Dear Faggots, Dikes, Soddomites, Lissbians, and Queer Bates: I recently
came across your address in a magazine I was reading and a plea for
donations to support your perversions caught my eye. Their is no excuse for
you. Your all sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick.
Gays are barf-inducing because you know what they do in private. Sex organs
are not very sanitarilly clean. Regard- less of a man's ability as an
artist, dress designer, or choreographer (three favorite professions, I'm
sure) the bottom line is that he enjoys [a long, explicit and obliviously
well-researched description of gay male sex]. I'm sure that lesbians engage
in similar disgusting acts [no description: they still can't figure out what
we do in bed!].
[...]
The homophiles are nothing short of a hatred spreading group that has joined
forces with the KKK, and the brown shirters and the anti- semetics. Homos
have no right to teach in our public schools. You just want to pray on our
children and lead them in a stray. There isn't a homosexual alive who fought
and died for his country like we did.
My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex with a
man and neither has my wife. I hope that your campaigning for homosexuals is
due to your being unknoweable rather than you thinking the things they do
are just sexual preferance.' Keep your sexual perversions to yourself and
I'll keep my sexual perversions to myself.
99 comments
Homosexuals are not about to teach, but you, unable to spell and make a coherent sentence have credentials to "enlighten" us. Bearing in mind that your son can´t be Lesbian and your wife must have some eye for men if she means to be straight, what´s your point anyway?, that if you don´t like their lifestyle, don´t give them money and end of the tape? And explain to me how are they joining forces with an organisation which exists only as a father rights movement(not gay friendly, to begin with), the KKK(another homophile)and anti-semitic..........I wish you were a parody.
"There isn't a homosexual alive who fought and died"
Well, I guess you have a point there.
"My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son."
Thank you for that insight.
"I've never had sex with a man and neither has my wife."
Maybe she could describe lesbian sex to you.
This has got to be satire. XD
"Sex organs are not very sanitarilly clean."
And they're automatically cleaner during het sex?
"The homophiles are nothing short of a hatred spreading group that has joined
forces with the KKK, and the brown shirters and the anti- semetics."
Never mind that they actually agree with you . And hypocrite, much?
"There isn't a homosexual alive who fought
and died for his country like we did."
There wouldn't be a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in the military if homosexuals didn't fight for your right to spew bile. ETA: Ha! I didn't even notice that of course they wouldn't be alive...
"My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex with a
man and neither has my wife."
*sputters with laughter* I think your son is a lesbian and was born... how?
"Keep your sexual perversions to yourself and
I'll keep my sexual perversions to myself."
You're the one who went a-searching for gay sex. Get turned on? And what is lesbian sex? Chopped liver? (don't answer that *snort*) And by all means, keep your sexual perversions to yourself and we'll keep our to ourselves. Just like we're trying to do. We just want equal rights while we're at it. How silly of us.
Parody or not, that was fun.
"My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex with a
man and neither has my wife."
Errr....do you even understand what you wrote?
You should really work on your grammar.
"Gays are barf-inducing because you know what they do in private. Sex organs
are not very sanitarilly clean."
"sanitarilly?" Learn to spell.
For someone who is supposedly disgusted with gay sex, you seem a bit obsessed as to what they do in their bedrooms.
My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex with a man and neither has my wife.
i dont care, parody or not, that was one of the funniest things i've seen on fstdt.
My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex with a man and neither has my wife
I think you might want to check with your neighbors/mailman about that last part, bud.
Wait, no, everyone else is probably correct. This has to be parody.
Yea but this man's wife has experienced the miracle of immaculate conception.
This miracle has been surpassed only by the raising of the dead gay and lesbian military members en masse, that they need not have died for their country.
A pox on you all for not recognizing
his greatness and godliness. For shame!
There are a couple more paragraphs in the original letter containing such gems as hobosexuals and "when all you perverts are in hell it will be a much better place." I'm sure it will, hell always sounded much more fun than heaven anyway, now I definitely want to go there.
I still think it's satire. Another snippet:
Check the following versus of scripture: Genises, Romens, Leviticals, and Profits.
Leviticals? Profits? There isn't even anything close to "Profits" in the Bible.
POE.
Oh, and:
The Bible makes it clear that Jesus preferred straight men.
So, Jesus was gay for straight men.
Okay, after reading this post and all the responses, I'm going to have to stop reading Fundies at work. I'm getting odd looks from my coworkers. "What's he laughing at? This is work , all mirth is inappropriate!"
Maybe it´s hate mail, but I think that the person was meaning to parody. The misspelling is.............too much, even for fundies. And well, I can understand some lapsus this person has made. It´s called in grammar logical breakdown. What he means is that neither he, nor his wife nor his son are homosexuals, only that the order chosen makes it logical incoherent. However, what makes the letter ridiculous is the fact that he´s using such argument, that he is DELIVERATELY associating the gay movement with flatly known homophobics is simply stupid. Now, sarcasm aside, I think he means to be homophobic, only with a sense of humor.
