Around 28 I started looking around, at all the women I used to find attractive and, they weren’t so attractive anymore. It wasn’t a conscious decision, my dick just said, “Don’t settle, they keep making new ones all the time.” And my dick does have the upper hand in debates when he’s the one that has to stand up and finish the statement. The wall is not kind to women.

Through much of history, this wasn’t an issue, because women just didn’t wait until such an advanced age to get married. And there are wife-goggles, where any women that ages gracefully will almost always be attractive to her husband. But I was single. Women will only be as attractive to you as when you started the relationship. And 28 wasn’t attractive to me anymore.

But wait, there’s more. You see, my dick is a long term planner, despite much evidence to the contrary. And one thing that really started to weigh on my decision making was how quickly a woman was going to age after I became involved with her. All around me I saw women hitting the wall, and even going for a women just a little younger was not going to get me interested enough to stick through that transition. And I started looking at 22 and 23 year old’s in a different light. They don’t even see it coming.