@Feral_Coon_Slayer
A fucking nigger is over at my house right now. Because we're having a fucking family reunion, and some distant relatives (white trash in my opinion) decided to show up from out of bum fuck no-where, and they bring their nigger with them. I had a hard time keeping from going into anaphylactic shock. The first thing that came to my mind was, is my gun loaded, and is it easy to reach. Fuck. Those. Shit. Bag. Relatives.
I feel your pain.
I visited my sister at Christmas a few years ago in St. Louis and there was a nigger buck in the room when I arrived. I took her into the kitchen and asked her why she invited a nigger from work. She told me that it invited itself and I said, "But, it's your house!". Then, I began yelling, "nigger! nigger! nigger! nigger! nigger!" and she seemed to get upset but was also laughing. She said, "He works were we do!". I responded: "So, it's not you saying it - it's your racist brother from Georgia!" When we came out of the kitchen, the nigger had fled, and there were no recriminations for my behavior. In fact, everyone seemed to be more at ease and more in the spirit of Christmas.
Then, we all settled in for a viewing of "A Christmas Story" and "Miracle on 34th Street".
It was a White Christmas!
17 comments
I, being as arrogant as i am and having a few of those strange connections, know that i'll be relatively powerful and will be able to get away with saying this.
I would've killed all of Family #2.
I would've gotten their address, and hired my personal militia to flank the place into non-existence.
I, personally, would've pissed and shit all over their dead bodies while laughing, "WHO'S THE DUMB IGNORANT PERSON, NOW, BITCHES?"
I call the police and tell them not to answer phone calls from that block.
Then i'd go home and watch 2 And A Half Men while eating cereal.
Bastards.
FNORDDDD!
Is it just me or do racists come up with the stupidest goddamn screen names?
And, granting them a five-second grace period wherein I accept they aren't lying, I'm amazed the black people involved had the grace not to stomp their heads into their torsos.
"I had a hard time keeping from going into anaphylactic shock."
Oh HELL no! You are NOT going to equate your racism with a medical condition. A FATAL medical condition. I spend too much time toting around my EpiPen to have you equating my allergies with your stupid racist shit.
...
Yeah, I could go off on how racist it is, but I'm kind of latching on to the least questionable thing to save my brain from further distress.
The first thing that came to my mind was, is my gun loaded, and is it easy to reach.
Here's what the second thing should have been:
image
I just get an image of a dumb as hell fat white guy running around his kitchen yelling 'Nigger! nigger! nigger! nigger! nigger!' before hitting a wall and being knocked out.
That should have been how this ended.
If I was there and you said anything like that, the second thing going through your mind would be my fist.
I'd say that people who actually have friends of a different race are FAR less trashy than people who post on Chimpout. The worst they did was breach etiquette by bringing an uninvited friend to a family reunion (and we don't even know how formal the reunion was or whether bringing a guest was allowed or not). Maybe tacky, but not a reason to shoot them or their guest.
That white trash is not nearly as distantly related to you as you seem to think.
And your story is crap, anyway.
Sure. You guys really seem to take charge of a situation. [/sarcasm]
What Actually Happened
First Story
A family is having their family reunion, and all things are going well as it seems. Even the racist relative is behaving himself and not acting like a jacka**. Then a relative comes with black spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, and everyone else holds their breath that their racist relative won't spaz out. After being warned that if he does cause a scene, he will be kicked out, the racist relative is left seething instead of getting his own way.
Second Story
When the racist brother from Georgia came to visit his sister for Christmas, he was appalled that a black guy was in the home freely on his own accord. When he confronted his sister about this, his sister, in fear for some reason(hopefully not for a lack of spine) of her own brother, made the excuse that he came up here by himself. After yelling the n-word in hopes of scaring the black person out of the home, his sister and her relatives apologize to the black person still in the home and proceed to kick out her racist brother from the house. From then on, everyone inside the home had a merry Christmas.
If anyone ever dared to bring a nigger to any family gathering I held, they'd both be tossed out on their asses and I would make it clear that the offender was not considered part of my family anymore.
Let them go roll in the mud with their pet turds. There will be no filthy niggers bringing their monkey violence around my loved ones.
When i was an instructor at Navy Guided Missiles School, some of the guys in the C3 office came rushing over to tell me i just HAD to meet this new instructor that had checked in.
Some people are not fit for this world.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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