My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex with a man and neither has my wife. image
Oh my goodness, that made my day.
... Your son is "not a lesbian"?
... Ya know, as a kid, I had no problem with gays and lesbians whatsoever, and still dont, obviously.
However, I didnt understand that there would be more than two terms. Far as I knew, "Homosexual" meant you like men, and "lesbian" meant you like women.
Far as I was concerned, I was a lesbian just like dad, and mom was homosexual else Id never be born.
So according to my "inner child", that dudes proud his son is obviously into other men. Guess he doesnt want anyone else being like that so he doesnt feel his kids the special unique one!
More from the original
"The Bible makes it clear that Jesus preferred straight men. That is why God sent you Aides"
"And now you have homophobia to wave around just like the jews have anti-semenic"
"you can call me homophonic if you like"
Also, he signs as
Satan - Hell Fire Lane - Hell, Inc.
My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son.
Well of course your son isn't a lesbian, moron.
I've never had sex with a
man and neither has my wife.
Tell me, how on earth did you get a son?
-I'll keep my sexual perversions to myself.
Please do.
"There isn't a homosexual alive who fought and died for our country like we did."
"I've never had sex with a man, and neither has my wife."
"Keep your sexual perversions to yourself and I'll keep my sexual perversions to myself."
POE
Joe---
The Brown Shirts were the SA, a paramilitary force that helped bring Hitler to power. Worked alongside the SS for a while, until Hitler and SS officials smacked them down and had several SA leaders killed or arrested.
Ah apparently not a parody. It's on a gay hatemail page which says - 'Here is the absolute best I've seen. It is snippets of various pieces put together by George Neighbors and Kathleen DeBold when they were working for the Human Rights Campaign Fund, which gets its fair share. Thanks for sharing it with us, George!'
Fundie - 'Hey son what the Hell do you think you're doing having sex with that man ??'
Son - 'Well Lesbians have sex with women, if I had sex with a woman wouldn't that make me a Lesbian ?? '
- Fundie thinks for about an hour -
- Fundie - 'Good point son, carry on.'
If his wife is Christian, there are 2 ways, assuming everything to do with his family is true, how this could have happened.
1. Sperm Donor
2. Adultery
My money's on 2.
My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son.
*snrk* I bet your son's back there shouting "I am too a lesbian, I LOVE women!"
I've never had sex with a
man and neither has my wife.
I bet she told you to write that one.
I hope that your campaigning for homosexuals is due to your being unknoweable rather than you thinking the things they do are just sexual preferance.' Keep your sexual perversions to yourself and I'll keep my sexual perversions to myself.
Yes, Homosexuals are UNKNOWABLE. JUST LIKE GOD. Unfathomable SECRET MASTERS OF ALL. Beware, lest you incur their INSCRUTABLE, yet flamboyant, WRATH!
I hope your son is not a lesbian!
No, I don't think your wife has ever had sex with "a man"
"And I'll keep my sexual perversions to myself"
Yessir, you will...
That part gets bonus points.
Either this is a parody, or he fails at editing. HARD.
On a related note, it seems the trolls are out in force.
"There isn't a homosexual alive who fought
and died for his country like we did."
Don't ask, don't tell, eh?
"My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son."
Well thank God for that! I'd be concerned if my son turned out to have a vagina too!
"Keep your sexual perversions to yourself and I'll keep my sexual perversions to myself."
This, by far, is the best part of the whole post.
There isn't a homosexual alive who fought
and died for his country ........
This is one sad, illiterate FUCKWIT.
"My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son."
Well, good, since boys can't really be lesbians.
"I've never had sex with a man and neither has my wife."
LOL! But you just said she wasn't a lesbian!
"There isn't a homosexual alive who fought and died"
If they fought and DIED, then yes, you are correct. There is not a homosexual ALIVE who has fought and DIED. However, there is not a heterosexual who has, either. :P
Pray? He's afraid that gay people will lead children to Christianity? ...Is this a Catholic priest joke?
Also, I know what you do in private, and it grosses me out. And I'm straight.
"My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex with a
man and neither has my wife."
Well, can't argue with that.
Yea, I don't think I want to know what YOUR sexual perversions are...beating your wife within an inch of her life before raping her at knifepoint and then doing the same to your daughter, jerking off to a framed photo of Bush and the first half hour of Saving Private Ryan, having phone sex with a 16 year old boy you met online, etc...
> My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son.
How can a man be a lesbian?
> I've never had sex with a man and neither has my wife.
So you've never had sex with your wife? Doesn't that tell you something?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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