Giving up masturbation is hard, and some guys find it's impossible to do so permanently. The best thing you can do is pray whenever you get an erection, and ask God to give you the strength to resist temptation.
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Like god has nothing better to do than listen to you whine about your boner.If he were real and had to listen to every prayer of every man who was thinking about masturbation, then he'd never have time to do anything else.
By all means, have fun trying to negate your body's natural urges, there ImmenselyDeluded.
The best thing you can do when you get an erection* is to find a willing partner and have sex. If you can't find a willing partner, then masturbation is the next best solution.
Repression is unhealthy for your psyche.
*this assumes you are at home and in private.
Or take the biblical way and cut it off.
Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Matthew 5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Revelation 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.
I've decided that we need to convince them that the bible says suicide's okay and to cut their dicks off, it's the only way to stop them
If it offends thee, ImmensePrude, you know what Jesus said to do.
BTW, does it annoy any of you that fundies always seem to think its only men who get sexual urges? It's the same when they say women should cover up because, you know, only men get turned on by the sight of a sexy body. They seem to think women don't ever lust, or masturbate, but then they call women inherently sinful because they cause men to lust. By their own logic, men are at fault and women can do no wrong, yet these are the same people who say women are weak and should submit. Arrrrh! The doublethink makes my head ache!
yes, giving up masturbation is hard, especially when you READ about the benefits to one's prostate bestowed by the ejaculation, so get a woman, or get a grip on yourself
"Ah ask ye Lawd, banish thy unsightly erection! Give meh strength to choke thy chicken no more!"
*choir sings in background*
I must take a firm stance here. It is hard to not masturbate, just as it it hard to not use your arms, or drink only through your nose. And like those 2 other things, there is no advantage in avoiding it.
I hope nobody beat me to this analogy. If they did, I figured it would be handy to say again. You know, to pump up knowledge on the subject, enlarge your mind on the matter, boner up on the subject... alright, I'll stop.
...penis.
That sounds healthy...
Wait, no it doesn't.
Why, aside from carpal tunnel syndrome, would anyone give up masturbation? It feels great, it's relaxing, there is evidence that it is good for my prostate.... Did I mention it feels great?
Have a circle jerk for Jesus. I might even cum to that.
See, this is what I hate about your concept of sexual morality. You douchebags always take it WAY overboard. God forbid you pleasure yourself, and a bunch of cells--which were going to die ANYWAY--end up dead. No, just give in to a life of sexual frustration. Real proactive.
Pray to resist temptation you say?
No...no...no, That just won't do. You've got to spank that naughty monkey!
Wow... Because fully functioning equipment is eviiiil!!!
Hmmmmm, imagine this...
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Giving up bowel movements is hard, and some guys find it's impossible to do so permanently. The best thing you can do is take Immodium and pray whenever you get an urge, and ask God to give you the strength to resist temptation.
Giving up masturbation is hard, and some guys find it's impossible to do so permanently. The best thing you can do is pray whenever you get an erection, and ask God to give you the strength to resist temptation.
Ummmmm, I'd like to use one of my lifelines and phone a friend please Eddie!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
Now that we're discussing masturbation, that reminds me- I've got some catching up to do...
Because praying and trying to repress masturbation don't lead to weird shit like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYT2aWavXlc&feature=related
Nuh-uh. Never happens. Because absolutely nobody ever got so wrapped around the axle that they started a music group that sounded like the Pet Shop Boys after snorting an eight ball.
Gotta go get some brain bleach now...
"The best thing you can do is pray whenever you get an erection."
Like this:
Dear Lord, I've got a woody. Please make it bigger. Amen.
Prayer does sound like a good idea...
"God, Please give me the strength and endurance to make my next masturbation session the best one ever."
Masturbation is hard to quit, I'll give you that. But think of it this way. Every male (and I don't mean to be sexist here) good Samaritan and supreme asshole on the globe, from Martin Luther King Jr. to Kim Jong-Un- what unifies them? Masturbation. I will bet you a hundred dollars that Jack Hyles did it too. You just don't know about it...
Interesting Classical Conditioning experiment you're suggesting there, Pavlov!
Pair these stimuli together:
1. getting an erection/getting aroused
with...
2. praying
After awhile, aren't you concerned with getting an all-of-the-sudden raging hard-on during your next church service?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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