Thank you for your post.
Everything that needs to happen before the rapture has presented itself, except for the possibilities of:
The world is actually waiting for us to leave because nothing else can happen and they can do nothing else before we are gone.
Here are some things we won't see before we are taken out of here:
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We are watching the Islamisation of the Middle East as they regroup in their Arab Spring/Winter to surround Israel.
Are you kidding me? Seriously? Israel's been surrounded by Islamic states since 1947.
""How long will our LORD tarry?""
That's a very good and a very important question.
Let's see. If we take the number of instances of our Lord landing His cloud in San Francisco, to stretch His legs for a bit, and multiply that by er ... soon (0 x eternity), then we get 0.
Or, if we take the number of times buzzardhut types bullshit and multiply that by er...soon (lots x eternity), then we get megalots.
So clearly, the answer is that 1) our Lord will be here immediately or 2) our Lord will tarry for longer than forever.
Note: If our Lord has not appeared by the time you read this, then answer number 2) is correct.
"Which leads us back to our original question: "How long will our LORD tarry?"
Since you retards were writing this crap in the early 1980's, I would say a long time.
Wait, you were writing it in the 1880s, so it would be an even longer time.
Here are some things we won't see before we are taken out of here:
So, basically the world becomes a better place without you? I couldn't agree more.
Israel is surrounded by nations for obliteration.
Okay, that's not so good but four out of five is a pretty good track record.
"The Fall of Damascus"
Not yet. We haven't seen Arse-sad dragged out of a sewer, a la Gaddafi, and subjected to summary Street Justice. Therefore Syria =/= Libya. Yet.
"Which leads us back to our original question: "How long will our LORD tarry?"
The Bible claimed that Tyre had been completely erased from the map. It's still there to this day.
So, I'd say that the answer to that question is this: Permanently. As in he doesn't fucking exist .
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See? So simple, even a baby understands. And that's before I mention your precious (C)Rapture.
It's use of words such as 'tarry' which doesn't exactly lend itself to taking you people seriously.
Your god will tarry until every star in the firmament has died, and the unicorn and the serpent lyeth together because the rapture was made up in the 19th century, and your god was made up in the Bronze age. Sorry.
"We are watching the Islamisation of the Middle East"
"We are watching countries collapse economically and calling for a financial savior to rescue them."
"The Euro is tanking and announces a need for a messiah."
"The world is actually waiting for us to leave because nothing else can happen and they can do nothing else before we are gone."
"Which leads us back to our original question: 'How long will our LORD tarry?'"
Now take your meds and get back to that nice, comfy padded room.
I am really impressed that you can stave off the collapse of international finance by your mere presence. And you're not even Jewish! At least they have a record of being essential like that.
...you read LeHaye&Jenkins' rapture books, don't you? Nicholae Carpathia does not exist, you know. He doesn't even make sense. And Israel has already been pulled apart and reformed. Are we assuming they were allowed to survive the diaspora as a distinct nation solely so they could hold the holy land again in time to be wiped out at the end of the world?
My favorite part: The Islamization of the Middle East. Dude, that was thirteen hundred years ago. Chill. That happened. It's done. No use flipping out over spilled milk.
We are watching the Islamisation of the Middle East
Are you kidding me? The Middle East? You know, the birthplace of Islam? Where Islam has existed for centuries? It's just now becoming Islamified?
The world is actually waiting for us to leave
You got that right, but not for the reasons you think.
because nothing else can happen and they can do nothing else before we are gone.
Then why do you raptards always complain about how evil the world is getting?
A new church leader rises up to unify all churches together under one banner of love and tolerance.
That you're against love and tolerance tells me everything I need to know about you.
How long will our LORD tarry?
Seeing as it's been 2000 years already, and since he said he'd return in his disciples' lifetime, I'm guessing you'll still be waiting for Jesus to return when you're on your deathbed taking your terminal breath.
"A new church leader rises up to unify all churches together under one banner of love and tolerance. "
"unify all churches together under one banner of love and tolerance."
"under one banner of love and tolerance."
"love and tolerance."
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Silly Pre-milleniumisms.
Clearly the option here is BURN THE HERETICS.
Silly Pre-milleniumisms.
Clearly the option here is BURN THE HERETICS.
To clarify to the idea he'd return in the displines lifetime was the resurrection and all.
He mentioned that he would also return at the end of time. Most non-Sola Scriptora beliefs belive that Revelation is inherently a book of allegory. Essentially telling Christians to stay strong through Roman Persecution. Things like referring to Nero Ceaser in the numerical form of his name in Greek.
Rapture will be basically, end of time. Everything after his resurrection is spreading the Kingdom of God on Earth.
Not that I believe it, but that's the post-milleniums view.
The Euro is tanking and announces a need for a messiah.
These people make this rapture thingy sound like a divine forclosure.
What is God in their eyes? A fucking accountant?
This narrative of a leader coming to unite everyone, and him being espousing love and tolerance, is a powerful disincentive for any kind of unity, tolerance or understanding on the part of Christian fundamentalists for anyone else. It means that when they hear these ideals honestly expressed, they suspect them and think, based on no evidence, that they must come from the Devil. One can imagine the consequences for their politics.
How long will you "LORD" tarry?
Oh, I'm thinking, forever.
@farpadokly, what strikes me is how the Raptards believe everyone else is completely helpless, sitting around passively waiting for a strong leader to rescue them. Apparently since Raptards need a messiah, everyone else does, too. People working together to help themselves seems to be anathema to these fundies.
Wow buzzardhut! I'm completely awestruck by how important you and your fellow air cadets are to the supreme being of the universe. Wow! You must be really, really special. You must be the specialest people in the whole universe, ever! Awesome!
"@farpadokly, what strikes me is how the Raptards believe everyone else is completely helpless, sitting around passively waiting for a strong leader to rescue them. Apparently since Raptards need a messiah, everyone else does, too. People working together to help themselves seems to be anathema to these fundies. "
Yeah. "The Euro is tanking and announces a need for a Messiah"? What are they going to do, put an ad in the help wanted section for "Messiah"?
You do realize, I hope, that everyone of your departed fellow believers who expected Jesus' return in their lifetime has been incontrovertibly proven wrong. For roughly the last hundred generations.
I expect this remarkably consistent trend to continue for the foreseeable future.
Forever.
It's a myth dumbass.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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