[On a feminist shirt making fun of "rules of dating my daughter"]
I can’t help but wonder whether the fact that their fathers were so laissez faire didn’t teach the girls that their own sexuality was devalued. If your dad doesn’t give a damn what you do with your body, then maybe, if you’re a girl, you don’t think your sexuality is anything special or worth much at all.
Sure, we hear about girls who act out despite having very strict, conservative parents. But that’s the exception — not the norm. In my experience, it was typically the girls without fathers or whose fathers were very casual about these things who were the easiest — the sluts, so to speak. Those whose fathers were firm about sexual morality demanded that guys put a lot more on the table before they’d even consider it.
29 comments
"Sure, we hear about girls who act out despite having very strict, conservative parents"
You spelled 'because' wrong.
I know a girl who is asexual. That means little to no sexual attraction.
What do you say to that, WTF Price?
While I agree responsible parents shouldn't let their children date anybod, it would be more in the lines of merely banning some unsavoury characters (lazy, uneducated, self-destructive life-style) than micromanaging their children's sentimental lifes.
Sure, we hear about girls who act out despite having very strict, conservative parents. But that’s the exception not the norm.
It's also the exception among girls raised in liberal households and atheist households. Hell, you fuckers even complain about how atheists are too focused on their career and their rights to properly "put out" whenever the fuck you feel like it. Meanwhile, the Bible belt is the Mecca of teen pregnancy.
My, that point really sailed WAAY above your head, didn't it, dearie?
Why would being a girl mean that your sexuality isn't special or worth much at all, unless your daddy is boss?
I'd say that it's the kids of conservative parents that act out most.
Your sexuality isn't special. Much like your nose, it's a very big deal if someone goes dipping their finger in it without your permission but it's otherwise unworthy of the attention people like you pay to it. The only ones who should be concerned with it at all are you, your partner and, while you're a child, your parents.
"If your dad doesn’t give a damn what you do with your body, then maybe, if you’re a girl, you don’t think your sexuality is anything special or worth much at all"
A girl's sexuality is none of her father's damn business. It IS his business to teach her to have respect for herself as a person, to stand up for herself, and to make sound decisions for herself instead of bowing to pressure from others, so that she can be responsible for her own personal affairs. The alternative is to create a person who can't think for herself or maintain self control outside of an iron hand of authority. If she's seeing someone who's possibly dangerous or of bad character while she's a minor, that's his business, too, as is seeing to it that she's received proper education about safety.
I can't even begin to think about how creeped out I would have been if my father had thought it was his place to own my (sexual) body when I was a kid. (((shudder))) I'd probably still be in therapy.
http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=48138&Page=6#1281257
'Sluts' are those who have sex with anyone - except you .
I lost my cherry at school, when I was 16. What's your excuse, Mr. W.T.F. 'Still Jerking His Gherkin At 45' Price?!
And 'Devalued'? As the old joke (from the Torah) goes, 'Prostitution: You got it, you sell it. You still got it!'. Those who think the way you do, have never experienced what we who have (and still do to this day) and you never will.
I refer you to the pic in the above link, Pricey-boy. Must sting, when you know that people are still having sex , and you're not . [/Letour]
If your dad doesn’t give a damn what you do with your body, then maybe, if you’re a girl, you don’t think your sexuality is anything special or worth much at all.
Your sexuality isn't nearly as important as your dignity, your integrity, or your self-control. Fathers should teach their daughters to recognize the danger signals some men give off, and to avoid risky situations.
Because daughters are people, not orifices.
I can’t help
Being a raging arsehole?
There's probably one shred of truth in this, when he claims girls without fathers are more likely to act out, but that's because children without a father (or a mother for that matter) are more likely to engage in destructive behaviours. It's not about the fact that nobody is controlling their sexuality, it's that they are the product of a broken home.
Is it a parent's job to intervene if the child is dating somebody dangerous? Absolutely. If you don't care that your child is dating a control freak, a drug addict, or an abuser, you aren't worthy of being a parent. But the rest of the MRA crock he tries to extrapolate from this? It's just that--a crock.
@Anon-e-moose
As you said in the comment you linked to:
You lucky bugger! :3
@Fawful has seen God has a vagina on top of his penis
No, he just seems to use "popping a cherry" as an expression to mean "losing virginity."
I think I know the shirt. If I ever have a daughter, that's a shirt I want.
I find the "rules for dating my daughter" trend is creepy, possessive, and insecure. Look, raise your daughter right, then trust her to make the right decision. Or, maybe you're so worried because you know you didn't raise her right, which means you're a failure as a father.
^Honestly I find that attitude somewhat troubling, if only because hey, I remember being a teenager. I remember some of the stupid decisions I made, and I remember plenty of the stupid decisions my friends made. Until the child in question (note I said child, because I don't care about male/female) is a legal adult, the parents have every right to exercise some control over who the child goes out with. This is particularly true the younger the child is. Sometimes kids make bad decisions. They go out with drug addicts, parasites, abusers or people who are much, much older than they are. In any and all of those cases, I would like to think the parents would try to intervene in some way.
@ Cloning Blues
The original article regarding the shirt was about it being worn by the father of a 20 year old women whose picture in it went viral (though many people were still acting like he should be policing his daughter's sex life even though she's an adult) It's not meant to say that parents can't have a say in who their minor children date, it's more about boundaries regarding sex.
The shirt in question says:
1. I don’t make the rules
It's a shirt that plays off those tired old "shovel talk" and "rules for dating my daughter" jokes where the father threatens the boyfriend if he goes beyond whatever sexual contact *the father* is comfortable with. Basically those jokes set up a paradigm where one man is expected to adhere to the boundaries set by another (presumably bigger, stronger) man, lest that man punish him (usually violence is implied or explicit in these threats) This completely removes the girl/woman and her desired boundaries from the picture in favor of appeasing her father's sense of ownership of her sexuality.
This shirt and the attitude it espouses is a breath of fresh air because it basically says that a girl/woman's boundaries should be decided only by her and should be respected just for being her boundaries, not because violating them would incite the anger of another man.
Being aware of your daughter having a sex life is one thing. Letting her know that she can talk to you if she has questions or is having problems, fine. Insisting that only her dad get to pick who she dates and marries . . . no. Parents are not perfect matchmaking machines any more than one's best friend is - both can make mistakes.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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