Feminism has so radically redefined marriage, sadly even amongst many Christians today, that women no longer seek a leader, provider and protector in a husband. Instead they just want to “marry their best friend”. Friends are great and even friendship in marriage is wonderful and should be a goal in marriage. However, friendship is not the core purpose for which God designed marriage. God designed marriage to paint a picture of Christ and the Church. The husband is to emulate Christ in how he lovingly leads, provides for and protects his wife. And the wife is to emulate the Church by following his leadership and submitting to him everything as the Church submits to Christ.

Before 19th and 20th century feminism economically freed women from men, women were highly dependent on men in order to survive. Except for rare instances, women could not own property and it was difficult for women to work and make money except through their father or husband.

So it was primarily through economic means that a man acquired a wife. Men did not have to “win the heart” of a woman in order to marry her. They did not need to be the most handsome man . They did not have to flatter the woman and tell her they wanted to worship her with her their lives. They simply had to make enough money to support her and then if her father was impressed by his economic means then he would approve the marriage.

This is not to say that fathers did not often consider the character of a man to whom they would give their daughters in marriage in addition to his economic means. But the point is, it was not the woman that the man had to impress in order to marry her, but rather it was her father.

But because of feminism there has been a massive paradigm switch in how men come to marry women. No longer are fathers the ones who determine who marry their daughters, but it is the women themselves who set the terms.