can always vote 0 to deny it to anyone.

Options:

1: John C. Wright
Despair is the key. It explains nearly everything that is so puzzling about the madness of modern life, the pack of self-contradictory dogmas that make up the default assumptions of the Dark Ages in which we live.

They have nothing else. No wonder they are bitter. No wonder they are irrational. No wonder they lie like dogs. No wonder they boast. No wonder they are full of envy and malice. No wonder they kill babies in the womb and fete socialist dictators and mass murderers. No wonder they love death. No wonder they admire, protect and love Islamic terrorists. No wonder they admire, protect, and love sexual perversion.

It is because they have nothing else. They live in a world of darkness, without hope, with nothing but their seven great friends to sustain them: pride, which they call self esteem; envy, which they call social justice; wrath, which they call activism and protest; sloth, which they call enlightenment; gluttony, which they call health food and legalization of recreational drugs; greed, which they call fairness in taxation; lust, which they call sexual liberation.
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2: W. F. Price
As for young women, higher education is an enormous waste in most cases. They spend their time learning from lesbian pornographers, drinking, whoring and learning to look down on their male peers even as they debase themselves. The old idea that it will help them find a suitable mate is so outdated as to be laughable, but it’s what keeps parents paying for college tuition for their daughters: they hope that daddy’s little girl will get hitched to some conscientious beta male instead of knocked up by a hoodlum. This is the single biggest reason parents send their daughters to college, and it’s a gamble that will only pay off about half the time these days as the female to male ratio approaches three to two at universities (not all college-educated men marry college-educated women, or marry at all). Not a good bet for roughly $100k, but it supports legions of hard-left ideologues, which explains the enthusiasm for the failing system in mainstream media outlets.
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I feel compelled to note, lesbian pornography was involved in my college experience, but not in the way Mr. Price is concerned about it. Funny story actually. Anyway, This year's voting form:

FOTY [X]
COTY [X]
QOTY [X]
BCF80TV [X]
POTY [X]

Submit the above as your comment, replacing the X with the number you vote for in that category. If you want to vote against the existing options enter the number 0, if you don't want to vote at all either leave the X or erase the line. Counts will be done at the end of the month.

Covered most of what I was doing last time, and 100% of the vote wanted to know more so here goes:

SQL Indexes, they're specifically ordered subsets of the data otherwise contained within the tables. You have a Numeric ID on a table 1-100, you most likely have an index that has nothing but that ID in it to reference that ID as fast as possible. In fact most IDs will have something like that because it makes the random crap developers need to do pretty quick, along with any simple functionality. These indexed columns are the columns your index runs on, when you're looking to make a decision based on certain fields having them indexed means you consult the index and check it in a pre-determined manner rather than checking every piece of data to see if it fits the criteria. The index does a fair bit of the work for you that way, it tells you which record you're looking for as fast as possible if setup correctly.

But that's not all you can do with them, like the old library catalogs you may be too young to remember, there can also be other information stored as an index entry. Summary, publisher, and a whole bunch of other information would be available when you found the index card in the catalog. SQL Indexes can do the same thing. See, in all but the most basic queries just finding the item you're looking for isn't enough, you also need to find information related to that item. Which means you can include columns which are not themselves indexed, but are immediately available from the index when an item is located.

That is what explains the difference in both sizes and effectiveness of the two indexes I was bandying about last post. The small index only contains the columns which are indexed, once the record is found the database engine then has to go consult the table and pull the remaining details. The large index contains ALL of the relevant columns, which happens to be all of the large columns in the comments table, and returns them immediately. As mentioned before, the immediate trade offs are size of the index and speed at which the intended query runs. The large index doubles the size of the table as it contains all the same information, but it runs twice as fast as the smaller index that is a very small fraction of the table size.

However there is one other concern that'll crop up real quick, maintaining the index on a live server. Like a library catalog, when entries are added or modified the index needs to be updated within the space allowed or you need to rebuild everything, including all columns stored within the index if they're part of the specifically indexed columns or not. Using the large index as an example this would mean that every time a comment is added space for the comment, author and various IDs would have to be allocated, plus any time a comment is modified an existing entry would have to be modified, possibly forcing it out of the current order and causing extra over head in pulling the index together. At that point you could rebuild or reorganize the index to effectiveness by rebuilding the index, but the data would be either unavailable or available at a severely reduced rate for the duration.

As it sits, I'm going with the smaller index because it'll hold together for far longer and can be rebuilt in seconds rather than around five minutes and it's still considerably faster than the existing query. Providing a consistent speed is often as important as anything else with databases, and it would do far better in that regard.

In theory I have time to poke at some of the other core code for the site this weekend, we'll see how that works out. If it works out I may be digging up a temp domain to try out a new host and beat the new code around before all that much longer.

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