One Sunday on my way to church, as I got out of the Detroit-Windsor tunnel and into Detroit, as I was turning down Jefferson St to get to the freeway, there was a man screaming and yelling at no-one. He was yelling towards across the street but there wasn't anyone even there. I binded the demons operating in the man and commanded them to shut up ans stop tormenting this man in the name of Jesus. Although he did not even see me, as soon as I took authority over those demons in the name fo Jesus, he stopped screaming and yelling and walked away.
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Binding demons. In my D&D books, that was a form of Necromancy, which if I am not mistaken is a form of magic, which if I'm not mistaken is E-V-I-L and the work of Satan. I suggest self-flagellation.
"Binding demons. In my D&D books, that was a form of Necromancy, which if I am not mistaken is a form of magic, which if I'm not mistaken is E-V-I-L and the work of Satan."
And thus concludes another exciting episode of J-MAN, Christian superhero!!! Stay tuned, true believers! The best is yet to come!
There I was, minding my own damn bidness, yelling to myself and anybody'd listen about some shit I was pissed off about; my own personal demons ya might say - and then this goddamned fundy gets all up in my shit. Like my day wasn't bad enough, now this fucker brings HIS invisible friends out to play, also uninvited. Took all the fun out of it, I went home. Damn, can't leave a guy alone for a minute.
This reminds me of The Dark Knight, wherein two kids were sitting in the back of a car pretending to shoot at the vehicles in front of them. One of the cars actually exploded as Batman whipped by on his awesome motorcycle.
I think even the kids knew that they didn't REALLY possess superpowers. Apparently the same cannot be said for Christian fundamentalists.
thanks for making my job that much harder. if, and thats a big if, this man was posessed, youve now made the demons roo themselves even further into his soul.
"One Sunday on my way to church, as I got out of the Detroit-Windsor tunnel and into Detroit, as I was turning down Jefferson St to get to the freeway, there was a man screaming and yelling at no-one. He was yelling towards across the street but there wasn't anyone even there."
That's probably bullshit but if that's true here's how the rest went:
"I almost shit myself, I was so afeared, I took the first right away from him and took the long way to church calling on Jesus all the way. When I got to church there was a man yelling and screaming at no-one, I almost shit myself again but then remembered Pastor Hagee was a guest sermonizer at the pulpit this week.
On the way home I saw a gay guy, he looked right at me, I almost shit myself. Then I went to McDonalds and got some chicken McNuggests, the heathen working at the window on Sunday looked pretty damn gay too, on the way home I scarfed down the McNuggets and almost got in my house before I shit myself. Damn Demons!"
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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