My husband is an "autist." Like most other aspies I've known, he's also among the kindest, most thoughtful, and most intelligent people I've ever met.
Sure, he has pretty intense interests he's very passionate about especially in computers and networking and he can long-winded about that and the other things things he loves, such as cooking (kind of ironic because he's got to be the pickiest eater I know of). He also has trouble understanding when other people aren't interested in whatever it is he's going on about and pausing to give them a chance to respond. At the same time, he can also be abrupt to the point of seeming curt, but he's actually very friendly and means well. He just has trouble recognizing social cues and how he comes across to others. When you point any of this out to him, he apologizes and thanks you.
But all of that aside, a sense of humor and the ability to understand it is not among his "deficits" most of which I actually find endearing and good qualities, anyway. As someone into programming and who can't cook for shit, his technobabble and love of cooking are the very opposite of bothersome to me. He doesn't mind me telling him when that's enough talking about something for now or interrupting him to respond. He says my doing so has helped him with his social skills, and I can see it. Everything else about him is more than enough to outweigh any weak points he has as a result of his "syndrome."
My husband is why I've come to understand just how disordered society is for not understanding and appreciating mental and neurological diversity. A person's unique qualities only become "disorders" and "syndromes" when they interfere with the ability to function and achieve self-actualization. It's ok to use therapy and medication as a means to help overcome this hell, it's what ought to be done but it's not ok to try to erase a person's personality traits with "therapy" and medication, stopping only when enough of their unique qualities have been erased for society feels to comfortable with calling them "normal." If an individual is able and willing to be a functioning and upstanding member of society, but society doesn't want to let them because they're not "normal" and "conformant" enough, then that's society's problem, not the individual's.
*Sidenote: I can be just as longwinded and completely absorbed in what I'm talking about, as anyone who's visited the IRC knows; hyperfocusing also comes with being ADHD, and I am beyond ADHD. Also, as far as ADHD is concerned, the therapy I received for it helped far more than any medication ever has, though there's no denying that I also need the meds.
