David J. Stewart #fundie

David J. Stewart #fundie blogger.com

[Submitter’s note: this is not a joke. I repeat, not a joke. Again, NOT A JOKE. This is on his profile.]

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Bloggers with an interest in finding a fairly attractive Christian woman to marry before Jesus returns.

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David J. Stewart
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Interests: preaching the King James Bible, playing musical instruments, finding a fairly attractive Christian woman to marry before Jesus returns

12 comments

before Jesus returns

So no rush.

Btw, Brother David doesn’t support divorce. So if he marries again, by his own creed he’ll be living in adultery. But I suppose, as always with fundamentalist Christians, that only applies to others.

@checkmate #59298

It’s all good because what happened was his wife’s fault, obviously.
/s

@Bastethotep #59300

The terms ‘fundiecel’ and/or ‘DJScel’ definitely need to be used more…

@Bastethotep #59300

Ew. Going on thirty three years married to my wife and i still watch her walk down the stairs.
So, apparently DJS and i have drastically different ideas of what is natural....thank Cthulhu.

@Bastethotep #59300

Ah yes, but his excuse isn’t polygamy:

To divorce one's spouse is to force them to commit adultery by remarriage. You abandoned them, so they had no choice in the matter. You broke your promise (marriage vows) to remain with them until death. The following Scripture is woefully misunderstood by most preachers. In view of the two previous Scriptures, Matthew 5:32 and 19, we learn from Jesus that the only time remarriage is allowed is when one's spouse divorces them and has run off in adultery with someone else. Since there is no hope of reuniting the marriage at this point, only then is it clear that one's spouse is not returning and it is ok to remarry. ...

https://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Family/Marriage/divorce-remarriage.htm

finding a fairly attractive Christian woman to marry before Jesus returns

image

Oh no more, please Mr. Wilde, I am bereft of ribs! [/Doug Piranha-levels of sarcasm]

...still, you could always have as a 'Waifu' the above Ranpha Franboise: say... on a Dakimakura.

Eh, David J. 'Pillowfucker' Stewart...?!

@checkmate #59305

That’s uncharacteristic of DJS. Chances are he’s preaching this because he tires of fundieceldom. It’s not normal for him to show pity for someone with sexual or emotional misfortune.

“Hey babe, you’re fairly attractive.”

As an experiment I think I’ll try that one. On second thoughts however, I won’t try it after all.

<@KeithInc.> #59303

I’d think it would be more interesting watching her walk up the stairs, actually.

@checkmate #59305
Okay. It’s hard to keep tract of DJS’s beliefs, considering both how prolific he is and how incoherent and self-contradictory his theology is.

@Citizen_Justin #59312

I think Kramer did something like this in a Seinfeld episode.

David J. Stewart #fundie blogger.com

12 comments

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