Reminds me of Marabel Morgan's 1973 book The Total Woman. Morgan was in the social circle of the wives of Miami Dolphins football players and witnessed how a large percentage of these pampered young wives were destroying their marriages by turning into slovenly nags, so she wrote an advice book teaching her friends two things.

The first was time management. Hey girls: get your small half of the division of labor within your marriages done early, so you don't feel unhappy and bitchy about cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking etcetera on account of only getting it done at the last minute and under pressure. Get your stuff done early and you can feel great about yourselves while you go about your "me" time shoe-shopping or whatever, instead of feeling guilty about getting nothing done all day.

The second was to tell these women that in their conflicts with their husbands, THEY were the problem, not the husbands. These pampered young wives were always trying to vie for power in their relationships by doing stupid things like withholding sex because their husband hadn't taken out the trash yet. They were following female instincts to find grounds on which to see themselves as wronged, which they would then try to use as leverage. In short, these wives were not self-controlled and needed a man to control them, to not tolerate their bitchiness, but how many men are up to that without getting pissed off and alienated? These guys were stud athletes. That didn't make them extraordinary men who had any special talent for dealing with irrationally demanding women.

So Morgan tried to teach the women how to control themselves. She told them not to try to gain and use manipulative power in their marriages but do the opposite. Instead of holding back affection until they got what they wanted the wives were advised to unilaterally disarm: to give freely and generously, to stop nagging, to be hot for sex regardless of what else was going on the the relationship, and it worked.

All these wives discovered that it had indeed been them who was the problem. When they became forthcoming and generous their husbands did not grab the offered territory and demand still more. They didn't become oppressive. Instead they became MORE willing to do their part of the household division of labor. They reciprocated, and were just happy that their wives were not being bitches anymore, making them want to be with their wives more and make their wives happy.

The feminists absolutely hated it. The idea that women were the problem, not men, went against all of their ideology. But there is obviously a lot of truth to it: in very many cases women ARE the problem, and for that large fraction of cases the advice to stop being a bitch is important wisdom. Neither does it do any harm to women who aren't bitches to see someone lay out the ways in which a lot of other women ruin their marriages.

Then there are the feminists, that small minority of women who embrace self-destructive bitchiness, who don't want to be givers and don't want other women to be givers, but want all women to be as demanding and stingy as possible. That's their fight against men. They are in a constant tug of war.